It's clear that I feel the need to write a post and you may ask yourself why when I have written one not such a long time ago. It's obvious, of course, I like to see my thoughts reflected back to me in black and white. It makes me feel that I really exist. Without the act of putting down my thoughts in a structured form, they would not take on any real meaning and would not become as clear to me.
This is really a way of thinking out loud and giving shape to what is yet unformed in my head. The best thing about writing them down is rereading them and gaining understanding. I reread them immediately and some time later down the line when I have forgotten them and can be pleasantly surprised again. They usually offer some insight into the way I rationalize my behavior and think things through. It's a way of analyzing myself.
I read between the lines and remember whatever was important to me at the time and what sort of mood I was in and what I didn't put down. My memory does not forsake me yet. I'm carried back instantly to the time I wrote it. Whole scenarios play themselves out in front of my eyes. Luckily, lately there's not been a lot of drama.
The end of drama came with the end of my marriage so there has been no drama for almost four years, except for the occasianl bout. Those occur less and less frequently as I slowly normalize. If the word exists, it is possible to become it so I want no arguments about that.
Speaking of exes, the Exfactor will not be able to go grocery shopping today so I will have to go without Greek yoghurt and bananas and vanilla pudding. That is a hardship that I had not counted on. I had planned everything down to this very day. I will have to eat different foods today and those are whatever is left in the cupboards and the refrigerator. I'm sure I'll manage but it won't be as exciting. I've got enough milk anyway and enough instant coffee.
I haven't gotten my new telephone number in the mail yet so officially I can't make any phone calls. Of course I've got my mobile phone so I'm not cut off from the world conpletely. I had memorized my other number really well and hope the new one is equally easy to remember. I'm going to be very careful about who I give it to. Few people will have it. If I had known it was going to be such a problem having a land line, I wouldn't have done it. Now I'm stuck with the consequences.
It's time for me to drink some buttermilk. It's the first glass I'm going to have. I look forward to it very much and I hope it's a s good as I remember it. It's been in the refrigerator for a couple of days and so far I've been able to resist it. It should be very thirst quenching anyway. Hmmm...that reminds me of buttermilk pancakes!
I hope you all had a good night.
Ciao,
Irene
