Aches and pains...

The muscles in my stomach ache from being unwell, but I am sitting here drinking a cup of coffee successfully and I've also been able to drink a glass of milk and that is great news. I had to forego drinking the two for quite a while. This means that my stomach is slowly getting back to normal and my nerves are maybe slowly too. I do have to take a tranquilizer every now and then to steady myself, but I think that's a small price to pay for a stressless situation. Besides, I am worth it. 

Because I had hardly been able to eat anything, it was a relief to be able to drink the tall glass of milk. It was filling and nutritious and it did perk me up quite a bit. I felt a lot better afterwards and not so hungry. It was as good as having a small meal. The coldness of it was very pleasant and it also quenched my thirst.

The stress was coming from having too many things to do before my older sister gets here and me worrying about her health and her having a good enough time here. Now that I know this, because these feelings were creeping up on me subconsciously, I feel a bit better and more aware of what the problem is and able to deal with it. In the morning I will take care of everything that needs to get done and not worry about anything else. 

At least I feel well enough physically to be able to take care of things and no longer so ill. That is quite a relief. 

It's tough when your mental problem translates itself into a physical ailment, but once you are aware of it, there is a way to deal with it. I suppose that instead of taking a tranquilizer I could do some meditative exercises, but I'm not really the type to do them correctly to last for a long enough time. I find that taking a tranquilizer works quicker and better. I do rely on medication to get me out of the tough situations, but I am able to get off them when the time is right. 

It is with some amount of anticipation that I sit and think about the coming weekend. It is also Easter after all and my younger sister is giving a brunch for us all. I'm looking forward to that because I hope she is serving fresh croissants. I have been having a hunkering for them. I'm sure there will be something delicious to eat, although there's some question if my older sister and I will be able to partake much having the stomach problems that we do. There will be other people there to do the meal justice, though.

I suppose that I will go back t bed now and get some more sleep, although I'm not tired. Common sense tells me that I need to go back to bed. I can do the dishes instead. That may be a good idea also. 

Have a great day.

Ciao,

Irene

Nice and mellow...

It's how I feel right now because I've managed to take a five hour long nap on the sofa. I must have needed it badly for me to sleep for such a long time. Now that I'm awake again, I don't feel the need for a cup of coffee. I want stay in this mellow mood that I've got for a while longer. I'm still yawning and somewhat muddleheaded, but that's okay with me right now. 

I've managed to drink a whole glass of milk without getting too much of an upset stomach so that is world news. My stomach is unpredictable territory and I never know what is going to agree with it. It differs from one day to the next, but I have to say that I am happy when I get to drink a glass of ice cold milk. That's a treat I hate to do without. 

It has rained while I was asleep and the water is still dripping from the gutter out back. I let the dog out there and he got wet from plowing through the bushes. The cat very gently walked around them. The dog has no such sensibilities. Of course he's protected by a thick coat of fur and the drops of water don't bother him. He still does need to get a proper trim. 

I've changed my mind about the cup of coffee because I was a bit too mellow and could not gather my thoughts at all. I've made a pot of coffee in the meanwhile and am drinking a cup now. It has, as if by a miracle, cleared the cobwebs from my head. I can now think properly and make some sense. I was thinking in slow motion before. It was as if I was moving through molasses. 

Now that I've got a second lease on life, I can tell you that I'm in a good mood and that I'm looking forward to the rest of the day, short as it is since I spent most of it asleep. That was really wonderful and I must make sure that I spend more time sleeping and get all of it done before my older sister gets here. I have to catch up on whatever I'm short on. There will be less time to do that when she is here.

There's nothing as indestructible as a mood created by a cup of coffee, especially not if it is a good cup of coffee. I just happened to have made one of those. My measuring skills must have improved over time or I just got lucky and eyeballed everything right. I think the latter is probably more true. That's why a good cup of coffee is always up to chance. It's not a guaranteed thing. 

The sun is coming out again and I need to take the dog for a walk. The fresh air will do us both good. I'll go see what the rain washed away.

I hope you're all having a good day.

Ciao,

Irene

The shutters of my mind are closed...

I'm temporarily shut off from my good feelings. I hope it's temporary and not a permanent condition. I'd hate to go through life this way. I really do see things in shades of gray now and black is another prominent color. Lord knows that they are not attractive shades of color to see your life in. I need something brighter than this. 

Let's blame it on the absence of sunlight. It has been dreary all day and cold too. The sky has been overcast and gray and it has been raining. Not exactly the kind of weather to feel optimistic about. 

I know that's not really the reason for my bad mood, but I'm pretending it is. I'd have to dig deep within myself to find the real reason and that may be too much work. Normally I'm all for analyzing myself, but something is witholding me now. Call it my angry little stubborn streak. I feel very ornery at this moment.

Chances are that I'll talk myself right out of it if I sit here long enough. I know I can never stay permanently grumpy. But I don't know if I'm only grumpy or if there's somthing more the matter. I suppose I'll know that tomorrow when I get up and start a new day. Now is not the time to know for sure. 

You shouldn't pay any attention to me. I probably got out on the wrong side of the bed when I got up from my nap earlier this evening. I had been to see my sister and got home late in the afternoon and was very tired. I took a nap when it was not really a good time to take one. I'm a little bit off schedule as a result. 

You see how I can trivialize my bad mood and make it not at all important anymore. It doesn't even deserve the words I'm wasting on it. 

I think I will go and eat some dinner now. I need to feed my body. I can't live on ice cold milk alone. It did taste very good, though. 

Ciao,

Nora

Unbound and untethered...

The great thing about being unburdened of a depression is that you don't dread the day to come. You can go to sleep at night in a fairly restful state of mind and know that the next day is not going to be one in which you will be fighting a battle with yourself and the elements around you. A battle which you are going to lose and which is going to cause you all sorts of stress. 

Relieved of my depression because of the regular use of tranquilizers, I now feel pretty secure at any time of the day and night. I don't worry anymore that I'm not going to be able to cope because I can look forward to a lot of peacefulness and the knowledge that I'll make it through the day fairly unscathed. 

The fact that I will be safe in my own company makes me feel very secure. I no longer have to try and escape from myself and my own thoughts and find my solace in sleep. My thoughts are very benign now and don't harm me. I no longer have them hanging over me like so many dark clouds. 

Speaking of dark clouds, we've had enough of those around lately. Yesterday we had nothing but and it rained every now and then. We don't need the rain, so it is completely superfluous and we could actually do with a week of sunshine and warm temperatures. There seem to be none in the forecast. 

