It's tomorrow already...

I'm sitting here with a cup of coffee and a cigarette wasting my time. I should be asleep and I had vowed that I would be, but I woke up nevertheless. Never one to miss an opportunity, I'm writing a post, of course. What else is there to do in the middle of the night? 

I have to wait until I get sleepy again and it may take some time and that's not because I had the coffee. I will sleep regardless of it. I just have to get into the proper mindset to go to sleep again. I have to long for my bed and I'm not there yet. 

I am yawning, so that's a good sign. I have a tear rolling down my cheek. As a matter of fact, I'm yawning so hard that I have to be careful not to dislocate my jaw.

I can't take myself seriously right now and I feel that anything I write will be nonsense. That's because I don't want to write about anything serious. I want to leave all those subjects alone. I only want to write about things that don't matter, like about how good the coffee tastes and how good that glass of milk is going to taste that I'm going to have in a minute. 

I feel like having a banana split with a huge dollop of whipped cream on top. Real whipped cream, not the kind that comes from a can. Some ice cream would taste real good right now. Vanilla with real bits of vanilla bean in it. I will make myself happy with the cold milk instead. That's almost as good. 

It rained all day yesterday which made it cozy to be inside, but I did have to turn the lights on and I had the heater on too later in the day. I even wore warm clothes. My mood went from bad to worse and I slept all afternoon, which made me feel better. Sleep always restores me. It bans bad thoughts. 

I've got to go back to bed and sleep as long as I possibly can. I have to set some kind of record. I mustn't be fooled into getting up in a few hours. I must stay in bed and sleep. 

Have a good night.

Ciao,

Nora

And all the kings's men...

It's, as usual, in the middle of the night again, or to put it optimistically, very early in the morning. Let's just say it is the latter, that sounds a lot better. It doesn't sound so desperately lonely and desolate as in the middle of the night, though that doesn't bother me at all. Well, I say that, but that may not be the complete truth. Maybe I do feel just a bit lonely and desolate in the middle of the night after all.

So, let's just say it is early in the morning. The time you would get up to catch an early intercontinental flight leaving from Amsterdam. That's a few hours drive from here, so you have to calculate that into your travel time. You drink lots of coffee to get your head on straight an to wake up properly, like I am doing right now. I'm only working on my first cup, though, having downed some glasses of milk first. 

The coffee tastes good as usual, I made it strong. I need for it to be strong because I'm yawning. I'm not quite awake yet, though I could have sworn that I was when I got up. I was fooled by Mother Nature. She led me to believe I was bright eyed and bushy tailed when in fact I was not. That was just a first impression. It's too late to go back to bed now, because I am in my waking up mode and not at all in the mood to go back to bed. It's not calling my name at the moment. It may in a while from now. 

I'm so tired still, that the feeling of free floating anxiety hasn't even attached itself to me yet as it has for the last couple of days. So this is the solution to it then. Make sure you're tired and nothing can hurt you. I think I had already figured that one out and that's why I was sleeping so much. Sleep is a defense mechanism too. It prevents overload. 

I just dislocated my jaw on both sides, but by staying calm, I managed to get it back in. I was yawning, that's how it happened. It's painful now, but everything is back in place. I'll have to be careful from this point forward, because this has happened in the past when I couldn't get it back in place. It was a little bit scary. 

Well, that certainly woke me up. The sheer shock of it. I've taken a paracetamol with codeine for the pain. I better yawn very carefully now. 

I think I had better go back to bed now before I start yawning anymore. It's probably time to go back to sleep. I'll take my medicines and set the alarm clock for late this morning. 

Have a good morning.

Ciao,

Nora