Give me a hip flask...

My activities today consisted of taking the dog for a few walks and hanging out behind the computer where I fined tuned the looks of the layouts of my blogs. Oh yes, I also folded and put away some laundry. I did all of this under the influence of doses on tranquilizers which allowed me to remain calm and serene and which kept away the unwelcome presence of the black dog. 

While I was doing these activities, I was oblivious of nearly everything around me and that was the whole purpose behind the exercise because I didn't want to be aware of my surroundings. I was tuning out everything as much as possible and it didn't take a lot of effort. Sometimes I'm very good at ignoring the things that need attention in my life, especially when under the influence of tranquilizers. At least I didn't completely neglect the dog.

It took me a while to get the blogs to look right and I switched things around quite a few times before I was satisfied. Now everything is in the abstract and it has meaning only to me. It doesn't matter as long as I understand it. You'll have to bear with me while I do and you don't. Maybe I'll explain it to you one day when I'm not so tired. I've just made some coffee so that I will perk up again a little bit. Watch me climb in the saddle again any moment now. 

I didn't realize how worn out I was until just now. I've been going nonstop all day. After I'm done writing this, I will put on my pajamas and go straight to bed. I won't even stay up to watch the thriller that's going to be on. They'll have to solve their case without me tonight. 

I'm so tired that I can't even tell you what mood I'm in. There must have been a reason for all my mad activity today. If you get exhausted enough you have no energy left to figure out your state of mind. You're just tired. I have to plan my day differently tomorrow and add in some periods of rest and meditation. I've had no moment to think straight today or to cuddle with the dog. 

He's had to entertain himself with the cat who doesn't mind that one bit. She was especially loving today and seeking attention and there was a lot of mutual nose rubbing going on on the dining table where they watched the world go by. That didn't escape my attention. 

I feel like I've been on a long journey and I'm now coming home. I've been far away all the way to the edge of my world and back again. I've not been in touch with reality and the home front. Hopefully this journey has helped me get back to normal. I'll know after I've been asleep. 

Have a good night, you all.

Ciao,

Nora

English tea...

I'm having a pot of ordinary tea (it is called English tea) and it's not keeping me awake. I sat here reading blogs and I was slowly drifting off to sleep in my chair. "Well, go to bed then," I hear you all say, but I don't quite want to do that yet. I want to sit here in a stupor and see if I can write a post first while I break out into a sweat from the effort. 

Oh right, that may be from the hot tea. It does taste very nice and I hoped that whatever caffeine was in it would keep me awake, but it doesn't quite work like that, I guess. There is a difference between coffee and ordinary tea, apparently.

It did get me over the grumpiness that I felt when I had just gotten up. I'm grateful for that because that's the one big reason why I drink the coffee. It's to alter my mood, but the tea seems to have done the job too. I do have to say that I make strong tea. It is almost black and the sugar makes it sweet. Strong, sweet tea. Isn't that supposed to cure what ails you? 

Darn, it's hard to stay awake. I have to try and think of something interesting. It's hard to do when only some parts of your brain are functioning and others are in sleep mode. Maybe I can wake them up with a glass of ice cold milk. Sort of shock them into alertness. It's worth a try. 

I didn't stay up to watch 'Midsomer Murders' last night. I was too tired and went to bed early. That's because I didn't have my afternoon nap. Middle aged women like I do need their beauty sleep. I'll even miss a good thriller for that. 

I just let the dog out back and stood outside in the cold night air. There was a pleasant wind blowing and it cooled me off quite nicely.Now I'll appreciate getting under the duvet all the more. 

It's time to go back to bed, although I've stopped yawning and am alert again. The cold milk worked. Well, up to a point it did. I am somewhat looking forward to going back to sleep. I do know that I need at least several more hours. 

I hope you're all having a good night.

Ciao,

Nora

Catch up...

