No such luck tonight...

I had taken an extra sleeping pill in the hope of sleeping extra well tonight, but I was not so lucky as the dog started to bark very loudly not too many hours after I had fallen asleep. Needless to say, this shocked me awake and I had to get up to settle him down. I stayed up and made myself some coffee and now I am sitting here in a half awake state which is mildly pleasant and as a matter of fact, not at all disagreeable. 

It must be because I'm slightly drugged that it agrees with me so well and it's true that I'm slightly dopey. I'm not saying no to this state of mind and I embrace it fully because what a wonderful place to be in. All my thoughts are pleasant and mellow and I don't feel one bit of anxiety. I can highly recommend this condition to anyone. 

You may want to smoke a little bit of pot to get into this frame of mind. Just a few tokes ought to do it. It's good for whatever physical aches and pains you have and in some countries it is prescribed medicinally. You could be legally smoking pot if it's not easily available like it is here. My son used it as part of his cancer treatment. It was prescribed to him. 

That's was just an aside. I got a little sidetracked. I'm easily distracted right now being not completely in charge of my full faculties. 

Of course, this mood is not going to last forever. As I drink my coffee I will sober up and become quite normal again. It is not for me  to stay in a state of oblivion for a long time. I'm too down to earth for that. I do always seek the path back to the rational state of being very quickly. Recreational drugs are probably wasted on me. All they do is make me hungry and raid the refrigerator. 

I find that the best way to sleep in bed with my bad and painful shoulder, is to lie on my back with my hands folded over my stomach. Sort of like the effigy of a knight resting over his grave. I have the least amount of pain then. It's getting up and acting like it's a normal shoulder when I get in trouble and the least amount of movement bothers me.

This does not prevent me from using it, as I don't want to act like a cripple. I figure if I can stand the pain then I can do the deed. If I don't use it, it will stiffen up and I will be even further from home. If it gets worse, I will go see my GP, but until that time I will ignore it as much as possible. I sure can't go whacking anybody over the head with that arm, but I wasn't planning on doing that anyway. 

I didn't stay up to watch that thriller last night, feeling a great desire to go to bed instead and to sleep between the clean sheets. I was not disappointed and was very comfortable. It's a loss to miss the thriller, but sometimes sleep comes first. 

It won't come first now because by this time I'm over my stupor and I'm wide awake. I will have to drink some warm milk and in the meantime find some activities to keep me occupied.  It's still very early in the night and I've got many hours to go until dawn when I'll be ready to go to sleep again. Maybe I'll surprise myself and go to sleep on time anyway. 

I hope you're having a good night and that you'll have a good morning. 

Ciao,

Nora

After hypo-mania.

I'm constantly in danger of falling asleep. I keep nodding off and having to take long naps. I sit behind the computer and yawn something awful and have to go to the sofa to sleep. I make pots of coffee and hope they help, but they don't, the need to sleep is stronger. 

Nevertheless, I just made myself some coffee and still hope it will work and I'm drinking the first cup of it now. You can't say I'm not willing to try. Actually, if you take away the sleepiness, my mood is good, so all that needs to happen is for this coffee to work. All I need to do is stop yawning. 

I've taken some time off to write some emails and by now I'm doing much better. I'm drinking my second cup of coffee and feel more awake. I've stopped yawning and even played ball with Tyke who really wants to be walked and who I will have to take out in a little while. 

I was thinking how it is really too bad that the 'coffeeshop' is no longer around the corner so I could buy some hash to roll a joint with and have that and sleep really well from tonight. I haven't had any for a couple of years and sometimes I dream about it. It's so nice because you don't have a hangover the next day and wake up so nice and gentle. I must see if I can get some. 

I've walked Tyke and he led me on a wild goose chase. He picked up the scent of something and I let him follow it. He took us all over the place and then doubled back. I decided to take charge again and get back onto our normal route where we met a King Charles Springer Spaniel. It was a meeting of mixed feelings with both dogs, but ended up friendly. Tyke does stand his ground and is not intimidated. He's not a scared dog. The other dog was growling and wagging his tail at the same time. He couldn't make up his mind, but they did kiss and make up in the end. 

It's too late to drink any more coffee now, so I will switch to milk. I do have to sleep tonight and I hope I haven't used it all up today. At least I've saved myself from a dark and gloomy mood by sleeping. I would have been in bad shape if I had not. My sister doesn't understand this and thinks I sleep by choice and not from necessity. She thinks I ought to stay awake and doesn't realize that it's impossible. I would be a wreck if I even managed to stay awake. My sister is not a very smart woman, even though she had all that education. It was largely wasted on her. 

On that cheerful note I'm going to leave you and see what other sort of trouble I can get into. I think I'll go and put my pajamas on, so at least I'll be at that point of the proceedings. 

See you later.

Ciao,
Nora