No photos...

It's about time that I write a post for this poor neglected blog. It's been a while since I turned my attention to it. It's a perfect time to do so because it's late in the afternoon on a Friday and I have just walked the dog and have nothing pressing left to do. I always plan it that way and luckily (or not) I don't have a family to cook dinner for. I suppose it would make me happy if I had a really nice family and a really nice kitchen and enough food in the refrigerator to cook dinner with. But in my wildest fantasies I am rich so it would be no problem. 

Unfortunately, I never buy any lottery tickets so the chances of me becoming rich are very small if not non-existant. I don't know if I should be like all the other optimistic people and buy them. I have a feeling that I would never win anything because I am never lucky when it comes to those kinds of things. It would probably just end up costing me precious money. I'm going to have to marry a millionaire. But who would have me? I am past my prime, after all. 

I better start thinking more cheerful thoughts. It's no good to sit here and face that sort of reality too much, it might depress me and I'm not in the mood for that. Let's talk about the weather instead and I'll tell you that it's done with the sunshine and that it's been gloomy all day. It hasn't bothered my outlook on life and I've kept my chin up helped by numerous cups of coffee. I needed those because I got up too early this morning and had a shortage of sleep all day. The caffeine kept me going. 

The domestic help was here and the Exfactor, so I didn't get a chance to take a nap but I hope I'll sleep all the better tonight. I'll be a good dog owner and walk the dog one more time before I go to bed. That is instead of letting him do a piddle out back which I normally do. I'm usually not in the mood to go out anymore at night and most of all want to put my pajamas and my bathrobe on as quickly as possible. Maybe the fresh air will do me some good and help me sleep extra well. It doesn't get dark until 10:30 pm, so I'll be safe from the bad guys.

Have a good night.

Ciao,
Irene

Some rainy Tuesday again...

The title speaks for itself. It's one of those cold wet days on which you want to stay inside and hibernate. However, there is the dog to walk and fresh air to inhale and some exercise to be got. Those things need to happen too. Thank goodness for that because it would be a bad thing for me if I didn't get outside at all. I think I must always have a dog to take out or else I would become a recluse. First I needed children and now I need a dog. Living alone can be bad for an introvert. 

The dog and I did get rained on but we didn't mind it too much because it was the beginning of a shower and we were almost home. The worst of it came down when we were already inside. The bad thing about wearing glasses is that they do get splatters on them when it rains and you really need little windshield wipers on them to get them clean. Your vision is somewhat obscured when you walk in the rain and the wind is coming at you. It does make your walk more adventurous. 

I'm not now bothered anymore by the fact that I've quit the tranquilizers. I was a little bit this morning but I think it was mostly because I hadn't had enough sleep. That made me feel slightly off balance and a little wary about the whole thing. I took a long nap later and woke up feeling a lot better. I think I just needed the sleep. I will assume that I will have no other after effects from having quit them and that all will go well. I've got the right attitude anyway and I can't be tempted to take a tranquilizer because there aren't any left. 

I've got to go and get something to eat before the news comes on. It will be all bad news but at least I will be informed. 

Have a good evening.

Ciao,

Irene

The weekend...

Having established that I'm slightly depressed, I don't feel that I have to keep up appearances and put on a cheerful face. The timing of it is actually good because I can spend this weekend nurturing it and taking care of myself in the best possible way. That means not taking on anything that requires a lot of effort or that can cause any stress. It's my intention to indulge myself and only do things that make me feel as comfortable as possible. 

Although I said before that I was maybe not in need of a lot of sleep, it's something that I do want to do my share of and I think it may be one of the ways to spend my time pleasantly. I'll have to see how that develops. It's possible that the naps I imagine I'm going to take are actually not going to happen at all. Then I'll have to find other ways to pass the time as pleasantly as possible. It's pretty much up to me, whatever I think works. 

It's fairly early in the morning and I'm planning on going back to bed shortly. It is Saturday after all and I have no obligations other than taking care of the animals. I like the unstructured way I'll be able to spend the day. I don't know why I only have that feeling on the weekends because nothing prevents me from having it during the week. I suppose it being the weekend makes it more official and allowable. It's as if it is sanctioned by law. 

It was raining earlier and that made it very cozy to be inside. For a minute there was a bit of a deluge but it soon eased up again. It's supposed to rain off and on for the rest of the day so it's perfect to stay home. There's not going to be any better weather ahead until the end of next week. That's a long time to deal with rain and low temperartures.

I must not fall into the trap of thinking I have to fullfill some special duty today. Already I'm trying to justify my existence. All I have to do is just be and get through the day in one piece.

I hope you'll all have a great day.

Ciao,

Irene

Hurray!

This morning I had to take the dog for a half hour walk to the trim salon. Some of that walk was a bit uphill. I had mentally prepared myself to make it knowing that it was going to wear me out because I try to walk at a steady pace. The sun was shining and there was again a blustery wind. Even though the dog tried to dawdle along the way, we made it in half an hour and I only had to rest for a few minutes before I was ready to make the walk home again. 