I had told myself that I couldn't spend any time behind the computer during daylight hours. This was to control the amount of time I spent behind it and the amount of drivel I wrote in my posts. I figured with the amount of sleeping that I was doing in the nighttime hours now, that would put a severe cramp on my style, but I hadn't counted on the odd night that I would wake up early and sit here anyway, just like I used to. 

I woke up because of a long fit of coughing from acid reflux that was due to my gastric band. Sometimes that happens if I've eaten just a little bit too much during dinner. It's very irritating and doesn't stop until I've gotten up and due to gravity everything has settled down again. Having something to drink helps too. 

It puts a dent in my sleeping pattern, but I don't mind being up that much once the coughing stops. It does give me a chance to sit behind the computer since I can't during the day, or so I've told myself. I really have to find other ways to amuse myself during the day and get over the habit of automatically turning on the computer the moment I think I have nothing better to do and, most importantly, writing one unnecessary post after the other.

I find that I'm much more relaxed during the day if I'm not constantly turning on the computer and writing posts. It's much better if the whole notion is out of my head. I'm not neurotically sitting down explaining every detail of my life, which I have a tendency to do in order to try to be amusing. That way everything becomes scrutinized and I feel that my whole life is up for judgment. That's my own fault, of course. I make it that way. I know I can be much more enigmatic than that and that everything doesn't need to be explained into the minutest detail.

I do miss out on reading other blogs and leaving comments and that's something I'm going to have to rectify tonight while I have the chance. It's worth the missing hours of sleep, which I'll catch up on anyway in the morning. Sometimes It's okay to be up in the middle of the night, providing you get enough sleep later and you don't make a habit out of it like I had. I find that if I sleep well during the night, I do much better during the day. But I do want to visit my blogging buddies. I don't want them to think I have forsaken them. 

So, without much further ado, that's what I'll go do now. I hope you're all sound asleep or if not, that you're having a pleasant evening, whichever timezone you're in. 

Ciao,

Nora

Alone in the evening...

Having established that I have some kind of a bug, and that I am somewhat under the weather, I took an aspirin for my aches and pains and decided to be extra kind for myself. The aspirin is not working. I may as well have not taken anything, but you can't say I didn't try. I still ache all over, but maybe it's old age and I'm just now aware of it.

Maybe this is aches and pains and age awareness day. I'll try to have it made official and have it put on the calender. I really think that achy middle aged people need the recognition and that we should not hide our pain under a rock. Once you start to pay attention to your body, you realize you hurt all over, even down to your feet. It would be a shame not to get a day in the spotlight for that. I think we deserve it. We would be able to bitch and complain all day long.

No, besides having my usual aches and pains, I really do think I'm a bit under the weather, because I have a sore throat and a headache also and the aspirin did help those a bit. They're not as bad as they were, but I don't know if it's worth taking the aspirin for. It doesn't make that much difference. I'm not going: hallelujah, I'm feeling so much better now. 

I already showed these on my other blog, but these are the boots I ordered from Scapino that look like Ugg boots. They have a lining in them and are bound to be warm. They have profiled soles, which I hope will help me walk on the icy streets and sidewalks that may be clear of ice soon, because it's supposed to rain tomorrow and Sunday, which will make these boots unnecessary. Nevertheless, winter isn't over yet and no doubt I will need them later this season.

I am, once again, thrilled that it's the weekend. Will I never learn my lesson? I look forward to the unstructured time, while I know that can be a pitfall for me. I'm going to spend it being sick, or not and I'm going to feel great and enjoy the time in between showers and take Tyke for walks and avoid the slush that will be in the streets. 

The wind will come from the south west, so it will not be too cold. Ha, I'm an optimist. It's going to be 3 degrees Celsius and feel like minus 4. There's going to be a mix of rain and snow. I just looked it up. Well, I don't know what to make of that. Will the rain melt the snow or not? How curious! I can't wait for tomorrow. 

I've just gotten myself another cup of coffee. My attention was starting to wane a little bit. I need to be a bit more alert when I write a post. I can't sit here with a half awake head steeped in other thoughts than what I'm supposed to be paying attention to. It is very crucial to stick to the matters at hand. 