When I visited my sister yesterday afternoon, I wore two layers of clothing and my jacket and a scarf. I had to ride my bike over there. There was a cold wind blowing and I had to ride into it going over there. Luckily, it did stay dry, but the sky looked threatening all afternoon. 

We did sit in the garden for a little while all bundled up and looked at what flowers were blooming now and which ones were all done. Some plants are thriving in all the rain, but others are not doing all that well. They seem to like drier conditions, but the ground is soaked.

The herbs are doing great and my sister uses them for cooking. She cooks Italian a lot and vegetarian and uses the herbs to give the dishes the extra flavor.

It was good to come home again and see the dog and sit in quiet solitude for a while in my armchair before I took him for a walk. I so very much appreciate the time on my own again. I only need a little bit of socializing, though I could not do without. I like it when other people do most of the talking and I do the listening because I don't have that much to say. I should always be around talkers. 

I did the last of my chores in the evening and stayed up as long as I could, although I wanted to go to bed much earlier. I didn't want to upset my schedule, but in a way I do every night. At least I'm steady about it. 

Now it's time to finish sleeping. I will take my medicines and go back to bed for a while. I only have the domestic help coming here this afternoon. That's more than enough. 

Have a good day.

Ciao,

Nora

Executive decisions...

Yesterday I decided to find a way out of my depression and started out the day immediately with a dose of tranquilizers. This had me feeling well very soon and I went from a vegetative state, in which I achieved nothing, into a functioning one in which I got chores done almost cheerfully. 

Not only that, sitting in my armchair with a cup of coffee and a cigarette contemplating my navel turned into a fun activity again during which I felt very mellow and relaxed. I was not stressed about the things I had to get done and knew I would finish them all in good time. I had an overall change of attitude. 

With every dose of medicines I had to take during the day, I took a dose of tranquilizers and they kept me on an even keel. My mood was good and I didn't sink into the dark depths of despair, nor did I have any unwanted thoughts kidnapping my mind.

I got all of my chores done without feeling like they were overwhelming me. I took a break between each chore and rewarded myself with something to drink and a cigarette. This way, I painlessly got one chore done after another. Things should always be this easy. It made me realize how much stress I always walk around with regardless of the depression. 

Now I'm sitting here in the middle of the night with a cup of freshly made coffee and I feel good. That's also because I don't dread the coming day. I know I will be alright and that the day will not be a god awful battle to get through. It will not be filled with negativism and sadness. I will mostly be filled with peaceful feelings and the knowledge of that gives me courage.

But it's nice to be up in the middle of the night anyway and enjoy the peace and quiet of the darkness. It has stopped raining and it is a clear night. Yesterday we had a lot of rain and thunderstorms. There will be showers today and it won't be very warm. 

I will definitely have to wear a warm sweater when I go see my sister in the afternoon and I don't think that we will be sitting in her garden. We'd probably get rained on. I just stood outside by the back door to let out the dog and it was mighty chilly out there. Can you believe that for August? It's supposed to be balmy weather now, even at night. 

I best go back to sleep for a while. It isn't quite time to stay up yet. I have to go put my somewhat chilled body under the duvet. 

Have a great Sunday.

Ciao,

Nora

Quality time...

I had to put on my bathrobe because I was sitting here in my pajamas in the middle of the night getting decidedly cold after having had a glass of ice cold milk. I already had my requisite cups of coffee and, of course, I couldn't go past my limit. 

I didn't need to anyway because I felt good enough and they weren't warming up my stomach all that much. At least I'm not sitting here mindlessly drinking one cup after another until I'm sick of them. I do have enough sense to make just enough coffee for two cups and that's it.

I'm ever so much more comfortable in my bathrobe now. It envelops me like a warm blanket and I'm so cozy in it. It really isn't that cold in here, even though the bedroom windows are still open. It never does cool off in the apartment that quickly. That's a blessing in the wintertime and it hasn't been hot enough this summer for it to be a problem. 

Yesterday went by so quickly. It hardly felt like a full day at all. Of course, I slept for half of it because I didn't get up until past noontime and when I woke up, I thought it was still early because everything was so quiet. I was surprised to see what time it was on the alarm clock.

I had to sit and drink my two cups of coffee in peace and quiet and then slowly get ready to go see my sister and her friend, but I dawdled too long and had to rush in the end. I picked out my outfit in a hurry, but it was a good one and I felt comfortable in it. Pretty enough, anyway. 

The weather wasn't bad. There were clouds, but there also was enough sunshine and the temperatures weren't bad. We were able to sit in the garden and have a long conversation with cappuccinos. 

My sister's friend, who's a chemist, had made me a night creme based on honey. I had casually mentioned to him that I needed one for fine, dry skin and he had made it especially for me. It's very nice and it smells delicious. See how easily such a special wish can come true? You just have to know the right people.

When I got home, I walked the dog and watched sports on TV. Football season has started, so there were a lot of rundowns on the games that had been played. Everybody wants to win whatever league championship is coming up first and they are already calculating their chances. A little prematurely, I think. 

The news that I watched was all dire. There is no good news nowadays. You have to have a brave heart to watch it or be steeped in ignorance. Economic crises are being politicized. The financial markets are full of emotions. There's an undercurrent of panic. People are losing their heads. 

I try to stay calm because I'm nobody and don't count. I'm at the bottom of the ladder. A tiny little fish in the very big sea. A sardine. 

I hope you'll all have a good day.

Ciao,

Nora

Midnight thoughts...

I was sound asleep lying on my back, but I got a major wet burp all the way up into my nose and it tasted very bad. It nearly choked me and woke me up very quickly. I don't know why I have these weird things happening to me, but I blame it on my gastric band and the glass of milk I had before I went to sleep. It tasted good going down, but I can't say the same thing about it coming up. 

Needless to say, I was wide awake after that and ready to get up. Any excuse will do, really. I don't need much convincing to get up out of bed in the middle of the night. It's my pleasure completely. Luckily, it's not cold in the apartment and I'm wearing warm enough pajamas and socks, so I'm very comfortable.

The reason I was wearing socks to bed was because I had rubbed that good smelling lotion on my feet again after not having done so for a while. I had not quite made it a habit yet and as a result had gotten rough feet again. The lotion softens your feet very quickly and does your hands at the same time. It has a delicious scent that lasts for a long time and I can still smell it on my hands now.

I put clean sheets on the bed and had looked forward to going to sleep very much. I think I must not have been tired enough to have woken up so easily, though I didn't take a nap in the afternoon because I spent it with my sister and her friend. I slept late in the morning and only reluctantly got up. I had to double check to make sure I was really done sleeping so I would not be in a bad mood. 