Once I got home, I was a little bit sore in some areas of my body and I took a painkiller to prevent worse. Then I drank a couple of glasses of milk while I rested up in my armchair. I made sure I didn't slouch but that my back was supported well because that's where my problems seem to start when I walk a distance. An hour later I got myself together and walked the half hour back to the trim salon. 

When I got there, the dog saw me through the glass front door and went nuts. He tried to dig a hole through it to get to me. Needless to say, I got quite an emotional welcome once I was inside. The dog was quite beside himself with joy and he was more than ready to go home which we did leisurely and it took us forty minutes.

The cat was waiting for us behind the front door and was seemingly very happy to see the dog. The dog was happy to be home. He was quite wound up from his adventure and I had to settle him down by petting him for a long time and speaking to him gently. He's now sound asleep in the armchair but ever so alert to my every move. I can't do anything without him waking up and coming over to investigate. 

He does look very good with his short fur and when he walks, his short trimmed nails make a tip tap sound on the linoleum. It sounds very funny, as if he is a little lady walking on her high heels.

The Exfactor had brought me the new coffeemaker on his way to work, which was really out of the way and very kind of him, so I could finally make some decent coffee. Let me tell you something, it tastes great. I didn't know what I'd been missing. I've seldom enjoyed a cup of coffee as much as I enjoyed that first cup and I need not have worried about my coffee making skills, they are intact.

Now I've got to take a nap. I'm slightly tired and my feet hurt. I really don't have the proper footwear to go for longer walks in, at least not at a steady pace. I must investigate how much a pair of good sport shoes cost. My feet need more support. 

Have a good day.

Ciao,

Irene

Before I take a nap...

I don't even know if I'm going to take a nap yet. It may be one way to get through a seemingly long and boring afternoon. I've already had a busy morning and there's nothing on the program for the rest of the day. I did get up early this morning before the sun had even gotten up properly. It was good to get an early start and walk the dog first thing once I was awake good and well. 

It was very cold this morning having gotten down to freezing during the night. Even in my winter coat I was not warm enough. There's a blustery wind blowing from the south, which is at least warmer than one blowing from the north. As usual, I can't get warm enough and am chilled down to my bones. I'm drinking hot coffee to get a little warmer but it hardly seems to help. I'm probably not carrying enough fat.

The Exfactor showed up first and was a welcome sight. I actually didn't need that many groceries but it was good to see his friendly face. He told me all about his long and cold weekend and his adventures on his motorcycle and all I could think was that I was glad that I wasn't on the back of it. I prefer comfort and warmth. Like sitting in a cozy car with the heater turned on. 

I made a short shopping list and asked him to be on the look out for a coffeemaker because I'm starting to long for real cups of coffee now. The Exfactor is usually in and out so many stores during the week that he is bound to run into one. The groceries were quickly done but I do have to eat one of the Greek yoghurts soon because the Exfactor accidentally poked his finger through the lid of one of them. That will be my mission for today then. 

My personal helper showed up next and we had a good time chatting about everything under the sun. She tells me many things she's not supposed to tell me and I have a good time listening to all her stories. Sometimes I fall out of my chair in amazement. I laugh at the ridiculousness of management and the silliness of bureaucracy. You wouldn't believe how bad it gets. I tell her that sometimes it sounds like she's in a very badly directed film. 

I've walked the dog for the second time and picked up the apartment. I have no laundry to do and no dishes to wash. I can't think of a thing to do. I've washed my hair and got it to look properly tousled again which was a bit of a job because it was so squeaky clean. I did have to put a lot of hairspray on it but now even this blustery wind can't destroy it. The only thing that would is a hurricane and I don't think we're about to have one. 

I've changed my clothes because I was too cold and because what I was wearing was tight and made my stomach stick out too much. I looked like I was several months pregnant and I'm too old for that. I can't get away with it. I'm wearing something a little more forgiving now. I have to remember to get more tops like this. I can't go around constantly holding in my stomach. I'm bound to forget and look silly. 

I've got to look for something to keep me occupied. How does a middle aged woman stay out of trouble? I can think of ways to get into trouble but they may not all be socially acceptable. 

Ciao,

Irene

Nice and mellow...

It's how I feel right now because I've managed to take a five hour long nap on the sofa. I must have needed it badly for me to sleep for such a long time. Now that I'm awake again, I don't feel the need for a cup of coffee. I want stay in this mellow mood that I've got for a while longer. I'm still yawning and somewhat muddleheaded, but that's okay with me right now. 

I've managed to drink a whole glass of milk without getting too much of an upset stomach so that is world news. My stomach is unpredictable territory and I never know what is going to agree with it. It differs from one day to the next, but I have to say that I am happy when I get to drink a glass of ice cold milk. That's a treat I hate to do without. 

It has rained while I was asleep and the water is still dripping from the gutter out back. I let the dog out there and he got wet from plowing through the bushes. The cat very gently walked around them. The dog has no such sensibilities. Of course he's protected by a thick coat of fur and the drops of water don't bother him. He still does need to get a proper trim. 

