Before I take a nap...

I don't even know if I'm going to take a nap yet. It may be one way to get through a seemingly long and boring afternoon. I've already had a busy morning and there's nothing on the program for the rest of the day. I did get up early this morning before the sun had even gotten up properly. It was good to get an early start and walk the dog first thing once I was awake good and well. 

It was very cold this morning having gotten down to freezing during the night. Even in my winter coat I was not warm enough. There's a blustery wind blowing from the south, which is at least warmer than one blowing from the north. As usual, I can't get warm enough and am chilled down to my bones. I'm drinking hot coffee to get a little warmer but it hardly seems to help. I'm probably not carrying enough fat.

The Exfactor showed up first and was a welcome sight. I actually didn't need that many groceries but it was good to see his friendly face. He told me all about his long and cold weekend and his adventures on his motorcycle and all I could think was that I was glad that I wasn't on the back of it. I prefer comfort and warmth. Like sitting in a cozy car with the heater turned on. 

I made a short shopping list and asked him to be on the look out for a coffeemaker because I'm starting to long for real cups of coffee now. The Exfactor is usually in and out so many stores during the week that he is bound to run into one. The groceries were quickly done but I do have to eat one of the Greek yoghurts soon because the Exfactor accidentally poked his finger through the lid of one of them. That will be my mission for today then. 

My personal helper showed up next and we had a good time chatting about everything under the sun. She tells me many things she's not supposed to tell me and I have a good time listening to all her stories. Sometimes I fall out of my chair in amazement. I laugh at the ridiculousness of management and the silliness of bureaucracy. You wouldn't believe how bad it gets. I tell her that sometimes it sounds like she's in a very badly directed film. 

I've walked the dog for the second time and picked up the apartment. I have no laundry to do and no dishes to wash. I can't think of a thing to do. I've washed my hair and got it to look properly tousled again which was a bit of a job because it was so squeaky clean. I did have to put a lot of hairspray on it but now even this blustery wind can't destroy it. The only thing that would is a hurricane and I don't think we're about to have one. 

I've changed my clothes because I was too cold and because what I was wearing was tight and made my stomach stick out too much. I looked like I was several months pregnant and I'm too old for that. I can't get away with it. I'm wearing something a little more forgiving now. I have to remember to get more tops like this. I can't go around constantly holding in my stomach. I'm bound to forget and look silly. 

I've got to look for something to keep me occupied. How does a middle aged woman stay out of trouble? I can think of ways to get into trouble but they may not all be socially acceptable. 

Ciao,

Irene

Feeling my oats...

I'm really on my way to bed but temporarily got sidetracked about 30 minutes ago. I'm still planning on going there soon but I'll let myself be delayed for a little while longer. I'll pretend to not be in a hurry and that my bed is something I'm not looking forward to very much. That's only half true. I'll let you figure out which half is true. 

I'm also temporarily in a good enough mood. That's surprising because for the last few days I have been grumpy. I do want to take advanatge of this good mood and write a cheerful post even if I have not much to say. I very often have not much to say and somehow I manage to write a post anyway. That's when I write what is called a bunch of bull. 

I don't know why I have been grumpy these last few days. I'm getting enough sleep, so that's not the problem. I'm eating well, so I'm not going hungry. I don't smoke anymore, of course, but I'm still getting nicotine through the patches. I'm not going through withdrawal. I'm just grumpy for no apparent reason. 

I'm sure there is a cause but it's not clear to me. I would have to be deeply analyzed to find it out. I don't know if I want to make quite that much effort. I figure that sooner or later I'll get over being grumpy and be in a good mood again permanently or for as long as it lasts. Whichever comes first. 

I had bacon and eggs for dinner but it wasn't the deeply satisfying experience it should have been. I think this was because the eggs weren't biological eggs and they didn't taste as good. The yolks weren't nearly as tasty as they should have been. I opted for quantity over quality and regret it now, but you live and learn.

I think now that I can eat more normally, I will start eating open faced sandwiches again. I have a hunkering for chicken, lettuce, tomato and mayonaise on wheatbread.  That sounds absolutely delicious. I wish I had one right now. I will have to make a good shopping list on Tuesday. It's too bad that I have to wait until that time. 