I immediately made coffee and turned on the TV for some cultural programming. Luckily, I was still on time for that, though I watched some very boring avant garde music being played. I know you're supposed to like that, but I didn't. The musicians put in a lot of effort for some very uninteresting music. The body language was there and so were the facial expressions, but the product was a flop. You can't win them all. 

I put on my harem pants, but realized later on in the day that they don't show at all how skinny I am now, so I'm not going to wear them any more. I'm only going to wear my skinny jeans from now on and I have three pairs of them. There's always at least one clean pair. The harem pants have gotten way to big on me, although they are very comfortable to wear. I do have other choices of things to wear. The harem pants are going on the stack of obsolete clothes. The steadily growing stack. 

I'm drinking ice cold milk now and any moment my frontal lobe is going to freeze up and I won't be able to think straight. At least I'm not quite getting an ice cream headache. It does make me quite giddy, all that cold milk. I can never get enough of it. The first glass is empty in no time at all, but you must think of all the nighttime snacks I don't eat because of it. I would have to eat chocolates or something to get the same amount of satisfaction. Belgian bonbons would taste real good now. Instead I'll have another glass of milk. 

I'm not at all going to worry about tomorrow when the personal helper and the domestic help are going to be here. Or when my SPN is going to call me at 9 o'clock in the morning and I have to be coherent. I'll have to set the alarm clock for that so I'll at least have had a cup of coffee. It may be difficult to get up, but I'll have to manage it somehow. I hope I won't be grumpy. 

I was quite organized and even remembered to put out the trash. I've also got all the laundry drying on the rack in the bathroom. If I do another load tomorrow, I will be able to hang it outside. That is, if I'm that ambitious and go looking for laundry. 

I think I'll go back to bed now. I've rattled on long enough about nothing important at all. There are enough hours left to get some sleep. Bed is still an inviting place to go to. I just hope the milk doesn't back up into my nose again. 

Have a good morning when you get up. I hope you'll have good weather and I leave that open to your interpretation, 

Ciao,

Nora

The beguiling early morning...

I've just about had my cups of coffee and I'm more than awake and functioning. It is early in the morning and in a little while it will be dawn and the first birds will start to sing. At least, I hope they don't change their minds in this somewhat gloomy weather. It is going to be an overcast day with showers. 

I've been up for a little while because the dog barked and I had to silence him immediately for the sake of the neighbors. Needless to say, this caused me to be wide awake like it always does. It always startles me out of a sound sleep. It's a bad habit the dog has. 

It's not really all that bad to be awake now because I have a few chores to do before the day starts properly and putting out the trash is one of them. As usual, I forgot to do that last night. I can do it in just a little while before the trash men get here bright and early. I've got the bag all ready to go. All I have to do is haul it outside to the curb. 

I feel better now, but looking back, I can say that I had about four bad days when things weren't going well with me. Maybe it was for even a longer period of time and I was outshouting myself. I may have been uncomfortable with myself for as long as a week. I'm starting to feel back to 'normal' now. 

It necessitated me taking extra medication to make it through the day and I really thought that I was in it for the long haul. This was beside the increase that I had already made. I did discuss this with my psychiatrist and although he wasn't thrilled about it, he allowed it as long as it was necessary. I didn't need it yesterday and maybe now I can get back to the regular dose.

It's awful to be unbalanced and to feel that you are losing the direction over your daily life. To feel that you are entering a state of madness when you seriously doubt your own reasoning powers and your ability to make clear deductions about your thoughts. All roads lead you to the wrong place and that is into the dark hole where there is confusion. 

I don't feel that way now. I can think clearly again. 

It is my own sister who deduced yesterday that I always do badly when she is gone. She had just come back from a week in Italy and I think she is right. I think subconsciously I get very insecure when she is gone. I miss the daily contact that we have on the phone and the knowledge that she is very close by when I need her. If I need her. 

It's dawn now, but for some reason I have not heard the birds sing. Maybe I missed the early concert completely. I have switched to drinking cold milk and very welcome that is too. The dog is sitting in front of the window waiting for the trash men to come by. He does know the Monday morning ritual after having watched me put out the bag. 

I've got to choose my clothes for today and they have to be warm. It's not going to be such a comfortable day outside. The temperatures will be low and there will be wind. I will walk the dog early and then I will tackle the chores. 

The other night, I watched the film 'Angels and Insects' on YouTube. Now I've seen the film before I've finished the book. I'm still interested in the book because I'm sure lots of detail was left out in the film. 

I didn't realize that you could watch whole movies on YouTube and I wonder which other ones are available. I know that the very first 'Harry Potter' is on there. I am going to see what other kinds of movies I can find there that I'm interested in.

Right, I'll get the show on the road. I hope you'll all have a good day. Low pressure systems notwithstanding. 

Ciao,

Nora

An innocent dog...

He is sound asleep in the armchair now and you wouldn't think that he is guilty of waking me up out of a sound sleep, but he is, that darn dog. He had to go out and do a piddle and as a result I am sitting here somewhat grumpy and not quite awake with a cup of coffee. 

He was softly barking at me to let me know that he needed to go out and he couldn't be ignored. It's very irritating to listen to when you are trying to sleep because he keeps it up at a steady pace. There's no rest for the wicked or even for those who have been good as gold. 

Now he is sleeping the sleep of the innocents, not even the cat can wake him, and I'm sitting here yawning. But I will be alright after another cup of coffee and not be grumpy any longer. I already feel my mood improve after this first cup. You can't keep a good woman down forever. At least not for the duration of the night.

Speaking of keeping a good woman down, in two weeks time I am going to start decreasing my anti-psychotics in 0.5 mg increments. My psychiatrist has decided that I'm going to do it very slowly so as not to cause any mood disturbances. He said that we should have learned our lessons from the past and not decrease them too quickly. 

I can only concur and agree to this course of action. I want to decrease a total of 2 mg so that will take me several weeks. I'm much less cocky and assured of myself than I was at earlier attempts when I overestimated my ability to decrease them. I think I actually got in trouble because of that attitude. Hopefully this time things will go much better. 

I got a flat tire on the way home from seeing my psychiatrist and had to walk my way home with my bike. Luckily, it wasn't too far. I have to pump up my tire and see if it is a true leak or just a slowly emptying tire. If it is the latter, the tire won't have to be patched, which will save a lot of work. For the Exfactor anyway. 

