Taking naps...

Since I've quit smoking, my life consists of taking many naps. I nap all the time, during the daytime as well as during the nighttime. Whenever I am bored and I think I may be sitting in my armchair with too much time on my hands, I decide to take a nap. This takes away the chance to feel the desire to smoke. 

I very cozily get under the duvet and fall asleep and have my very intricate and lively dreams for about an hour or two. Very often the dog wakes me up because he's bored and I very happily get up again. I'm never in a bad mood when I do. I know that whenever I want to, I can go back to bed. As long as I take care of my responsibilities in between naps there's no problem.

I like this way of life and it's a greeing with me very well. I know it's just a temporary life style and that it's not going to last forever. It's a solution to a minor problem and that problem will disappear as I get used to be a non smoker and I'm getting used to that more and more each day. The trick is to keep myself occupied and that I'm not always able to do, especially not on the weekends like now. 

I have started to eat more, but I went on the bathroom scale this morning and had actually lost a kilo. Apparently I'm not eating the wrong foods. I do have a hunkering for fried eggs and eat those a lot, but I don't eat any bread with them. I eat them plain without anything else. I fry them in sunflower oil, not in butter. I thought that might be healthtier, although butter tastes better. 

I also like slices of dense breakfast cake which is nourishing and filling but low in calories. I slather diet margarine on them. I can eat two slices of them at the time which is quite an improvement to how many I used to be able to eat. My stomach is treating me better. I can eat more with less problems. I think the medication is working well. 

Tomorrow ordinary life resumes when my personal helper and the domestic help will be here. I won't be able to take as many naps then. They haven't seen the latest changes in the apartment and I'm curious how they will react to them. Actually, I wish I could do more. I would like to redecorate all the time. I think it's my natural calling. 

As I sit here, I'm looking at a very nice framed glicee print that I got from an English artist that has all the colors of my decor in it. That turned out to be purely by accident and I just got lucky. I have it standing on my desk instead of the printer that I didn't have installed and that I never used. I figured that I'd rather look at a piece of art than at an ugly printer.The eye wants something too.

The image that is at the top of this post is not the one I have but is one of hers anyway. Her name was Tessa Edwards and she passed away last year.I'm sure if you google her you will be able to find more information about her and maybe even find out if you can still buy her art. 

I've got to get something to eat. They will be eggs no doubt, if there are any left. Maybe I will eat Parmesan noodles. That's a novel idea. Hmmm...

Ciao,

Nora

Olfactory sensations.

I have the smell of spaghetti with bolognese sauce in my head, topped with a good helping of Italian cheese. I could swear there was a plate full of it in the kitchen and just to make sure, I even went to look, but I was disappointed. I checked the kitchen cabinets and the refrigerator to see if I could make it myself, but of course, I didn't have the ingredients.

That's the olfactory sensation I woke up with in the middle of the night and wasn't it a frustrating one, because I can taste that spaghetti as if it's standing in front of me. I must have a terrible longing for a good helping of it. I'll have to get that out of my head as quickly as possible and maybe I can do it by having a cup of tomato soup. That may be the cure for it, though I would still like some cheese on top of that. 

Maybe just having a tall glass of ice cold milk will take care of it, as it takes care of all my cravings as a rule. It seems to be a cure all for everything. Even for the longing for Belgian chocolates. First I've got to have another cup of coffee. I have to be able to think straight and only the caffeine can achieve that, or so I think. 

It's actually not a cold night. It's 72F outside and inside it is very pleasant also. I'm sitting here in only my pajamas with bare feet. My feet are hot for some reason and I long to put them in a basin with cold water, but it would get messy here and I don't want to electrocute myself. I will put lotion on them in a little while and find refreshment that way. 

The dog always wants to lick the lotion when I apply it, so I have to rub it in quickly. I'm sure it's not good for him. He has strange tastes. The other day, he ate a raw zucchini with the greatest of appetites. It was like he had longed for it his whole life. Next, he's going to be eating Brussels sprouts. He also likes Mandarin oranges.

It's going to be a quiet day today and I'm going to enjoy it. Remember what I said about having that weekend feeling during the week? I'm going to apply it now. That means I'm not going to have that during the week stressful feeling. I will try to be as relaxed as I can get while still taking care of my chores and responsibilities. 