My personal helper did get here yesterday. She took the bus from her home in the hills into town and then walked to where she had to be. She was completely dressed for the snow and the cold and I had her thaw out first with a cup of coffee. She had to peel off layers of clothes and we thawed out her boots on a towel in the hallway by the radiator. She had to see clients in outlying villages after she saw me and had to walk to a bus stop to take the bus there. She had to leave here on time to get there, the poor thing.

I walked to the tobacco shop afterwards and discovered clean streets and fairly clean sidewalks where the city had sprinkled salt on the roads and the people had done the same on their parts of the sidewalk. It wasn't perfect, but nearly so. It did make me feel a lot safer, because although I was wearing my hiking boots, they didn't keep me from slipping the way I had hoped. They were pretty clunky as a matter of fact and I did not feel at all gracious in them. They never did bring me much comfort.

Tyke's finally settled down. He's gone sound asleep beside me. He did keep himself busy with all sorts of activities, including investigating why Gandhi was so fascinated with an empty cardboard box and he thought maybe he ought to be also. He did try to get into it, but was unsuccessful and it fell over, much to his surprise. Young dogs are so clumsy, especially when you compare them to cats.  Tyke's always knocking over things or bumping into them. It's amazing that he hasn't given himself multiple concussions yet when he chases his ball. He never even seems dazed by that. He's got a hard head. 

Gandhi is sound asleep on the sofa. She's tucked in like a hand muff. She's got a compact fluffy shape. She's such a good cat. She doesn't have a bad bone in her body. I hope she lives for a very long time.  I think she is nine years old now. I'll have to check her passport. 

No, she is not going to be nine until April next year. People always think she is a lot younger, though. Tyke is going to be 21 months old tomorrow. I'll buy him a cupcake for his 2nd birthday.

Well, that's it for me. I've got to read some blogs until I get tired enough to go to bed. 

Have a good night!

Ciao,

Nora

According to the polls...

The polls are closed and when I let myself be guided by the results, I have to conclude that the overwhelming majority of you want me to keep writing all my blogs. I think that is okay with me, though I don't know if I will write in all of them every day, because not all of them are equal favorites of mine. Some of them are stepchildren and some of them are visited by very few people. 

Some of them aren't commented on because they are read in readers, which I tried this afternoon in the Google Reader and which is a very impersonal way to read blogs, I think. It doesn't allow you to comment and I don't think you show up in the statistics. It takes the interaction out of blog reading. 

So, I will remove the polls from the blogs shortly, after you've all had a look at them and maybe make up a new poll. I have to think about that. I have to think of one that's inoffensive to everyone, yet controversial enough for people to want to vote in. 

It's starting to be late in the afternoon and pretty dark in here. The rain has stopped falling for now, but there are still lots of rain clouds up there in the sky. I like how cozy it is right now and for a change am not bothered at all by the time of day. I used to think this was such an undetermined time in which the day couldn't make up its mind as to what it was, afternoon or evening. It was a toss up. Right now it seems like it doesn't matter and the darkness closing in is welcome. It will bring peace and quiet. 

I am determined to enjoy the evening as much as possible. It is Sunday, after all, and I want to make the most of what is left of the weekend. These are my last free hours. My God, that sounds as if I have a tough job to go to tomorrow. I guess that's how I look at the weekdays, as tough days that need to get lived through, when it is really the weekends that are the hardest. I do have to get that straight for myself and not live under illusions. I can't keep fooling myself about that. 

Nevertheless, I will enjoy the evening, but it is a fact, of course, that I should enjoy every evening, no matter which day it is and not just relegate that feeling to the weekends. There's no rule that says that you can't enjoy the weekdays. It seems to me that those are not bad days at all. It's some kind of myth I'm living with that the weekends are better days, when in fact I don't experience them that way at all. Let's do some myth busting here right away. If you catch me saying, "Thank God it's the weekend!" again, you can call me on it and tell me I'm very confused. 