I had a nice enough day. Nothing too exciting happened, which is fine with me. I like uneventful days for the most part. I talked to both my sisters on the phone and listened to their tales of woe, leaving me feeling frustrated. And then having to push away that feeling because there's nothing I can do about any of it. Their's are ongoing sagas that seem to have no endings. 

That's why I like my life uncomplicated. There's enough excitement in the lives of the people around me. I function as a sounding board. I hear it all. I would hate to have complications in my own life on top of that. I do appreciate the simplicity of my days. 

Yesterday we had beautiful weather. The sky was blue and the sun was shining all day. Today things are going to look a little differently. It's going to be colder and overcast and rainy and it's going to stay cooler for the next couple of days.

That means a change of clothes and I will have to look through my closet and see what is appropriate. Hopefully, something fun will jump out at me. I'm sure there are still forgotten clothes there that I will rediscover.

I've got to go and rediscover my bed. It's time to sleep some more. 

I hope you're all having a good night. 

Ciao,

Nora

On a hot Sunday in May...

The dog wouldn't let me sleep tonight. Every time I had dozed off, he woke me up by barking very softly but insistently beside the bed. Of course, I got up each time to find out what he wanted, but never could figure it out. The fourth time I gave up and stayed up and now he 's lying beside my feet, sound asleep as if nothing is bothering him. 

I suppose he just didn't want me to be asleep in bed. He's done this before and seems to prefer me up and present in the living room while he sleeps soundly in my vicinity. I seem to function as his guardian angel, which is fine, but I do also need to get my sleep eventually. 

I had already taken my 'falling asleep medicines' and I'm now a little stoned. I'm trying to get over that by drinking some coffee. I don't know how well it's going to work. I've had one cup and I'm waiting to see how it will affect me, but I've already made the second cup just to be sure. I'm yawning something awful and really have to get over this sleepiness. 

It's not such a pleasant feeling at all. I feel a little sweaty and drunk as if I'm coming down with something. I don't recommend doing this at all. Of course, I'm sitting around in my bathrobe, which I should not be at all because it is too hot, but I didn't want to sit around half naked late at night. I think I ought to shed the bathrobe.

I feel like drinking about 5 glasses of cold lemonade, one after the other. I'm very thirsty, but that must be because it's been another warm day and the apartment has still not cooled off. The air is very dry also. I spent the afternoon in my sister's garden sitting in the shade because it was too hot to sit in the sun. We wore the least amount of clothes possible and drank cold beers in elegant glasses. 

My sister and I made a big joke about having the best possible posture and showing the most amount of cleavage, the flattest stomach and the most tucked in bottom, but decided it couldn't be done while shaking someone's hand and saying, "How do you do?" at the same time.  We practiced that and it was impossible and hilarious.  

Because we did this in Dutch, her Italian friend couldn't figure out what we were doing, so every time we said, "How do you do?" to him, he thought we had gone bonkers, while we were just trying to show lots of cleavage, but apparently it didn't show up.

Then I had to ride my bike home and got exercise induced asthma because the air was so dry. There must have been lots of pollen in it. I had to sit and rest a while when I got home. I didn't have an inhaler to use. The one I have is ancient. I got over it by doing breathing exercises and being calm and serene. I do have to get another inhaler just in case for this summer. It's better to be safe than sorry.

I'm over the worst of my sleepiness now, but I think I will still be able to go back to bed when I'm done with this. I just hope the dog is agreeable to it. The cat was lying beside my pillows, very cozy, all rolled up. She was settled down for the night and we disturbed her beauty sleep. At least she got to have another little bowl of milk. She never turns that down and she still likes the new kibbles. The cat is most satisfied. That's one out of three anyway.

I've lost another 1.4 kilos and now have another 0.5 kilos left to lose. Next, I'm going to try for another 5 kilos, but I don't know if it is possible. I will not make an extra effort, but just keep eating as I am. If I don't make it, I will be satisfied with the weight I am. I will have to have corrective surgery done to get rid of all the loose skin on my belly and stomach. I think my insurance company pays for it. 

I will make an effort to go back to bed now. I do need my sleep. I'm not going to say 'beauty sleep'  because I'm beyond that. The dog is snoring by my feet. I've let him out back and have given him a rawhide bone, so I hope he is satisfied. 

I hope you're all having a good night. Sleep tight!

Ciao,

Nora

Late night thoughts...

My sister had given me a package of organically grown coffee and I made a pot of it just now, but I have to say that I don't like the taste of it very much. I made it just as strong as I made the regular coffee, but it doesn't pack a punch. You can't look a gift horse in the mouth and I will finish it all up, although it is with a bit of resistance. Maybe I will get used to the taste of it after a few pots, but organically grown is not necessarily better.

It was coffee she no longer used because she has a complicated Krupp machine now that makes all sorts of coffee and grinds whole beans. Before that, I never thought I had a decent cup of coffee at her house, but I thought she was just not very good at making coffee. Now I understand why that was. She made the coffee too weak and it was organic. Another mystery solved. 

Her Italian friend tweaked the Krupp machine yesterday and fixed me a most excellent cappuccino in a tall glass that I really savored, so I know now to always have him make my cappuccinos. It must be because he's Italian that he knows how to fix them so well. The milk was foamed to perfection.

As we speak a mixture of Dutch and English and Italian when we are together, we are all starting to understand each other in these languages. We switch from one to another without realizing that we do, although I'm very limited in Italian. I did guess the correct word for pillow, which is 'il cushino.'  

We sat in the garden in the sunshine and as I sat with my back towards the sunlight, I've got a tan line there and on my shoulders. My dress was low cut in the back. The fence blocked the cool wind that was blowing and it was lovely. We moved our chairs as the shade of the house moved across the garden. 

On the fields by my apartment, the dandelions have all gone to seed, but the daisies are still blooming. There is also purple clover now and there are yellow buttercups all over. I've even see the first pink poppies. It is a joy to walk the dog and to discover the new wildflowers. There are some other very small ones in different colors, but they are so little, that they hardly show up. There are bees buzzing around now too, but luckily I have no fear of them. I've never been stung by one. 

All in all, it was a wonderful lazy day yesterday as Sundays should be. It was truly a day of rest and I didn't even get around to doing the dishes that I should have done. I was also going to change my bed, but I didn't get around to that either. Those will be jobs for today. That's what Mondays are for, after all. I do have a clean set of sheets and pillow cases. It's the pillow cases that I always run out of. I have to get more of those with four pillows on my bed.