I've changed my mind about the cup of coffee because I was a bit too mellow and could not gather my thoughts at all. I've made a pot of coffee in the meanwhile and am drinking a cup now. It has, as if by a miracle, cleared the cobwebs from my head. I can now think properly and make some sense. I was thinking in slow motion before. It was as if I was moving through molasses. 

Now that I've got a second lease on life, I can tell you that I'm in a good mood and that I'm looking forward to the rest of the day, short as it is since I spent most of it asleep. That was really wonderful and I must make sure that I spend more time sleeping and get all of it done before my older sister gets here. I have to catch up on whatever I'm short on. There will be less time to do that when she is here.

There's nothing as indestructible as a mood created by a cup of coffee, especially not if it is a good cup of coffee. I just happened to have made one of those. My measuring skills must have improved over time or I just got lucky and eyeballed everything right. I think the latter is probably more true. That's why a good cup of coffee is always up to chance. It's not a guaranteed thing. 

The sun is coming out again and I need to take the dog for a walk. The fresh air will do us both good. I'll go see what the rain washed away.

I hope you're all having a good day.

Ciao,

Irene

Taking naps...

Since I've quit smoking, my life consists of taking many naps. I nap all the time, during the daytime as well as during the nighttime. Whenever I am bored and I think I may be sitting in my armchair with too much time on my hands, I decide to take a nap. This takes away the chance to feel the desire to smoke. 

I very cozily get under the duvet and fall asleep and have my very intricate and lively dreams for about an hour or two. Very often the dog wakes me up because he's bored and I very happily get up again. I'm never in a bad mood when I do. I know that whenever I want to, I can go back to bed. As long as I take care of my responsibilities in between naps there's no problem.

I like this way of life and it's a greeing with me very well. I know it's just a temporary life style and that it's not going to last forever. It's a solution to a minor problem and that problem will disappear as I get used to be a non smoker and I'm getting used to that more and more each day. The trick is to keep myself occupied and that I'm not always able to do, especially not on the weekends like now. 

I have started to eat more, but I went on the bathroom scale this morning and had actually lost a kilo. Apparently I'm not eating the wrong foods. I do have a hunkering for fried eggs and eat those a lot, but I don't eat any bread with them. I eat them plain without anything else. I fry them in sunflower oil, not in butter. I thought that might be healthtier, although butter tastes better. 

I also like slices of dense breakfast cake which is nourishing and filling but low in calories. I slather diet margarine on them. I can eat two slices of them at the time which is quite an improvement to how many I used to be able to eat. My stomach is treating me better. I can eat more with less problems. I think the medication is working well. 

Tomorrow ordinary life resumes when my personal helper and the domestic help will be here. I won't be able to take as many naps then. They haven't seen the latest changes in the apartment and I'm curious how they will react to them. Actually, I wish I could do more. I would like to redecorate all the time. I think it's my natural calling. 

As I sit here, I'm looking at a very nice framed glicee print that I got from an English artist that has all the colors of my decor in it. That turned out to be purely by accident and I just got lucky. I have it standing on my desk instead of the printer that I didn't have installed and that I never used. I figured that I'd rather look at a piece of art than at an ugly printer.The eye wants something too.

The image that is at the top of this post is not the one I have but is one of hers anyway. Her name was Tessa Edwards and she passed away last year.I'm sure if you google her you will be able to find more information about her and maybe even find out if you can still buy her art. 

I've got to get something to eat. They will be eggs no doubt, if there are any left. Maybe I will eat Parmesan noodles. That's a novel idea. Hmmm...

Ciao,

Nora

Here I'm sat...

I'm drinking a delicious cup of coffee and am generally feeling in a good mood, although that did take me a while. When I just woke up from my nap, I was a bit grouchy and had to wait for the caffeine to cheer me up. I made a fresh pot of coffee and had a big mug of it before I felt my mood improve. Now nothing can go wrong. I feel ever so much better and I can face what's left of the day with a good attitude. 

I'm still sitting here in my bathrobe while outside it is storming. It has been since early this morning. There's lots of gale force wind and rain. It's not a day to be outside and I left the pleasure of walking the dog to the Exfactor who was here at the right time. He got here between showers, but also had to go some other places in town and I do think he must have gotten very wet. I thought about him when the rain was coming down very hard and hoped he had found shelter. 

The weather will continue to be bad for a while longer. Luckily, my appointment tomorrow morning with my therapist was canceled and now I won't have to ride my bike through the wind and rain. I do feel a certain amount of relief about that. I wasn't looking forward to it. It does give me the day off when I can be taking care of some bills and other paperwork that I have been neglecting. Things always work out for a reason. 

The Exfactor informed me, after he had taken him out, that the dog had worms, so he got a treatment for that as well as for the fleas. Luckily, I still had the pills for that and I hid one inside a piece of cheese. The dog swallowed it without a problem. As long as it is food, it is inhaled instantly. Giving him medicines is always easy. 

