Pleasantly scented...

I just spritzed on some of my new perfume in order to be pleasantly scented. I figured there's nothing wrong with smelling nice in the middle of the night while I'm sitting here all by myself. I do it just for my own pleasure and nobody else's. I don't think Tyke and Gandhi care one way or the other. They are sound asleep and oblivious of how I smell. I'm very much aware of it and it puts me in the proper mood to write. It's made me more alert. 

I should have pleasantly scented candles burning all over the apartment to make the place smell good or constantly walk around with a can of Brise and spray that around. I should make a point to do that regularly and air out the place a lot too. Now that the temperatures are getting milder there's no excuse not to do that. I do open the bedroom window every day, but I should open several windows and get a draft going. That would be mighty chilling. 

My short hair is really short and I'm still surprised every time I look in the mirror. I try to put on my most friendly face when I look at myself and be as feminine as I can be. I am wearing pretty earrings so I don't look too butch. It's better if I view myself in the full length mirror and get a completer picture than when I just see my head. I'm super critical of only my head, but I figure people don't just see it when they see me. They see all of me. 

I've got a good outfit right now that's flattering and that makes me look skinny. I'm already thinking of the subsequent outfits that I can wear that will be equally good. This one spans the crown and I'm being very careful with it and try not to spill anything on it so it will last a while. The clothes smell of my perfume and when I put them on in the morning it is very pleasant. I'm still wearing my clothes in layers, but soon that won't be necessary anymore. I'm managing to stay warm, though, and I only need to wear my black leather jacket when I go out. 

Besides getting skinnier, my feet have shrunk too and I'm now a size smaller than I used to be, so I have to take that into account when I order new shoes or boots. I'm wearing thicker socks with my boots, but I'm running out of them. I don't have enough and am going to have to buy some more. Hopefully they'll have them at the supermarket and the Exfactor can pick some up for me the next time he is there. It's amazing what they sell at the supermarket, but it is very convenient. 

Yesterday went by quickly for a Saturday. I didn't do anything important, but the hours flew by. I do mostly manage to amuse myself and don't get bored with my own company. There's always Tyke to have a good time with and to take for a  walk. It was raining for the latter half of the day and it was very cozy inside. I had the lights turned on and watched television and took a nap. I forgot to hang up the laundry to dry and will have to do that today. It was a day on which one would bake cookies if there were people to eat them. Or to bake a cake. I'm not foolish enough to do that, because I would have to eat it all by myself and there's no way I could handle that.

It's been a successful day if I've managed to achieve serenity and a sense of peacefulness with myself. I do run into obstacles and it's a challenge to resolve those. I apply whatever magic formulas are necessary. I really should delve into the study of mindful living more, which is the westernized version of Buddhism. So far I do my own made up version of it and customize it to my needs, but I'm sure there's a lot I could learn. It might be useful to read some literature on it, although you do have to be careful with that as I'm sure there's a lot of nonsense out there. Probably everybody is an expert. I could be an expert. 

I'm going back to bed for my precious early morning hours of sleep. It's too early to start the day. The sun's not even up yet. It's Sunday and the world will wake up slowly. 

Have a good day.

Ciao,

Nora

The bull by the horns...

Today is my day off and I can do with it as I please. I will have to walk Tyke and do some chores, but other than that, I can be as leisurely as I want to be. I have no appointments and nobody coming over. That means I can sit here in my bathrobe for a while with a cup of coffee and my cigarettes and take my time writing this. That's nice if I'm not inspired by my muse and I have to think about what to write next. 

Tyke was taken to the dog trim salon yesterday by the Exfactor and came back half the dog he was. His circumference had been decidedly diminished. He didn't, however, look like a puppy. He looked like the adult dog he is, with a fully grown body and a strongly built head and face. I did have to sit and stare at him in this incarnation quite a bit. He looked so tough, as if he was a different dog and some of his cuteness was gone. We did a lot of bonding, because I felt that I had to re-establish my ties with him. 

Of course, he's the same sweet thing he always was, he just looks different. We played with the ball and I gave him many belly rubs and scratched his ears and tugged his rawhide bone. He slept on the bed with me as usual and I think since he has such short hair now, he wanted to stay especially warm so close to me.