I also think that the increase in my anti-depressives is working now because I feel a lot better. That gloomy black dog is not following me around any more and I feel a lot more upbeat. Things weigh a lot less heavy anyway. I do them with much less anxiety and neuroses. Neuroses are a great thing to drop by the wayside. They are totally useless barbed things that leave you exhausted and hurt.

It's time to drink cold milk and that will leave me at a loss for words. It always seems to stop my flow of words, so I feel called upon to prove otherwise. I must write something down that makes sense. It also makes me instantly cold and I have to put on my bathrobe. Apparently, I will not have hot feet for much longer.

At least I've gotten over my longing for spaghetti with bolognese sauce. That's just a faint memory now. It's a good thing that you can't give into every craving that you have or you would get enormously fat. It's best to keep the cupboards and refrigerator as bare as possible. At least down to the most basic items so you don't fall into temptation.

I've got to go back to bed now. My brain isn't functioning anymore. Not well enough to finish writing this post anyway. I will hopefully sleep for a long time in the morning and then leisurely wake up with a cup of coffee and the news. 

Have a good day when you get up. 

Ciao,

Nora

Ain't it wonderful?

Today is actually Saturday and the first day of the weekend which I love so much. I can't begin to tell you why I do. It would turn into an endlessly boring story, but I do like the two days off from most of my responsibilities, few as they are and mostly imagined. I have 'during the week stress syndrome'. I always feel under a lot of pressure and it disappears over the weekend. 

I always felt that I had to be sick in order to get out from under the stress that I felt and used to get many mysterious cases of the flu. Headaches, sore throats, stomachaches. Now that I know better, I don't get these aches and pains anymore, except on rare occasions. I can honestly say that I'm actually physically a very healthy person when I didn't think I was before. 

I do still get backaches, but I think those have to do with posture and weak spots in my back. Being away from the computer and taking a good walk help take care of them. Having lost all the weight has also helped tremendously. I do very often have a sore spot halfway up my back, but that's due to the mild case of scoliosis. Sitting very upright helps and taking pain medication on occasion is also helpful. 

That goes to show you how mental stress can translate itself into physical ailments. You need to take care of yourself mentally in order to take care of yourself physically. I used to get an inflamed esophagus regularly and I never do now. My stomach used to be literally tied up in knots and make me feel sick to the point of vomiting. 

Anyway, it is Saturday and I can relax and enjoy the day which will end with an episode of 'Wallander' on TV tonight. It will be on late, so hopefully I will not be too sleepy and have the energy to stay up to watch it. It is on past my bedtime and I may be tempted to go to sleep. But then I would miss out on listening to all that wonderful Swedish, so I do really have to give it my best try and stay up.

Yesterday went by fine. A domestic help was here, but it still wasn't my regular one whose whereabouts are a mystery to me. The girl that was here instead was a part time worker who was really a student at the university, so capable of carrying on an intelligent conversation. She had coffee with the Exfactor and me when he showed up to do some shopping for me. 

The dog thought the domestic help had come especially for him and spent a lot of time bonding with her and by the time she left he was best friends with her. He does like all this company we get and he especially likes the fact that they're all cuddly women who take the time to pet him. He can't get up close and personal enough. He likes everybody. 

I finally had the courage to open up all my mail and was glad to find out that I could dismiss most of it. A lot of it went straight into the recycling box. Today I have to check the mailbox again because I haven't checked it in a few days not being in the right frame of mind to do it. I don't get mail every day and I have a sticker on my mail slot that prohibits junk mail. I don't want to have to deal with a lot of adverts as well as regular mail.

I checked the TV guide and found out that the daily exercise program is on at 8:45 in the morning. Unfortunately, that's when I'm asleep. I thought I needed the exercise to get rid of some excess fat and to tone some muscles. I have to figure out a way to do this. I know the exercise program is good because I've watched it a few times. 

I suppose I could set the alarm clock, but I don't know if I'm that much of a hero. I would be awfully grouchy if I was woken up by it and I wouldn't have had enough sleep. It's a real dilemma. I would probably shut off the alarm clock and roll over and go back to sleep. 

I have to stop eating vanilla pudding even though I only eat one bowl of it a day. I've got to switch to another kind of sensible and healthy food. I was thinking of whole meal rusk toast with cheese. As long as I feel that I've eaten something substantial. The vanilla pudding tastes great, but it probably has too many calories in it. It tastes too good to be true. 