I've got to get dressed and take him for a walk. I think it has temporarily stopped raining. It's already dark outside and I'm not greatly inspired to go out there, but I'm sure the dog will appreciate it very much. 

Ciao,

Nora

Trying to get happy...

I'm drinking a cup of coffee and trying to get happy because I'm not right now. I just woke up from a nap and I'm really down in the dumps. I hope the caffeine will get me out of them soon. I really see the glass very empty and thoughts of doom are haunting me. I so dislike feeling this way, but I don't know how to feel differently. I don't know how to get there. 

I know what the cause of my bad feelings is. I can't do much about changing it. It lies outside myself and all I can do is change the way I react to it. Change the way I deal with it. I haven't found a method yet and I do worry.

When confronted so directly with other people's problems, I don't always know exactly what to do. My instincts tell me to run away as fast as possible, but I don't and stay and try to help. I think I should listen to my instincts more. 

I could solve this problem by just talking about it here indirectly. 

Sometimes you get pulled into other people's lives more intensely than you would like. More than is comfortable for you. Before you know it, you are in over your head. That's when you need to think about yourself and your own sanity. Actually, you should have done that a couple of steps back. It's because you cared that you didn't.

Still, you need to extract yourself in the most graceful way without making it look like you don't care at all. You've got to stop playing the rescuing angel, the good Samaritan, and start taking on a more normal role. Or at least one that fits you more comfortably. Forget about normal because who's to say what normal is? 

Right, I've made up my mind then and I know what to do now. That's a load off my mind. I will make a phone call shortly and make myself clear. Tactfully. 

Have a good evening. 

Ciao,

Nora

Just make some coffee, woman!

Not too long ago, I was in a terrible mood. It felt like the world was coming to an end. I got up from my nap and felt devastated. I was literally in a number one depression and didn't know how to get out of it. I sat in my armchair with a glass of milk and just felt awful. I wondered what in the world had happened during my nap that I felt this way and why my day had suddenly ended up like that. 

Of course, what I didn't do was make a pot of coffee because that would have lifted my spirits soon enough. I was in such bad shape that it didn't dawn on me until a few hours later after I had suffered quite a bit. For some reason it actually did get through to me at one point to make a pot and once I did have a cup of coffee, I startted to feel a lot better. By the time I had my second cup, I was my usual cheerful self and all was well with the world. 

That just goes to show you what a benevolent chemical caffeine is for me and how I can't do without it at certain times of the day. I would still be in bad shape if it weren't for those cups of coffee. I might be contemplating all sorts of things now that I don't even want to think of. Thank god I did have the caffeine and that I was smart enough to make the coffee because I was almost in too much of a stupor to do that. I was saved by my instincts that finally kicked in.

The weather has been horrible today. It has been storming with a terrible strong wind blowing rain and hail sideways and thunder and lightening on top of that. I've been outside as little as I could and the dog has had to go out back mostly. The weather is very unpredictable and it does clear up for a few minutes at the time, only to suddenly become horrid again the next. Hopefully, this will all clear up by tomorrow, but I'm not sure if the rain will stop. 

I'm very comfortably seated here early in the evening and I'm glad the day is done. I feel that I'm just now coming to life. It was sort of a wasted day. I think the storm unsettled me and I didn't like the way the wind hit the rain against the windows. It's now temporarily quiet outside and it is very enjoyable. I've just turned on the heater and it's nice and warm in here. 

I very much like my new skinny jeans. They are very comfortable and they fit well and have enough stretch in them to allow easy movement. I certainly got the size right and will know from now on which ones to get. This brand is very good and relatively inexpensive. It's also nice to be able to order them online.and have them delivered the next day. I must also have a very easy size because the length of the legs is just right. It's nice when you can count on that.

The style that I've got my hair combed in now is much better than how I had it before. I can sleep on this hair and wake up looking decent. I hardly have to do anything to it to get it in shape and I don't have to use so much hairspray.. I've got it parted on the other side and it covers my thin spot better. That's my secret., by the way. Don't tell anyone. My hair looks fuller and is more manageable. I never tried this before, but wish I had. It's a real discovery. It's going to be so much easier to let it grow out now. 

I didn't wear any make up today and that's against my own rules. I didn't feel like getting all gussied up. For some reason, I liked myself well enough without it. Besides, I didn't go anywhere today. Putting on mascara is the hardest because of the low volume of eyelashes that I have left. They used to be thick and long, but as I've gotten older, they've gotten thinner and shorter. I think this is very unfortunate and one of the drawbacks of middle age. There ought to be a law against this sort of thing.

I hope you'll all have a good evening and better weather than we're having. 

Ciao,

Nora

The shutters of my mind are closed...

I'm temporarily shut off from my good feelings. I hope it's temporary and not a permanent condition. I'd hate to go through life this way. I really do see things in shades of gray now and black is another prominent color. Lord knows that they are not attractive shades of color to see your life in. I need something brighter than this. 