Oh, I'm just having cravings now. It's that time of the evening again when I always get them. Normally I feel like eating ice cream. I better have a glass of ice cold milk. That will take care of it. 

When I feel cravings, it's time to go to bed. It will be fun to go in search of it, although it shouldn't be too hard to find. I'm already looking forward to getting under the warm duvet. Sleeping is wonderful. The moment of awakening is sheer bliss, even though it only lasts a second.

Have a good night. 

Ciao,

Nora

Daisies and cravings...

All this talk about rain in the forecast turned out to be a lot of poppycock. I think it drizzled one night. Tonight is a perfectly clear night and today is going to be a bright, sunshiny day. Showers had been predicted and nothing came of them at all. I could easily have hung up the laundry to dry outside.

At least the temperatures are nice for the time of year and that is most pleasant. You could say that we're having an Indian summer in November, although it is not as hot as all that. But sitting sheltered in the sun it feels warm and there are still kids playing outside without their jackets on.

There are a lot of perky daisies blooming in the fields right now despite the fact that the grass has been cut not too long ago. I always thought that daisies were little flowers, but since I have my varifocals. I'm surprised at the true size of them. There are also some dandelions still and some of the rosebushes in the communal flowerbeds are still blooming. They are a creamy yellow color. 

If you have a good look around, there's still enough to see. It's remembering to look that's the hard part. I'm always so busy paying attention to the dog when we walk, that sometimes I don't pay attention to my surroundings. I forget to look in people's gardens, while that is where the most interesting things are happening. I must try to pay better attention to the gardens today. 

I'm having a terrible craving for vanilla ice cream, so I will have to drink a glass of ice cold milk. The creamy yellow color of the roses made me think of vanilla pudding in it's purest form and that led to ice cream because I'm craving something smooth and cold. The Exfactor offered to buy me some when he last did the groceries, but I turned the offer down. I was afraid that I was going to eat it all at once, but now I wish I had some. 

But it would make me gain a kilo, so it's a good thing that I don't have any at all. It's the best solution.

Besides, I can be talked out of any kind of food if I have a glass of ice cold milk. It usually takes care of whatever craving I have. The whole trick is not to have those kinds of foods in the house in the first place. Luckily, I normally only have cravings during the night and not when I make the shopping list.

It's time for me to go to bed. Hopefully, when I next wake up it will be morning. There will be cultural programs on TV and then lots of sports. Speed skating I hope, although a bit of football will be alright too.

Have a good night you all. 

Ciao,

Nora

Singing in the rain...

I went out shopping today. I had it in my head that I was going to go to some discount stores and be successful and find some good loot, so that's what I did. I made sure I was dressed properly and that my hairdo was halfway presentable and got on my bike and rode it to the shopping center. 

It wasn't very cold outside, nevertheless, I wore my winter coat and my thick scarf and was toasty warm. I was only wearing one pair of thin leggings, but I didn't get cold legs, so I must be tougher than I think I am. Or it must help to keep certain parts of you extra warm, such as your feet and neck and arms. 

It's only a theory, of course. I know you are supposed to keep your head warm and I certainly don't do that with my short haircut and no hat. I have a hard enough time keeping my hair looking nice without ruining it with my snow hat. I must find a better hat and for that I'll have to go to the department stores downtown where they have a large collection of hats to choose from. 

Anyway...I went to the textiles shop first where they have wonderful discounts and the first thing I spotted was underwear. Good cotton ones with a little bit of stretch in black. Four of them into the basket. A pair of gray leggings, also into the basket. A powder blue top with a cowl neck for 4.99, into the basket. My favorite deodorant on sale, two cans and you know where they went... I checked out a lot of other things, but they were not deemed good enough buys to go home with me, so I went to the cash register and paid a ridiculously small amount of money for my purchases. 

Then I went to the drugstore and made my way to the discount aisle. The bins were a bit of a mess and I had to poke around very well, but I did come up with a couple of items. A black scarf, which I didn't have yet, a black cardigan, which was packaged and which turned out to be much too small when I got it home, but I will give it to my much skinnier sister, 3 pairs of stud earrings that look like they're silver, but luckily are not because I'm allergic to silver, and to top it all off, I got Tyke 4 small containers of chicken and rice dog food. Oh yes, I also got 2 candy bars. 