I'm truly thankful for the mood I find myself in. It's neither high nor low, but nicely in between. I guess I'm doing something right. If only I could figure out what the magic ingredients are, I would keep adding them every day. I would subtract whatever did not fit into the picture. It's such a relief to be balanced. I'd wish for it every day. I suppose that would bring me the greatest happiness. 

I've had a glass of milk, but the taste of that coffee is still in the back of my mouth. It really isn't very good. I think that maybe I will just keep it for emergencies. There's no sense in drinking something against your will. That's not what life is all about. You always need to find the most enjoyable experience as long as you don't hurt anyone with it. I'm sure my sister won't mind if I don't like her coffee. I don't think she was too thrilled about it herself, but bought it out of a sense of responsibility. She had a wacky little coffeemaker when she moved to her new house until the Krupp machine arrived.

I've got to think about going to bed, although I'm not nearly ready to. I'm enjoying the peace of the nighttime too much. 

I hope you're all sleeping tightly or are about to. 

Ciao,

Nora

Exist only here...

I'm existing in a dream state because I just woke up from an hour long nap and I'm really not properly awake. I've decided to remain like this as long as I possibly can because I feel untouchable, as if reality has nothing to do with me. It is very pleasant and I don't want anything to come along and burst my bubble.

In order to make this feeling last, I've just taken a tranquilizer and I hope that I will transition slowly from the sleep induced state of mind into the medicinal induced state of mind. I don't want there to be the least amount of upset. I want to feel as tranquil as I feel now for the rest of the day. Whatever it takes to get there... So help me God. 

My first ex-husband, the American, is going to be in town the weekend of the 15th. He hadn't told me about this, but contacted my sister whose house he will stay at. I haven't had contact with him in quite a few years and have been satisfied with that. As far as it has been possible, I have dealt with the past and I thought that he was a closed chapter in my book.

When my sister let me know that he was going to be here, I at first reacted like she did and thought it might be a fun thing, but soon after that I began to change my mind. I realized that in fact I had all sorts of unfinished business with him, but that the only way to deal with that would be in a therapeutic environment guided by a good psychologist. I could not just casually meet him at my sister's house and have a cup of coffee and dinner and a glass of wine and talk about the weather and other unimportant issues like we were bound to. 

I let my sister know last night that I didn't want to meet my ex because of this and she was full of understanding. A weight fell off my shoulders and I'm so glad that I made this decision. I would have had to play act and that would have been against my own principles. It wouldn't have served any purpose other than to again give him the sense that everything was great as usual, which is something that I've always done. I've never had 'the' confrontation with him or let him know any of my grievances. I just left

On top of everything, the 16th is our late son's birthday and that is always a bit of a tough day. I certainly don't need any extra stress on top of it.

Well, that will get you out of your bubble of tranquility, won't it? I will move right back into it again. I will smoke a cigarette and contemplate my navel for a while.

Have a good day.

Ciao,

Nora

Tea doesn't do the job...

I tried to wake up with a cup of tea, but it left me very grumpy and grouchy, so that was not a success. The reason I had the tea, was that I had to open a new vacuum sealed package of coffee and I was not in the mood for that first thing when I got up. I just couldn't face the struggle of opening it up and pouring the coffee into the glass containers before I could make a pot. So I chose the easy way out and microwaved a cup of tea. It did nothing for me, except leave me in a bad mood. 

Of course, then I was very motivated to open that darn package and make coffee. It didn't turn out to be too frustrating a job by then. I was quite up to dealing with it. I'm very happy to say that I'm having my second cup now and that I'm beginning to feel a lot better. My coffeemaker is kind to me and doesn't take too long to turn out a fresh pot. I don't have to wait endlessly. My craving is soon satisfied.

I went to bed very early last night because I simply was done with the day and had read my book and there was nothing decent on television. In the book a gruesome murder had just been discovered and I figured that was a good place to stop reading lest my imagination started working overtime. The investigating team was just off to start looking for a second body, which I'm sure was going to be an equally gruesome discovery. It was a lot to take in all at once. 

Television on weekend nights is pitiful. You can't count on it for your entertainment, unless you are a vegetable and have no functioning brain cells. They must save the worst programs for the weekends when everybody is otherwise committed and only really dull and less challenged people stay home.  The kind who don't know that the television has an off button. 

My sister and I sat in the sunshine in her garden yesterday afternoon and I had cappuccinos while she drank tea. It was wonderful. All the bulb plants had come up and were blooming or were about to bloom. The violets were brightly purple and blue. The hydrangeas were getting new leaves and the perennials were starting to pop out of the ground. We got a little bit of color from the sun and discussed world issues. We agreed on most everything and exchanged information about what we'd read and heard and seen. It had been a while since we'd had a good conversation. It gives you food for thought. 

Tyke and Gandhi were happy when I got home and Tyke got a belly rub and then a walk. When we got back, Gandhi got to lie on my lap for a while. I do have to keep both animals happy. 

I'm sufficiently tired now to go back to bed. I do have to put the trash out. I forgot to do that last night. I have to set the alarm clock because my personal helper is going to be here later this morning. I do want ample time to wake up before she gets here, otherwise I won't be communicative enough. 

Have a super day.

Ciao,

Nora

Summer Time...

I was already in bed and sound asleep when the dog started to bark. It startled me awake and I decided to get up to prevent him from barking again because that's the last thing I want. I had already set all the clocks and my watch one hour ahead before I went to bed, so to me it is an hour later now than it still really is. The time won't change until 2 am and it is not that yet. At least I am well prepared and I won't be fooled by what time it is in the morning when I get up for the second time. Believe me, there's logic in there somewhere. It all makes sense to me in a slightly convoluted way. 

So, I'm sitting here now being wide awake, having my coffee and my cigarettes, with a very quiet dog at my feet,  Of course, he had to go out back first before he would settle down and I was quite nervous that he would start to bark out there too, but he did no such thing, thank goodness. There's nothing like the unpredictability of a dog to make you feel on edge in the middle of the night when your neighbors are asleep. My adrenalin rushed through my body until he was inside again, especially since I have a grumpy neighbor who likes to complain about nothing at all.

Saturday went by well and it was a good day. The only thing I forgot to do was pick out a new novel from the bookcase. I never did get around to that because I didn't get a chance to sit in my armchair to read. 

In the morning I slept for a long time to catch up on the sleep I didn't get during the night and it was blessed. I woke up in an excellent mood and totally well rested and not under the influence of the effects of the new sleeping pills that I had stopped taking. Apparently the effects of those babies kept working all day long and did all sorts of things with me that weren't pleasant. I'm not going to try any others. I'll just live with things the way they are now and consider myself a night person. I do get my sleep eventually and that's the main thing. I haven't become psychotic yet because of lack of sleep. 