Let's blame it on the absence of sunlight. It has been dreary all day and cold too. The sky has been overcast and gray and it has been raining. Not exactly the kind of weather to feel optimistic about. 

I know that's not really the reason for my bad mood, but I'm pretending it is. I'd have to dig deep within myself to find the real reason and that may be too much work. Normally I'm all for analyzing myself, but something is witholding me now. Call it my angry little stubborn streak. I feel very ornery at this moment.

Chances are that I'll talk myself right out of it if I sit here long enough. I know I can never stay permanently grumpy. But I don't know if I'm only grumpy or if there's somthing more the matter. I suppose I'll know that tomorrow when I get up and start a new day. Now is not the time to know for sure. 

You shouldn't pay any attention to me. I probably got out on the wrong side of the bed when I got up from my nap earlier this evening. I had been to see my sister and got home late in the afternoon and was very tired. I took a nap when it was not really a good time to take one. I'm a little bit off schedule as a result. 

You see how I can trivialize my bad mood and make it not at all important anymore. It doesn't even deserve the words I'm wasting on it. 

I think I will go and eat some dinner now. I need to feed my body. I can't live on ice cold milk alone. It did taste very good, though. 

Ciao,

Nora

Dull moments in the closet...

I sit here not quite awake drinking my cup of coffee. There's fog in my head still from the nap I just took. I hope to any minute now become more clearheaded, but it may take me a while. In the meantime, I will just enjoy this state of mind to the best of my ability. It does add another dimension to my thinking capacities. The fact that they are a little impaired doen't bother me all that much. Goodness knows what I'll come up with. 

My mascara was smeared by one eye when I got up, but that was quickly fixed. I still look decent enough to go walk the dog in a little while. Besides, it is dark outside and no one will see. It's not as if I'm going out on a hot date and the dog makes no objections at all if my make up isn't on right. That's the one drawback of dogs, I do think they ought to be more critical of your looks. And more appreciative too. 

At least my nails are properly polished and my hands look decent with my rings on them. I almost look like a lady and I could be mistaken for one. I'm certainly dressed like one because I'm wearing a very ladylike dress. It comes from my closet hardly worn because it didn't fit me all that well before. It sure does look good now. Losing a few kilos made all the difference. It's a tight fitting dress, at least it was. It's a little roomier now. 

I'm glad I rediscovered it. Delving into my closet every now and then can be a rewarding experience. I always find something that I had forgotten about. I don't know if I should blame that on my bad memory or on my abundance of clothes. I don't think I have that many clothes. I do regularly take things out of the closet and put them away. I really wish I had an abundance of shoes and boots because I never seem to have enough of them. Unfortunately, I'm not that lucky. I would like to find boots I had forgotten about.

The coffee has woken me up to a point and it has also made me very thirsty. I will have to drink a glass of ice cold milk. That will play some other tricks with my mind and my stomach. There's never a dull moment around here. Well, actually there are. I just refuse to recognize them as such. I just pretend they are meditative moments. I have them regularly during the day. 

I always pretend my life is more interesting than it is. I have to use my imagination a lot and care about things that are really not very important. I have to make the little things big and give them lots of meaning. That´s why I always say that you have to care about them. If you do, they will fill up your life and give it contentedness.

I have to take the dog for a walk. He´s been waiting patiently beside me. It is cold and dark outside so I will have to dress for it. 

I hope you´ll all have a good evening.

Ciao,

Nora

Time out from the rat race...

I'm only joking...I'm not in any sort of a rat race and haven't been since I left my well off middle class life when I had to keep up with the rest of the yuppies. I haven't felt that kind of pressure since then and hope to never feel it again. It's much better to be at the bottom of the ladder. At least I'm not striving to reach impossible heights. Closer to the bottom, you don't have so far to fall. It doesn't hurt as much. 

No, today has been a fairly leisurely day and I have not felt any specific stress. The only thing that was wrong with it was that I tried to take a nap in the afternoon but was unsuccessful. That doesn't happen very often and it surprised me because I really tried. I'm usually a master at taking naps. I can do it easily every day. It's true that the bedroom was cold because of the open window, but the duvet was warm and that should have been good enough. 

When I realized that I wasn't going to fall asleep, I went to the bathroom and started cleaning out both of my make up bags. I had not looked inside of them for quite a while because I had stopped using any kind of make up. Between the two bags, I found all sorts of neat things that I didn't know I had and I was much surprised. Some of it, or should I say a lot, was good stuff that I could use. All I had to do was have a change of attitude and be girlie again. In other works: decorate myself a little.

I found three lipsticks, but one of them was dried out and I threw it away. Now I'm trying out the other two to see which one stays on the best. They are both good colors, so either one will be okay. 

I still had a large tube of mascara and it was still in great shape. I applied that and found out I still had eyelashes to apply it to. 