Yesterday, I also told my personal helper that I had less need for personal help now and that I wanted to reduce the care from 4 hours a week to one hour a week. She was quite taken aback and flustered. I don't think she knew how to deal with it, because I was so sure of myself and so assertive. The normal procedure is that they decide when you need less care and this is done after careful discussion in an internal group headed by a psychologist. 

I had already gotten the distinct impression that the 4 hours a week care would go on indefinitely and that there would be no re-evaluation. It surprised me that they didn't wonder as to what to do with me anymore when it became so clear that our time together was empty and useless. We might have as well played a game of cards. We were desperately trying to fill up the time. I was saving up chores to do for while they were here, but then being told that this wasn't necessary if I could do them myself. I felt that I had to keep them entertained while they were here. 

Well, I'm down to figuring things out for myself now. I feel perfectly capable of taking care of myself. Reducing my medication has made me much more stable and aware of things. I no longer feel lethargic and dull witted.

I'm looking forward to today. It will be a cold but partially sunny day. It will be nice weather to walk Tyke in. I hope he won't be too cold in his short coat. I do have the luxury of wearing my warm winter coat and gloves. 

I hope you all have a nice day.

Ciao,

Nora

Ma'am, it's not broken...

I'm sitting here in the afternoon with a cup of coffee and a cigarette and am enjoying the relative peace and quiet that reign. Outside the sun is periodically shining and it looks warmer than it actually is. Inside it is warm enough and I'm wearing an extra cardigan just to be on the safe side. I don't like to be the least bit chilled, as I am a creature of comfort. I don't do suffering very well and avoid it at all cost. I don't think it's necessary to the human condition.

I would like to be in charge of all the temperatures and make it comfortable everywhere, but then I really ought to go live in a sub-tropical climate. I would prefer that to a tropical climate where it would be too hot and humid. I wouldn't want to sweat all day and have to use a deodorant every ten minutes. It would be okay if I got to live by the blue sea and go swimming all day long, although I don't look good in a bikini, but that's nothing to worry about if you live by yourself in a shack on a lonely beach. You can go naked then.

I did enjoy living in a sub-tropical climate when I lived in California. I thought it was just perfect, except for the occasional heatwave. In the wintertime people were always worrying about getting chilled and wearing a jacket, while I thought the temperature was just lovely. I really liked the rainy season when the rain fell straight out of the sky in buckets. It wasn't cold and you could go outside and walk in it. It isn't like here where you freeze your buns off. 

Well, I don't have to worry about walking around and generally using my knee and bending it. It isn't broken. I knew ahead of time that it wasn't going to be, even though it does really hurt. At least I don't have to worry about damaging it when I use it. I can pretty much ignore the pain and do what I am able to. I have to call the doctor tomorrow and hear what she has to say about it. I assume that she will prescribe rest. 

In the meantime I do some limping and try to make myself as comfortable as possible. I'm not taking any painkillers. I don't think those are necessary. They can be hard on your stomach anyway. I feel more relaxed now about walking around and about taking Tyke out. I know I'm not hurting anything by doing so. All in all it's a big relief.

Tyke's decided he needs some attention. I'm alternately petting him and typing this. 

Have a great day!

Ciao,

Nora

A cow jumped over the moon...

I just had to mightily entertain Tyke for a while. He decided that he was bored and that he needed lots of attention. I must have petted him for half an hour, at least, that's what my arm feels like. I think he's been sufficiently entertained now, but you never know. He's like a little kid on any Sunday afternoon. There's nobody to play with and there's nothing on television. It's too bad that I can't read him stories. 

I made myself a pot of coffee and sat in my armchair for a long time doing absolutely nothing but letting my mind wander. That's a good thing to do on a Sunday. It's a good day for contemplation. You just have to make sure that you don't get carried away with it, so you mustn't think too deeply. They have to be light and entertaining thoughts as much as possible. You mustn't start thinking that you have problems, because they are nearly nonexistent in the grander scheme of things. 