I took my time picking out an outfit that I wanted to be especially comfortable besides looking good. Comfort was the main thing, though. I wanted to feel easy in it and not have to worry about everything constantly being in place and looking well arranged. I have a couple of outfits that I feel especially comfortable in and I opted for one of those. I can sit as unladylike in it as I want when nobody is around. and it always looks good and is warm enough to wear. I would wear it every day if I could, but it it does have to go into the washing every now and then. 

It's a black, long sleeved, stretch T-shirt dress with a low slung belt that I wear over leggings with a lightweight cardigan on top that's open at the front. It makes me look slimmer than I am and therefor it's flattering. At my age, I need all of that I can get. 

I had to go to the tobacco shop and I remembered to pick out a card for my grandson who is going to be 14 years old in a couple of weeks. I must send the card with contents on time because he lives in the States. I even remembered to pick up a couple of lighters because those things always run out of fuel prematurely. Before you know it, you're left without the means to light your cigarettes. The only thing I forgot to buy was a chocolate bar, but I have chocolate pudding in the refrigerator and I get to have some of that every day so that takes care of that craving. When that is gone, I still have yogurt on which I sprinkle some sugar. I do have to take care of my sweet tooth. 

I watched an international indoor bike racing competition on television in which we finally won a bronze and gold medal on the third day, which is a good thing because the event is held in the Netherlands on a newly built course. We had higher hopes than that, but there's one day of competition left. Dutch people always expect to be the best at all sports and are surprised when we aren't. We assume we belong to the world top in everything. Maybe we are naive optimists. Or maybe we really are fairly good at a lot of things. We have a lot of gumption for a little country and great fans all decked out in orange at every occasion. 

As soon as I'm done writing this, I'm going to choose a novel from the bookcase and put it ready for me to start reading by my armchair. I'm very curious as to what I will find there. I've got to get myself into the proper mood to read. I would really like a thriller and hope I can find one. An Inspector Linley would be nice. I need light entertainment, nothing too intellectual. My brain can't handle anything that's too deep and introspective. No high drama. You'll see the book magically appear on my sidebar.

I'm going to see my sister this afternoon. I haven't seen her in forever. She's always got such a busy life. We do keep daily contact by telephone, but it's not the same as seeing each other. I will drink good cappuccinos and eat Italian cookies of which I will only be able to eat two and then I will be full and I will burp a lot, but it will be worth it. 

Have a great day you all. It's now officially summer time. 

Ciao,

Nora

Whatever feels right...

I've slept enough and I feel that I'm ready to face the day. I don't feel any dread because today is Monday. I'm excited about it, as a matter of fact. Not that there is anything in particular to be excited about. Nothing special is going to happen, except that the sun is going to shine today, although it will be cold, but that's a small price to pay for sunshine. 

It's been so dreary lately that I'll more than welcome the sun. I've seen enough gray skies for a while, even if no rain falls out of them. Some rain would have been nice, there would have been a purpose to all the clouds that covered the sky, although it's a good thing that the wintry showers that were predicted for yesterday didn't materialize. Snow and rain would not have been welcome. It's a good thing that the predictions turn out wrong so often. 

I visited my sister yesterday and had two cappuccinos and two Italian cookies that made me burp even though I dunked them, which made them very easy to eat. It's very hard to indulge in something good. It's best done when on my own, but I never have cookies in the apartment, especially not Italian ones. It does make me eat very little of something sinful. I don't need to worry about gaining weight because I'm over indulging. 

It was cold on my bike and I wore a scarf and gloves. There was a cold wind blowing. I pedaled as quickly as I could to get out of the cold.  Luckily, because it was Sunday, there was not a lot of traffic and I could go fast and not worry about getting into an accident. I hardly hit the brakes. All that exercise is good for my knee and the more I use it, the less it hurts. It's when I sit and do nothing that it starts to bother me. 

My nephew had borrowed some English language novels from me to read for his English class and he had settled on Beloved from Toni Morrison, which I think is an excellent book to read. I hope he enjoys it as much as I did and that he gets a good grade on it. It was not the book that I thought he was going to choose. I thought it was going to be too difficult for him to read. I put it in the selection because I thought it was a challenge. He took me up on it.

Tyke was very happy to see me when I came home. He wagged his whole body and we had quite a welcoming ceremony. Poor Gandhi didn't stand a chance. She had to be greeted later when things had calmed down and she could sit on my lap. The animals aren't alone much because I'm not gone very often, so it's a big deal when I have been. They act like abandoned children. 

I think I will go do some chores. I didn't do much yesterday on account of it being Sunday. Things do accumulate. 

Have a nice day.

Ciao,

Nora

Storm...

It's storming outside, making it feel cold inside too while it really isn't. It just makes you feel that way. The wind is noisily blowing down the street. I feel chilled even with my warm bathrobe on. It sounds like an autumn storm in February. At least it's not nearly cold enough to freeze, so that's a blessing. We do have to keep looking at the  positive side of things. It just as easily could be cold and snowing now, because it is the time of year for it and last year it did.

For a change I slept through the night while I dreamed many interesting dreams and woke up a couple of times in a sweat, but went back to sleep again immediately. I was very busy during the night, you might say. I even attempted to speak Spanish, but it came out as French. I never did learn enough Spanish to get around well, not even in my dreams. I keep dreaming about my first ex-husband who then proceeds to have pity parties and tries to make me feel guilty and do things I don't want to do. I do resist him and stick to my guns. I don't like dreaming about him and wonder why I still do. I must have some unfinished business with him. 

I'm having my cups of coffee now and very welcome they are too. I was fully awake when I got up, but I do need my coffee to really start functioning. I think I've had enough now and that I will switch to cold milk, because I'm thirsty.I would drink lemonade or juice if they would agree with my stomach better. Milk seems to settle the best, but everything makes me burp. That's because in my eagerness to quench my thirst, I drink it quickly. 

I always wake up with a very sore knee, but once I get up and start moving around, it gets better. It's when I sit in one position too long that it starts to bother me. Especially sleeping seems to be the worst thing for it. I sleep on my side and must lie in a way that hurts my knee the most. I don't get the feeling that it's getting better, but I suppose that I have to be patient. I am a middle aged lady, after all, and things may take longer to heal.

