That's the end of that...

I've just emptied all the ashtrays and put them to soak in the kitchen sink. I've smoked my last cigarette and put a nicotine patch on. I'll have no shortage of nicotine and all I have to do now is get over the habit of lighting up a cigarette. But this is not the first time that I've quit smoking and I know I'll get over that. This is the third time that I'll try to quit and the third time has to be a charm. 

So I'm not worried about pouring myself another cup of coffee without having a cigaerette and in the morning I'll give the apartment a good airing out. I'll open up all the windows wide and let a good draft blow through. That ought to get rid of the smoky odor. I'll probably sit here and freeze my buns off but it's for a good cause. I'll have to wear extra warm clothes and that's no problem. 

I'm full of the best intentions anyway and feel no sense of panic at the thought that I can't smoke another cigarette now. As a matter of fact, I'm kind of relieved that I don't have to. It makes my life much simpler not having to worry about it. I won't have to think about always having to carry all that paraphernalia with me and always having to look for an opportunity to smoke which makes it so compulsive. 

It's in the middle of the night and I've already slept a couple of hours. I woke up on my own and much to my surprise, the dog was sleeping on his big pillow beside the bed. That was just when I thought he never was going to. I was wondering why I had so much leg room in my bed but it was because he was not lying on it. I hope he continues to sleep on his pillow because it's really where he belongs. I did buy it especially for him and not for the cat to lie on periodically. 

I'm hoping to have a productive day ahead. I'm going to the hairdresser in the morning, and that will be fun, but I want to do some household chores too and not waste the day doing not much of anything like I did yesterday. 

Hopefully, it's not going to rain during the day and I'll be able to hang a lot of my clothes from the closet outside on the clothes line. That will give them a chance to air out so I won't have to wash all of them. There's enough of a breeze anyway and the air is very clean from all the rain we've had. It should be perfect.

I've got to change the bed because I'm in the mood for clean sheets. I want everything around me to be clean and fresh smelling. I want it to smell like it does outside, like a spring day after a refreshing shower and not like stale cigarette smoke. 

I will have a glass of milk and see what other kind of trouble I can get into.

Ciao,

Irene

Too early to sleep, I suppose...

I was all ready to go to bed and go to sleep because I thought the day was done, but apparently I was too early with my attempt and my body wasn't quite ready to shut down yet. I was lying there wide awake, thinking all sorts of interesting thoughts, but not at all going to sleep so I got up again. 

I will try again in a little while because it is my intention to get a good night's sleep. Now that my lungs are inhaling clean air, I do feel that I'm a healthier sleeper and that my nights are spent better in a sounder sleep. I'm not bothered by nicotine and tar and other poisons anymore and I imagine that my breathing has become more liberated and that it affects my sleep also.

Actually, I'm imagining all sorts of good things and in my mind's eye my body is going through a healing process that I think it may not possibly go through that quickly in real life. I don't know how fast a body recuperates after smoking for so many years at my rate. I'm optimistic, though, and I'm willing it to heal quickly. I'm imagining pink and healthy tissue where my lungs are. I do believe in the power of positive thinking. 

I will know what sort of shape I'm in when I next ride my bike. I was in pretty good shape, but I expect to have more endurance now and more power in my legs. I'll really know how well I do when I ride up an incline. Those are always the true tests. 

I'm in my pajamas and bathrobe with a glass of cold milk. I have a craving for a Big Mac and french fries, but I don't think I'll be having them any time soon. It would be impossible for me to finish them, but it's nice to wish for them and to pretend I could have them if I wanted to. A Quarter Pounder would be nice too. I haven't had anything like it in years.

It's time for me to go to bed. When I start to have cravings like that, it's time to call it a night. Otherwise I will sit here and torture myself with visions of food I can't eat. 

Ciao,

Nora