I had numerous eyeliner pencils in various shades and lengths and I got rid of the old and short ones and kept those that still looked like they were going to draw a good line in a nice color that I liked. I applied eyeliner to my eyes and looked a lot better quickly.

I also found the nail polish of which I only have one bottle. I decided to really take my time and apply two layers of polish to my nails patiently and let it dry properly between each layer. It took me an hour to do both hands because I waited a while after I did each hand. I smoked a cigarette while I waited for those nails to dry. The polish is on properly now and it hasn't chipped off yet or gotten damaged in any other way. 

Between the mascara and eyeliner and the nail polish and lipstick, I look like a proper woman and you could say that a metamorphosis has taken place. It does look good and I'm pleased enough. Luckily, my hair was in place so I didn't have to mess with it and I'm wearing nice enough clothes too. I'm as picture perfect as I can get. 

I have also decided to let my hair grow and will just keep getting the back cut even until the rest of my hair has caught up with it. I don't know how long this is going to take. My hair used to grow quickly, but I don't know how it is now. I always imagine that it does, but I don't actually go to the hairdresser as often as I thought I did. Between drinking as much milk as I do and taking the multi-vitamins, I'll have to assume I'm doing all I can to have healthy hair. 

So, suddenly I have the wish to be more feminine again. I want to wear make up and use beauty products and have longer hair. I want to celebrate my femaleness. I hope I stay in this state of mind for a long time because I find it very pleasant and an extra reflection of another side of me. That side had been a little neglected. It is now getting some attention and I can only welcome it. I'll treasure it all I can. 

Now I've got to take the dog out for a walk. It's that time of the evening again. 

Ciao,

Nora

Oh, what the heck...

I've got to remember not to get all serious while I sit here and write this. I've got to keep it as lighthearted as I can. It is, after all, Saturday and a day off and not the kind of day to be serious about anything at all. There's simply no need for it. 

Outside there's a cold wind blowing and it's making me have second thoughts about taking the dog out in a while. I don't remember there being mention of cold wind in the forecast. I wish they'd check these things with me beforehand. I do dislike unreliable weather forecasting.

I am enjoying the freshly made coffee very much and it's making my mind blossom. I'm working on my first cup, so there's room for improvement still. The second one should do wonders. That's before I've even had my medicines. Just imagine what's going to happen then. A whole metamorphosis will take place. 

I've taken a nap and woke up with the dog in my arms. He slobbered my face when I opened my eyes. That was his way of kindly greeting me. I do appreciate the gesture and slobber does dry up quickly if it's not too wet. You've got to look at everything from an optimistic point of view. That includes wet kisses from a dog. 

Mind you, I've never liked wet kisses from the human male sort of variety. Those were the kind that always turned me off immediately. No one who kissed like that ever got any further with me. I am very discriminate when it comes to kissing. I'd rather have the dog kiss me than getting slobbered on by just any old body. Or a young one, for that matter. 

I'm getting sidetracked. Said dog is now standing beside me with a very urgent look on his face. I think I've got to brave the cold wind and take him out. I will wear my warmest coat. It is the end of November, after all. 

Have a good evening.

Ciao,

Nora

Feeling ever so much better...

I was feeling slightly discombobulated when I woke up from my nap this afternoon, but now that I've had my first cup of coffee, I'm doing much better. I almost forgot for it to start working and got worried for naught. I thought I was going to continue to feel off track, but as I drank the coffee, I became more cheerful and coherent. I should remember that it almost always is this way and that I don't function optimally when I first wake up. 

I'm vaguely aware of the fact that I should make coffee and that it's very important, but it's not a conscious decision that I make. I do it almost automatically and I very obediently pour a cup when the coffeemaker is done. I drink it without thinking about it and only gradually become aware of its positive effect on me. The second cup is much more deliberate. I do know what effect I'm after then. It's probably also unnecessary, but I have it anyway. It's better to be safe than sorry.

I watched a program this morning on Frans Hals, the 17th century painter. It showed the intricate and informal way he painted people of importance and how innovative that was in his time. He was quite a radical painter, although we would not think so now. The paintings that were shown and discussed were beautiful, although most of them were of very stately men and women. He very much personalized them and gave each one something completely unforgettable by way of an expression or a pose. 

I love these kinds of programs and appreciate it so much when they are on. It makes you look at art with whole new eyes. It makes me want to go to a good bookstore and buy every art book I can lay my hands on. Well, I do have my own and I can have a look at them again. There is enough art discussed in them and enough to look at to feast the eyes, but I would love to own books on all the famous artists. I very much enjoyed taking art history classes when I lived in California. Those were the good old days. 

I've got to fix myself some dinner because my stomach is empty. It is a feeling I enjoy, but I'm hungry now. I think I'll have some chicken soup. That's something the dog enjoys eating too. I can never finish all of it myself so I share it with him. 

Have a good evening all of you. 

Ciao,

Nora

Making sense of nonsense...