I ended up not going to my psychiatrist yesterday, because my appointment was for in the evening and I didn't feel like going out in the dark and cold weather. I canceled it and made a new appointment for next week during the day. That means I'm staying on these doses of medicines for now. That's okay. There's no need to rush the reductions. I just now feel that I'm at ease with the latest reduction, because I was a little bit wobbly every once in a while, although I wasn't sure it was because of that. It could have been because of anything. It's better to wait a while and to be sure of myself.

I went to my sister yesterday afternoon and had espressos and Italian cookies. The espressos always perk me up wonderfully and I don't need coffee for the rest of the day. The cookies were good, they were made of whole wheat flour  and only my gastric band prevented me from eating more than two of them. Which reminds me that I forgot to go on the bathroom scale this morning. Apparently I'm not clearheaded enough to think of that. 

The Exfactor is supposed to be here today and so is the domestic help. I will have to clean up the kitchen and change my bed before that time. Another load of laundry is just what I need. At least I feel awake enough to tackle that. 

Here's hoping you'll all have a good day!

Ciao,

Nora

It's 2011...

I realized that this time Christmas and New Year's Eve weren't as bad as last year, because they were the second time since my divorce that I lived through them on my own. The first time was much harder. I was very consciously aware that I was on my own and I felt sorry for myself. I had no such problem this time and made it through just fine. I felt very independent and sure of myself and like the solitude was a choice and not something that was forced on me. I was comfortable with my own company and I didn't feel lonely. 

Last night, at the stroke of midnight, I cuddled and kissed Tyke and wished myself a Happy New Year. I couldn't cuddle and kiss Gandhi, because she was hiding from the noise of the fireworks. She didn't show up until an hour later. I petted her then and she followed me to the bedroom where I could finally get into bed along with Tyke very cozily. I was asleep soon after that. It does wear you out to listen to a barrage of fireworks for nearly one hour. 

Tyke did well. He was a little bit scared, but stayed close to me and I petted him the whole time and soothed his sometimes trembling body. He didn't bark or whine and I thought he was very brave. 

I'm very much aware that this is a new year and I do have certain expectations of it. I have not really made any resolutions. I still have the ones I made along the line last year and I'll continue on with those. They are very simple ones. Just some things I have determined to do for myself. Eat healthy, live frugally, be social and look at the bright side of things. Learn lessons from everything that happens. Nothing happens by chance. 

It's late in the morning now and I have been sitting here for a while drinking coffee as if I have a hangover. I drank milk at midnight. No alcohol for me. I would have enjoyed a cold white beer, but I didn't have any in the refrigerator. I survived without it too. It isn't necessary to celebrate every significant event with booze. It's a myth that it puts us in a better mood. Alcohol is a depressant, so who needs that? 

I'm going to see my sister and her friend this afternoon. She will come and get me so I won't have to ride my bike through the sludge that is the thawing snow and ice. That's a relief. I must eat something before I go. To celebrate the new year, I will eat something festive from my care package. The best thing I've been eating from it was the aged cheese. I have a piece of that every day and it's quite good. I'm down to the last piece now and I will have that tonight, providing I have room in my stomach. It depends on what else I've eaten. 

I must get dressed in something festive too. I must enter the new year correctly with the right amount of color. It won't do to look drab. 

Tyke and I will take a walk through what's left of the snow. There's actually quite a bit of it still. It isn't thawing fast enough for me and on Sunday night it is supposed to start freezing again. I hope they got that prediction wrong, because the street isn't nearly clean yet. It will be nice to be out in the fresh air and not break my neck in my new boots. They have proved to be very steady.

Hava Happy New Year all of you! May it be the best year ever. 

Ciao,

Nora

Slipping and sliding...

Today it is Second Christmas Day in the Netherlands, which is also an official holiday, so even if it weren't Sunday, all life would have still come to a halt. Luckily, it is Sunday, so I won't notice anything of it. That's the fortunate thing about having the holidays on the weekend. 

Still, it does give you a little bit of a festive feeling and that isn't half bad. It does put you in a special mood, you can't help yourself, and you do feel as if you've got something to celebrate. 

Besides, it's hard not to notice all the Christmas specials on television, although they do get awfully sentimental and people get so carried away by them. I suppose that some of the broadcasting networks feel the need to reassert that we're a Christian nation. It's just an observation I'm making. It's not a judgment. A whole theological and social debate could be held about that. It's not an idea to dismiss so easily. 

My sister and I made the town walk yesterday afternoon with the guide and a small group of people. It was cold outside and very slippery in the streets. I had to hold on tightly to my sister so as to not fall down. My boots were absolutely useless, they gave me no grip whatsoever. She prevented me from falling over quite a few times. She was wearing snow boots which worked quite a bit better.

The walk was interesting and we found out all sorts of little details that we had no idea of. We trekked all through downtown and had a break at a cafe halfway through, where I was even allowed to smoke, because they were officially closed to the public and only open to tour groups. I had a delicious cup of coffee there, that warmed my stomach and gave me the energy for the rest of the walk. There was also an opportunity to eat thick slices of raisin bread, filled with almond paste, with real butter on it, but I decided better not to try that. 

We visited the two oldest basilicas and the crypt of the oldest bishop, but we found out that it was empty, because all of his bones had been taken out to be used as relics. He was considered that holy. The stone threshold to this crypt had been completely worn down into a hollow over the centuries by pilgrims visiting it.

The terraces of the cafes were open, but they were all heated and on each chair there was a blanket to keep the customers warm. Unfortunately, we didn't sit down there. I would have enjoyed that very much. I'm a real terrace visitor. I do enjoy watching the people come by while sipping a beverage. 

My sister and I had taken the car downtown, although none of the streets had been cleaned. I think they're running out of salt. There were tracks in the snow to follow where enough traffic had passed. The car has front wheel drive, so there really was no problem. There was a true winter landscape all around us, though. It really was pretty if you didn't have to walk in it. On that slippery ice downtown. 

I had a nice time the rest of the day with the animals and took it easy. I talked to my daughter in the evening and it was good to hear her happy voice. I went to bed on time, tired as I was from my afternoon out, and I fell asleep quickly. Tyke greeted me this morning with much enthusiasm, but that was because he needed to go out, although it's possible that he loves me a little bit too. 

I don't have any plans for today. I'll just let it unwind and see where it goes. I have some chores to do, so those will keep me occupied for a while. I'm not worried about being bored. There will be enough to occupy me (I've got that book to read).

The first thing I'm going to do is go back to bed. I have more sleep in me. It will be quite cozy there. 

Have a good morning!

Ciao,

Nora

Don't tell me it's Monday already!