It's a good idea to look around you and to see how other people live their lives and how they deal with the problems that come their way. You find out that you don't do too badly. As a matter of fact, you may be surprised at how well you do. It's a good time to throw overboard your own mythology and to start believing in yourself. It's good to know that you aren't one extreme or the other, but something in the middle where it is comfortable to be.

The afternoon is coming to an end and so is the weekend. It's been a nice time off with not much to show for it, but then that wasn't my intention. Every day that is successful is one I strike up for posterity. To have as many successful days as possible at the end will be my legacy. I don't aim to leave behind much more than that. Happiness is my goal, the form of which I'll recognize if I'm open minded enough. 

Tyke's sound asleep by my feet. I hardly know where to put them. I'm sitting here with twisted legs so as to not step on him. He likes to get as close as possible. Gandhi is asleep on the red fleece blanket on the sofa. That's been her spot all weekend. I'm going to fix dinner, I'm hungry. Some rice will do nicely. 

Have a good evening!

Ciao,

Nora

We all fall down...

It's early on a Sunday morning and I'm having my second cup of very delicious coffee. For some reason it turned out really well today, so I must have had the magic touch when I put the ground coffee into the filter. Maybe slightly carelessly scooping is the best way to do it, instead of carefully measuring each spoonful. I was in a hurry when I made the coffee, because I was impatient for a cup and I couldn't make it quick enough. 

Luckily, the coffeemaker gets done quickly and I had my nice hot cup of coffee in no time at all. It just seems to take a while when you're waiting, but that's when you have to find a way to amuse yourself instead. I did that by answering emails. That's usually the first thing I do in the morning, though I'm barely capable of it at first because of the cobwebs. I do manage to fake it until I make it, I think, because I go about it very slowly, unless the answers are very simple. 

I went to bed very early last night. I realized that I was grumpy because I was tired and in need of sleep. I had no patience left for anything or anybody. I made myself a glass of black berry milk and took that to bed with me and listened to the radio. I made sure that Tyke and I had some quality bonding time, which he was in need of, and in the shortest amount of time I was asleep. Gandhi was sleeping beside my pillows.

I suppose that yesterday was a perfectly uneventful day. I paid bills and got my paperwork in order and found out how poor I was. That's always good to know for the rest of the pay period. Then you know how much you have left to spend on groceries. God forbid that you should eat too much. 

I had planned to take a nap in the afternoon, but I never did get around to that. I suppose I wasn't sleepy enough and wanted to save whatever there was for the nighttime. I walked Tyke when he needed to get walked and sat behind the computer. I did some chores, but there weren't that many to do that were urgent and I will finish today what I didn't do yesterday. I have to put clean sheets on my bed and I do want to do that today to make going to bed tonight as pleasant as possible. 

Since today is Sunday, it's going to be another quiet day. There will be speed skating and other sports on television and I will watch them most likely. I also have to make sure I watch the news this morning. There were manifestations all over the country yesterday against the cultural budget cuts that the new government is planning against the will of many. I think the attempts to call a halt to it, though, are useless, because this government is ruthless.

It's going to be a cold day today. I just let Tyke out back and there was a cold wind blowing from the east. I was shivering in my bathrobe. Even Tyke thought it was cold and came back in in a hurry. It's only going to be 44F, but because of the wind, it's going to feel colder. It will be no fun to take Tyke out for walks today. I'm not looking forward to that. I do so dislike being in the cold wind. I will have to wear my North Pole coat. My leather jacket is not going to be warm enough. 

I've had enough coffee for this morning and have switched to milk with blackberry syrup. It's very delicious and filling too. It takes care of my sweet tooth at the same time. It does give me that little sugar high and it makes the milk more interesting to drink. It makes it last twice as long, because I don't gobble it down all at once. I take delicate sips, if you can imagine that. It's an excellent discovery and for that kind of milk you pay a relative fortune in the supermarket. 

I've got to take my medicines. It's that time of the morning again. I've had to play ball with Tyke while I wrote this. That involves a lot of wrestling to get it away from him. 

Have a good Sunday!

Ciao,

Nora