Despite my initial misgivings about the day, it turned out fine and I'm not at all dissatisfied with it. I was in a good mood for most of it and enjoyed myself no matter what I was doing. Even when I did the rather large pile of dishes which I had let stack up over the past three days. It was large by my standards anyway. All the tall glasses were dirty and that doesn't happen very often. 

I also did a load of laundry, although the washing machine wasn't quite full. I didn't have enough things to wash and had to run it anyway. I had to get this load done before I change the sheets on my bed. Those will have to be washed next, but I won't be able to hang them outside to dry because it's going to be raining. The load on the clothes rack will have to dry first before I can hang up the sheets. 

I didn't take a nap this afternoon because I slept late this morning. I had a series of interesting dreams that I had to sit and think about when I woke up. They certainly were intriguing and I tried to make some sense of their symbolism because they were scattered with it. I think I understood most of them and will apply their wisdom to my life. They can be great insights into your own psyche. 

I did hit a slump at the end of the afternoon and had to make some coffee to get me over it. I would have liked to take a little nap, but I figured that it was too late in the day for that and to save my sleep for tonight. The caffeine perked me up and now I'm alright again. I'm just about as fit as a fiddle. I would like to be able to play the fiddle also, but maybe in my next life I'll be musically talented. I have great hopes for my next life. 

I thought we were going to have a sunshiny day, but it was overcast all day long and it continually looked like it was going to rain. At least it wasn't cold and I only had to wear my short leather jacket when I walked the dog. We're having very mild weather for the time of year. It's going to rain tonight. It will be cozy in bed if it does and I will open the bedroom window and listen to it. I never do tire of that sound. 

I've got to make something to eat before the eight o'clock news comes on. I think I will also put on my pajamas and bathrobe and get comfortable in the armchair. It will be an evening to veg out in front of the TV.

I hope you'll all have a good night.

Ciao,

Nora

Dawdling...

I should be out walking the dog now, but I'm drinking a delicious cup of coffee and feeling generally good mooded so I'm loathe to get off my butt. I refuse to accept that it's that time of the evening again and that I have to fulfill my duty. Besides, the dog is sound asleep on the floor beside me and doesn't seem in the least interested in going out. It will wait until later. 

First I'm going to sit here and take advantage of the moment. It is too good to let go to waste. I don't very often get that super peaceful feeling anymore during the day and I do want to hold on to it while I can. I'm afraid that if I get up and start moving around, it will disappear as snow for the sun. I hold it as if it is a precious gift. As if it is something very fragile. I don't want to break it into a hundred fragments. 

Outside it is gray and cool and slightly windy. It's the kind of weather I don't mind at all. Some drops of rain fell even. They were just a few, but even so. At least I get to wear some decent clothes and I don't have to walk around skimpily dressed. The windows are still open and fresh air is coming in through them. I hope that the smoky smell will disappear quickly, although it's not as bad as it has been in the past. It helps if there's a bit of a draft. 

The coffee tastes especially good. I made a strong pot of it having just woken up from a nap a while ago. I wasn't sure what time of day it was when I woke up and was slightly disappointed when I realized that it was only late in the afternoon. For some reason I expected it to be in the middle of the night. I must have been completely discombobulated. I think I was even dreaming. The coffee has wakened me up quite nicely and now I'm back to my full senses. Sometimes I get the proportions of ground coffee and water just right. 

It's nice to be in a peaceful mood. I feel like I'm having a Zen moment and it's lasting a while. It's like being infused with happiness for no good reason at all. It just came out of the blue, although I'd like to know what made it come about so I can have a repeat of the experience. But first I'll enjoy it as much as I can. I do have to stay in the moment. Infusions of peacefulness and happiness are always welcome. It doesn't matter where they came from. It's making them last that counts. 

It's slowly getting dark in the living room. It will be time to turn the lights on shortly. The evenings do start earlier all the time and with it true fall will come. It's already in the air today after all that warm weather. I'm curious to see when I'll have to start wearing my winter coat. I'm glad I bought it when I did. I'm more than ready for any kind of weather and I've got the boots for it too. I won't be caught unawares. 

I've got to take my peaceful mood and go walk the dog with it before it really gets dark. It will be nice to be outside in the cool air for a while. It will cheer me up tremendously, not that I really need any cheering up. I will add another dimension to my mood. The dog will be most happy to go outside and walk through the fallen leaves. We will both benefit from the fresh air. 

I hope you'll all have a good evening.

Ciao,

Nora

For the sake of a cup of coffee...

It was a peaceful Saturday and it went by quickly. It's already evening and it's starting to get dark outside. No doubt that is partially due to the rain clouds that have moved in. 

It's supposed to rain a little during the night, but you won't hear me complain about that. I like a little rain now and then, especially when I'm lying in bed and I can listen to it through the open window. 

The wind has picked up and there's a nice draft blowing through the apartment.  The wind is coming from the west and that's where our weather is coming from. It's from England, so whatever kind of weather they had, we are getting next. In the fall, that usually means rainy and windy weather. 