Yes, you can get used to the lazy days of the weekend it seems. Even I, who usually dislikes the weekends, can get used to them. It's nice to hardly have a care in the world, like I did yesterday when I pretended I was snowed in. I had gotten up early and written a post for another blog and gone back to bed. When I got up, it started snowing and it snowed all afternoon, adding a fresh layer to the snow that was already there. I dare not guess how much snow there is now, but it's a lot by our standards.

I must say that I kind of like it. I like the snow, but I don't like the ice that's underneath it, that's the drawback. The snow is lovely and for all I care it keeps snowing, but then I really don't have to be anywhere far away from here. The furthest I have to go this week is the office of my SPN and I can walk there. My poor sister has to fly home from Milan and I hope she will make it, because the weather is bad everywhere in Europe and where will she land? 

If you're not  on the road, the snow is nice. It makes you feel that the world has gotten a lot smaller and it has in reality, because your radius of action becomes more restricted. You really do stick close to home. I did anyway, but I feel that I have a legitimate reason now. Nobody expects me to go anywhere far away and far away could be as close as downtown. I'm happy in my little world. I would have made a good villager if I had lived a long time ago. 

It's early in the morning and I'm having my coffee, but I've just about had enough of it. I'm very thirsty and I need to drink something very cool and refreshing. All the juice is gone, so I'm thinking of a glass of lemonade. The Exfactor is going to be here tomorrow to do the groceries. He already sent me an email to tell me that he would be here. He isn't bothered by the weather, but it looks like it isn't going to snow anymore. As a matter of fact, there is rain in the forecast. That's a bummer. The temperatures are going to rise and the snow and ice will melt. Oh well, clean streets are nice too. We had those for a little while before. At least the ice will be gone. 

I'm expecting my personal helper and the domestic help today, so I must do some chores. I never did get around to those yesterday. I had a completely lazy day and didn't do a thing. I truly did have a day of rest. I have lots of time to putter around this morning. The first thing I will do is take a shower and get dressed in a brand new outfit. I will have to look through my closet and see what's there. I'm sure I'll find something of interest that's warm enough. It has to be something at least mildly exciting. Something that I will be happy to wear. 

I'm going to be reading a new book by a blogging friend of mine. Her name is Laurie Hertzel and the name of the book is: News To Me, Adventures of an Accidental Journalist.  It's a book I've been looking forward to reading and I just received it in the mail this weekend. Knowing Laurie's way of writing, I'm sure I'll enjoy it very much. I'm not a literature critic, but I'll let you know what I think of it when I'm done with it. I can only read it during the day. It is too dangerous to take to bed with me at night, because Tyke will get a hold of it and destroy it. I sure as heck don't want that to happen, although Laurie suggested that maybe he could nibble around the edges for Toby's sake. Toby was her first dog and is pictured on the back cover. 

Okay, I'm getting the show on the road. I'm off to pick out an outfit. 

Have a nice day, everyone!

Ciao,

Nora

The awakening...

I've just had 2 cups of coffee, but because of my gastric band I'm awfully full and I'll have to wait with my third cup for a while. I can't drink it now, because I feel a lot of pressure on my esophagus. Sometimes that's the way things go and I'll have to wait for everything to drain down to my stomach.

Anyway, it's early in the morning and for a change I didn't get up in the middle of the night. Well, I did to go to the toilet, but I had enough sense to go back to bed so as to not upset my natural rhythm. At least, what is supposed to be my natural rhythm. If I can just have the sense to keep doing this, I will be in much better shape during the day and not have to sleep so much. 

I will be able to to do this as long as I don't get a hypo-manic mood and upset the applecart. That's what it all revolves around. I had a few moments last night when I was lying in bed, when I felt like getting up and not going to sleep, but I talked myself out of it and stayed in bed. I can make myself hypo-manic by doing something like that, by giving in to the feeling. So, a lot of it depends on my attitude too and if I can resist the urge for a heightened mood. 

Yesterday went by very quickly for a Sunday. Of course, I spent a large part of it asleep, after I went back to bed early in the morning. I slept until noontime and woke myself up slowly with a cup of coffee in my armchair. Tyke was sitting on my lap, because he thinks he's a lap dog. He's a little bit too large to actually be one, but I don't let him know this.

I took about an hour to come to my senses and then turned on the computer and got dressed. Outside it was raining cats and dogs. Even Tyke didn't want to go outside. He did a piddle by the back door, against the tree closest to the apartment, and scooted back inside. 

I spent time answering emails and reading blogs. I drank milk and juice because I was so thirsty. I knew I was going to have coffee with my sister and didn't want to have any at home. During the day, a little bit of coffee goes a long way, even though I make it less strong now. I've been drinking less coffee and making the ground coffee last a lot longer. 

At three o'clock my sister came and got me and we drove to her house where her dog greeted me enthusiastically. I always make a big deal out of greeting him as if he's the most important person there. He gets his ball and I have to try and get it from him. He's just like Tyke. Different dog, same behavior. 

My sister and I got up to date with each other because, although we had talked on the phone, there's always a lot we have to discuss face to face. We never run out of material to talk about. Of course, just by being females we share a lot. More than anything, that's what we have in common. Being ex-wives and mothers and modern women in today's society and being politically aware, all those sort of things bind us. 

No, I promised myself I wouldn't get into deeper discussions than this on my blogs. I have many opinions, but I'm not going to air them. I will keep those to myself. This is not that kind of a forum. I will keep this shallow and self centered. 

My sister made me cafe au lait, which was delicious and very kind to my stomach. She had chocolate and little cakes, both of which I resisted and I was proud of myself. If I'm going to stick to a sensible diet, I'm not going to blow it at the first opportunity I get. My system likes me a lot better if I don't eat those things. I do have to keep that in mind. 

It had stopped raining just before three o'clock, so when I got home I immediately walked Tyke, who took full advantage of the opportunity and I walked him again later on in the evening, although that was a less rewarding trip. It was cold out too, because the layer of clouds was gone, causing what little warmth there was to disappear.  It's time for warmer clothes again. I'm all set in that department. I have no shortage of them. 

I watched the 5km speed skating and saw a Dutchman win, which was gratifying and he was a nice guy too, which makes it even better. I'll cheer for anybody who has a sympathetic character, especially if he's Dutch, but really anybody if he's a good sportsman. Or she, of course. I do like to watch speed skating, as I think it's such a graceful and powerful sport at the same time.  

It's time to get dressed and walk Tyke. It 43F out there, so I must dress warm. It will be nice to get some fresh air, but I'm not looking forward to the cold. 

I hope you all have a nice day.

Ciao,
Nora