Make a story out of it...

I hope that the cup of coffee I'm drinking is quickly going to put me in a more cheerful mood. If not this one, then the one I'm going to drink after it. I am a bit down in the dumps and I've been trying in various ways to feel better, but they haven't made a difference yet. I wish I had a magic pill that I could take to cheer me up, but I know that such thing does not exist, although I used to think so. Now I'm counting on the coffee. 

I didn't start the day out too bad. I was a bit slow this morning and I took my time waking up in my armchair with several cups of coffee and my inevitable cigarettes. Once I had my head together after a long enough time, I took a shower and got dressed and walked Tyke. I seemed to function alright, but after that, I've been going downhill and my mood has not improved yet.

I did do the chores that needed to get done. I hadn't changed the bed last night like I had planned and I did that today and did a load of laundry. I've got a nice clean bed to look forward to tonight. That ought to cheer me up a bit, but that's nice for later when I've got my pajamas on. I've got to think about this moment and try to make a difference. I don't want to sit here like a bump on a log and be downhearted. I've got to find something to be a bit happy about right now. 

Maybe the last reduction of my anti-depressives has caught up with me and that is making me have a down day. Usually those reductions take a couple of days for your body to react to. The amount of medication in your body doesn't drop down to the new level until a few days after you've cut back. It's been four days since I reduced it. That could account for it and I may be okay again by tomorrow. There's no reason to get worried anyway. 

I heard somewhere that last night was a full moon. That would explain why I couldn't get to sleep right away. I never keep track of these things as I'm completely unaware of the moon in the night sky. I never know what phase it is in. I'm a typical city dweller when it comes to something like that. After the fact, I do always seem to be affected by the full moon and I should keep better track of it. It would explain my lunatic moments.

There's no sunshine today to cheer me up. It's completely overcast and cold. It isn't much fun to go for walks now and Tyke only gets short ones. We're expecting rain tonight and tomorrow we're even supposed to have wintry showers. I guess I was prematurely excited about the springtime. I am wearing cheerful clothes because of it. I thought I had to make the best of a gloomy day. 

The coffee hasn't helped much and I'm going to stop drinking it and switch to cold milk. I better stop having high expectations of today and strike this one up to experience. You can't have good days all the time. That would be too much to ask for. I suppose it's in human nature to have the odd day when things don't go all that great for whatever reason and I guess it keeps you humble in case you get a big head. 

I hope you're all having a good day. 

Ciao,

Nora

Man the ramparts!

I am drinking several cups of coffee. I decided on this action when I gently started nodding off behind the computer and I felt I had no desire yet to go back to bed. I was there earlier, but woke up because I had to go to the toilet and let Tyke out back and that was enough reason for me to want to stay up. I can't withstand the excitement of walking into the living room and turning on the computer and hoping there are some emails in my inbox.

Usually, I am not disappointed and I wasn't tonight, though the pickings were slim. There were only four emails and most of those were comments on my blog posts, though I am happy with them, of course. I won't look a gift horse in the mouth and comments are very welcome gifts. As a matter of fact, I prefer them to regular emails, which have a tendency to be about things people want from me or appointments that are canceled. They are seldom emails I really want to get. I always brace myself before I read them, except for the ones from my older sister. They are very chatty and she sends at least two a day. They are so uncomplicated.

Anyway, so here I am up in the middle of the night again, unwilling to go back to bed, though I will when it gets to be morning, and it's not as if I have a moonlit, starry sky to entice me because I can't see a thing of the night sky. I didn't even know there was a full moon the other night until someone pointed it out to me and I thought that declared my odd behavior. I am such a lunatic.

Come on, I am being a slow poke and the night is rushing toward dawn. I always have to sit and contemplate my navel. It would be better if I just sat and wrote, I would get a post written much quicker. Now I endlessly sit and reread the words I've written and it does me no good at all. I can't be having writer's block. I do know what I want to write about. The subject is very simple. It is all about me and what I think and what I've done. It can't get much easier than that. I'm not writing the great American novel. I think that was Main Street, wasn't it? Or is it Lake Wobegone Days? The jury is out on that one. Tell me what you think is the great American novel.

Speaking of novels, I do need to go back to reading mine, but instead of reading the one I had started, I think maybe I need to start a new one. It's very possible that I'm not in the proper mood for the book I was reading before I was so rudely interrupted by my crazy mood. I may need to put that one on the bookcase for a while and get out something else that intrigues me more. I have enough books to choose from and I must look carefully and see what I think may be attractive now. If you have any suggestions on novels I should read, then please let me know. Maybe I already have them, if not, I'll add them to my wish list over at bol.com. My ever growing wish list. Some day, when I hit the jackpot, I'm going to order them all. And buy a new bookcase. I'll have to move, though, because I won't have a place to put it.

Have a good morning.

Ciao,
Nora