I just walked the dog and I do have to remember that a brisk walk energizes me.  I felt better when we got back to the apartment than before we left and whatever cobwebs were in my head, were completely blown away. 

We had walked quickly because the dog was in a hurry the whole way. Sometimes he gets that way and he acts like he's chasing something. I have a hard time keeping up with him because he hardly dallies anywhere. We just go. He leads and I follow. It's like a slapstick movie. 

But it does energize me and I always feel good afterwards and I think what a lot of good exercise does and that I really should get more of it. Then I remember that I'm physically too lazy and that I like sitting in my armchair. I exercise my arm by drinking a cup of coffee or a glass of milk. 

I changed my bed and celebrated it by taking a nap in it this afternoon. I do need to recharge my batteries regularly. All the mental activity that I engage in wears me out. I live in my head too much. A nap is a break from my own thoughts. 

I'm caught up on all my chores and the apartment is amazingly clean and organized. I've got to hang up a load of laundry to dry in a little while. The washing machine just got done. Hanging up laundry is one of my favorite things to do.

The dog thinks he wants to go out again and maybe for the sake of the exercise I should take him. I think I will wait until it's bedtime and make sure he's all set for the night.

I've got to watch the news and be informed about the world. 

Have a good evening.

Ciao,

Nora

Finally...

I finally feel like I'm caught up on my sleep and that I'm a normally functioning human being again. I took a much needed nap after dinner and slept until the delivery boy from the pharmacy rang the intercom. It's a good thing he did, because I probably still would have been asleep now and that's not what was supposed to happen. 

I didn't get enough sleep last night and got up way too early this morning and was sort of dragging my butt all day. I didn't feel my normal cheerful self, no matter how hard I tried, but I knew it was from the lack of sleep. Sometimes you get too tired to fall asleep and I had tried it unsuccessfully in the afternoon. I felt jet lagged. Thank goodness that I feel alright now. 

I have an announcement to make. From this day on this blog is not going to be my main blog anymore. It is going to be one of the other ones which is now called: Be My Doll, Ain't No Chick. That's where I'll do most of my important posting. So if you're only subscribed to one of my blogs, as I know some of you are, I suggest you switch over to that one. It also has my complete archives which this one doesn't. 

Now that I've made that announcement, I suddenly don't know what to blog about anymore. I've taken the wind out of my own sails. 

At least I'm still yawning despite the coffee I'm drinking. That's a good sign. It means I will sleep alright tonight. 

Have a good night.

Ciao,

Nora

Thunder and lightning...

I woke up because the dog was trying to get my attention by gently growling into my right ear. I pulled him up on the bed and had a wrestling match with him which I won. Then we got up and went to the kitchen where he ate his kibbles and I made coffee. Now he's asleep on the sofa and I'm very cozily sitting here behind the computer in the middle of the night as is usual. All is well with the world. 

Last night, clouds moved in and the wind started to blow very hard. It started to thunder and rain something awful. It was an enormous storm and a lot of water fell out of the sky. The thunder moved right overhead and the lightning strikes came one right after another. 

In Belgium, right across the border, there was a music festival and trees and big tents got blown over and apart and several people got killed and seventy got wounded. It was quite a drama. The festival was in a chaos and had to be canceled. There were thousands of young people there who somehow all had to leave the festival grounds safely. Many of them had to be picked up by their parents. 

So for a while all was not right with the world. At least not in our little corner of it. The night is very silent now and there is no more storm or rain. I'm glad of it because it was very disquieting. I felt like I had to go and build an ark to put the animals in. 

The dog wanted to go outside as quickly as possible and trudge through the puddles after the storm was over. He did get very wet and the fur on his head got very curly so he looked like a poodle. The cat very wisely stayed inside and sat in front of the living room window and contemplated the wet world from there. She watched the whole storm from that spot and was very intrigued by it.

I thought I was going to be more tired than I am because I didn't take an afternoon nap yesterday. I'm surprisingly awake. I've only slept for a few hours, but I feel like I'm ready to stay up. No doubt I'll come to my senses once I start drinking cold milk instead of this coffee and feel the need to go back to bed. I must do the things that ordinary people do and stick to the schedule. 

I slept between clean sheets, but it was so warm and muggy in the bedroom that it was almost too warm to sleep under the duvet. I had it only covering my legs and that sufficed. It still hasn't cooled off a lot in the apartment, although today is going to be a not so warm day, but I prefer that. I'd rather wear more clothes than less clothes. 

Thank god it's Friday again. It's time to get ready to enjoy the weekend. This is the first weekend in a long time that I'll actually just plain feel good. It won't be an escape from the real world. It will just be two enjoyable days with time off for good behavior, but I won't dread the coming of Monday when it's over.

I suppose I must start thinking now about going back to bed. I'm not tired, but I should try to get some more sleep. It will be the sensible thing to do. Even if I only rest with my eyes open it will be good. At least I will have had a time out. I've got to take advantage of those clean sheets. 

I hope you'll all have a good Friday with the kind of weather you hope for. 

Ciao,

Nora