When I got outside, I saw that it had rained and my bike was soaking wet, but that didn't matter because I went into the fashion shop next door where I saw a neat pair of boots on sale for 15 Euros, but not in my size. I also saw scarves there, but noticed that they were very delicate and that they would have runs in them in the shortest amount of time and they weren't worth the money. So, I left empty handed from there.

I rode my wet bike home and just as I got there, it started to rain and it hasn't stopped yet, so I was just on time. Tyke just about tore the bags out of my hands thinking rightly so that there was something in there for him, but I let Gandhi have some of the food too because she likes that stuff very much, even though too much of it makes her barf. Tyke loved it and had two portions of it and seemed like he was a happy dog. I ate my candy bars and was a happy woman.

And now I've got to go lie down for a little while because I'm tired. I've only had one tranquilizer so far today, so that can't be it. I must just be tired. I'll go lie down on the sofa with the red fleece blanket over me, nice and cozy. 

Hav a good rest of the day!

Ciao,
Nora

Forget-me-nots.

 I found it impossible to write a cheerful post here yesterday. I tried it a few times but it was to no avail. Each time I got maybe one paragraph done and that was it. Then I sat and pondered the screen for a while until my screen saver came on and I knew nothing would come of the post I had planned to write. I was just not cheerful enough. I was mostly sleepy and took naps on the sofa and in bed. Actually, taking naps is a good thing when your mood is not co-operating. It is the best way to see you through it.

It was cold out and I couldn't get warm enough inside either, although the thermometer said it was 20C degrees. At one point, I wore my bathrobe over my clothes to get warm. I think I can't quite trust my thermometer. I have all the windows closed now and sometimes turn on the heater, though I try to be frugal with it and only turn it on if it's absolutely necessary. I doesn't help to sit here and have cold drinks. They cool off your whole body. I must remember to buy stuff to make hot chocolate with. That would be wonderful. I think I've already promised myself that before and forgot about it. I must put it on the shopping list.

Today is Sunday and a wonderful day to contemplate my navel and to sit and do nothing special at all, although I do have to get dressed to walk Tyke. I slept for 7 hours this morning, after I had gotten up in the middle of the night, and I feel very refreshed. I must try to go to bed quicker and get more sleep in. I don't always have the luxury of staying in bed so late, people do come and go during the week. I will make it a point to only stay up for a little while during the night and go back to bed sooner.

I have so many good intentions and then a lot of them fall by the wayside or only get halfway accomplished. I make them work to some point, at any rate to a point that I can live with them and be somewhat comfortable, but never to the point that they are perfectly worked out. There are always loose ends and unattained goals. I suppose that's my modus operandus. I live with them until I reach the point where I can't and I should have had a better system in place that would have supported me better.

I just got dressed and took Tyke out. It is cold outside and you really need gloves. It's 6C degrees and overcast. Still, there are people out for a Sunday stroll with their kids. You do have to get some fresh air on a Sunday. That's what the day is for. I remember that clearly from when I was a kid. We always went out for an afternoon stroll on Sundays. Sometimes we had a goal and sometimes we didn't. Usually it was some café to get a drink at. Tea or hot chocolate when it was cold. A cold soda when it was warm. And a beer for my father. Always a beer. He was a repressed alcoholic. In the closet, where my mother kept him by sheer willpower.

I remember my mother hitting my head once when we came home from one of these walks. I was standing on the door mat and she hit my head for not wiping my feet. My head hit the head of my cousin who stood next to me very hard. It was so demeaning. My mother didn't like me very much. I'll never forget that incident. It was a perfect example of her taking out her frustrations on me, the black sheep.

I mustn't get too bogged down in those memories. They are interesting to hold to the light, but I mustn't get lost in them. There is the here and now, today.

It's time for me to get something to eat. I'm starting to yawn from hunger and I'm getting cold too. I do think I should turn up the heater a bit now. I think I'll have a glass of warm milk to heat my old bones and raid the refrigerator for some protein.

Have a good evening!

Ciao,
Nora