Tomorrow morning at 10 o'clock my personal helper is going to be here for an hour. That will be just enough time for a shower and a chat and to walk the dog if we do everything in a hurry. That's all the time she's got. I hope the Exfactor can come, because I'm out of a lot of things and was not able to go to the supermarket on Saturday. He said he would be here on Tuesday, but I hope I can change his mind. I've sent him an email and will keep my fingers crossed. 

My coffee has grown cold and old and I can't drink it anymore. It's time to switch to drinking juice. I've just taken my medicines and need to walk the dog again. The weather forecast is so confused, that it shows sun with partial cloudiness while it is pitch dark outside. That gives you a lot of confidence, doesn't it? 

Have a good evening!

Ciao,
Nora

Moving around endlessly...

After not having slept all night, I did manage to sleep for a few hours on the sofa this afternoon, because I was running out of steam and my body had to catch up with my mind that was working overtime. I didn't want to go to sleep and I fought it, but I had no other option, otherwise I would have fallen asleep behind the computer with my head on the keyboard and that leaves nasty marks on your face. 

I very dutifully laid down on the sofa and made myself go to sleep and woke up about two hours later. I made myself some coffee and slowly came to my senses, though I think I may have written a post before I completely had my wits about me. That will make for interesting reading too. It may boggle your mind, as it boggled mine when I read it later. I thought, now what in the world was I talking about? Is this woman quite in her right mind? Is there a screw loose maybe? Does something need to be fastened? 

See, I make fun of myself so you can't ahead of me. We can laugh together anyway. It is better than feeling embarrassed. I've always got to make fun of myself when I think I'm in danger of having made a blunder. I read an article about that in a woman's magazine today. The best way to deal with a blunder is to laugh about it yourself and to not take it too seriously, as long as you learn a lesson from it so you won't repeat it. I think that is good advice. 

I'm try to keep all my blogs straight and update the one that I wrote in the longest time ago. I try not to repeat myself, but write something new wherever I am. God forbid someone should actually read all 5 blogs, although I think it's not possible. I don't want to write the same story in all 5 blogs so I aim for variety. I mustn't fall into repeats, though the temptation is there at times and sometimes I will and there will be overlap. It's hard to be completely original all the time. Even the greatest diarists couldn't have done it. 

It's great when your mind is full of ideas and curiosity and goodwill and words and deeds and points of view to get across. but your body has to co-operate too. I wish I was a teenager with the endless energy of one and the capacity to sleep until noon the next day. I feel that I have so much I want to say, but I'm sluggish and I really am dragging my body through the day more than I'm willing to admit. I don't want to go to sleep, though, because I would be afraid that I would miss out on something fun that I could do. Sooner or later I have to go to bed for real, in my pajamas and under the duvet. I must try to get some sleep, even if it is only for a few hours. 

It's funny, but when I opened up ' The Choppy Sunflower' blog, there were immediate comments, as if people had been waiting for me to return and it was the most normal thing in the world that I did. There was no mention really of my long absence. I thought everybody would have forgotten me by now, but apparently that is not true. I do have followers wherever I go. It's not a multitude, but there are some people out there.

Oh hallelujah, my medicines have just started to work and I feel so much better now. What a relief that is. I was wondering if I was going to notice anything in this state of mind. I did feel a certain amount of stress that I wanted to get rid off. 

I was just out walking Tyke when we ran into the Yorkshire Terrier puppy that was also being walked. He was so enthused, that within the shortest amount of time our leashes and the fringe of my scarf had become completely entangled and we couldn't get it undone. We had to let the dogs off the leashes and mess around for a good 5 minutes before we got everything disentangled. It was actually pretty hilarious and the dogs had a good time. Tyke likes being off the leash and doesn't go anywhere. He's completely fascinated with that puppy, as he likes all puppies. I'll have to let him off the leash there more often when the other dogs are out and let him have a good run around.

Well, that's it for me for now. I wonder what I'm going to do next? How will I get through the rest of the evening? What stunts can I think of? 

Ciao,
Nora