Well, it's time for me to go back to sleep. I've been drinking cold milk and am sufficiently chilled to want to get back under the warm duvet. The dog's just been out back for a piddle, so he's all set for now. 

I hope you all have a great day. Enjoy your weekend. 

Ciao,

Nora 

A repeat performance...

It's in the middle of the night of Thursday going on Friday. Actually, it's officially Friday already, so I will stick to that. It's a much more optimistic point of view. The fact is that I like it being Friday instead of Thursday because it's almost the weekend. I will do a few chores in the morning before the domestic help gets here and then I will be home free. And then, ha ha (laughing wickedly), I will have the weekend all to myself to do with as I please. 

No doubt I'll fill it with all sorts of interesting things to do such as take naps and watch TV and walk the dog and sit and meditate in my armchair. That is if everything goes well. If I can sustain the mood I'm in. That's the crucial ingredient. I must be well tempered. That means keeping my mood as balanced as I can get.

At least I can treat myself to a pleasant night sat behind the computer with a nice cup of coffee. That's one way to get into a good mood. Nobody can take that away from me. I will have the agreeable experience of it and I'm enjoying that a lot. 

There's no real reason why I should enjoy it this night more than others, because I do enjoy them regularly anyway. Except last night when I was in a minor mood and nothing came of writing a post, but there have to be exceptions to the rule.

There's no need to over analyze this. Everybody has their ups and downs and I'm no different. Some nights you are full of goodwill and some nights you had better go back to bed, even if it means having a somewhat sleepless night until the morning when you properly fall asleep. 

It's with some amount of contentment that I sit here now and write down whatever enters my head, although I do try to make rhyme and reason of it. I don't want to sound completely like a ship set adrift. I do want to make some sense. 

No doubt the coffee is keeping me on the straight and narrow. It does have the tendency to keep my mind focused. At least it prevents me from drifting away from the subject at hand too much. 

But what was the subject at hand? It seems to me that I had not quite chosen one. I think I was just rambling on in a general sort of way and was not really focused on anything in specific. Maybe it's impossible for me to do that right now. There's nothing really pressing on my mind.

All I know is that I have to do the dishes this morning and do a load of laundry and dry it outside on the clothes lines. That will give me a good reason to change the bed again tonight and I can't do that often enough for my taste. The weather is going to be beautiful today and there will be no excuse not to hang the laundry outside. It should be dry in no time because it will be most pleasant out there.

Those are the calls of duty which I'm at liberty to ignore right now because it's not the right time to give heed to them. I've got some sleeping left to do first. It's with some reluctance that I'm going to go back to bed because I'm not nearly ready to. 

It's too bad that reality always creeps into your middle of the night musings. It's that sense of responsibility that calls you back to order. It's too bad that it's so exaggerated. I wish I had a little less of it. 

If you're still up, I hope you're having a good evening. If you're asleep, I hope you'll have a good morning. 

Ciao,

Nora

A Saturday interruption...

While it was really my intention to get dressed and do some chores, I've decided to drink some coffee and sit behind the computer for a while instead. I just got up and don't quite feel like moving around yet. I've just fed the animals and now Tyke is on his perch on the dining table looking out the living room window, watching the wind blow dried leaves down the street. He will be amused by that for a while. It's dog television.

I'm drinking some coffee and am thinking about what I'm going to do with the rest of the day and what is most important. There are some jobs that are pressing and I'm going to try and get those done today so I won't have to think about them anymore. They keep nagging me at the back of my mind and that's not fun. I never feel that I can quite relax until they get done. Call it my sense of responsibility. I must get them over and done with before I can sit down and start reading a new book. 

I finished reading Laurie Hertzel's book that's in my sidebar and that I can heartily recommend. Her description of her trip to Soviet Russia and her discovery of the Finnish Americans there was especially interesting.

It does mean that I have to look through the unread novels on my bookcase and find a good one to read. I've just gone through a period during which I didn't read much and whatever novel I choose, has to grab my attention well. I want to sit in my armchair and really install myself and spend some hours reading and not feel distracted by anything. I want to have the kind of book that I can get lost in.

I must get dressed and go out in the windy weather and walk Tyke. He is begging to go out. I will do my chores afterwards. It will feel good to get them done and spend the rest of the day easily. 

I hope you'll all have a good day!

Ciao,

Nora