Doing what comes naturally...

I've just taken the dog for a walk in the crisp evening air. It was truly autumn out there and it felt so good. I loved the way the cold air felt on my face. It was invigorating and renewing and it cheered me up tremendously. It was like drinking ice cold milk, I almost couldn't get enough of it. That's why it's so nice to drink a cup of hot coffee now. It warms up my stomach and my extremities. 

The caffeine itself cheers me up tremendously too, of course. I wouldn't drink coffee if weren't for that. I associate the taste with the effect. I doubt very much if I would drink it if I were not to get some kind of kick out of it. Let's face it, coffee doesn't really taste all that great. It's just another addiction. One that you get rid off if you go live on a deserted island, or so I imagine. I imagine that a lot when I consider my addictions. 

It's dark outside now and I've turned on the lights in the living room. It's quite cozy in here. The dog is asleep in the armchair and the cat is asleep on the sofa. All is well with the world. At least in this little corner of it. I can't speak for the world at large, it's way too big and complicated. I'm sure there are many people on this earth who would want to trade places with me and I would say, "Who would want to live this boring and uneventful life?" But I'm sure it looks quite safe from the outside. 

I should be happy now because tomorrow is Friday and that's got to be one of my favorite days of the week. The Exfactor will be here to have a cup of coffee and to do some groceries and my new domestic help will be here in the afternoon. After that it will be as good as the weekend in my eyes. It will be time to relax, although I must say that I've done a lot of that during the week and that I've not felt stressed at all. I think the time of anxiety ridden weekdays is over. I mostly don't get too worked up much anymore.

It's nice to be able to be relaxed and to not feel stress all the time. I'm glad I'm off the tranquilizers because I think they were a big cause of that. It will be really great to get off the sleeping pill as well, although I don't know how much influence it has on my state of mind. I'm less aware of that. I'm curious to find out how much it does. 

I've got to go and watch the news. I'm all done saying what I had to say anyway. Mostly I was just blathering. Filling the 'page' with my words. 

I hope you'll all have a great evening.

Ciao,

Nora

A few cups of coffee...

I was getting worried about myself and thought that I was maybe feeling the effects of the reduction of my medication. I felt negative and emotional and couldn't talk myself out of it. Then a brilliant idea hit me and I thought that maybe I was going through caffeine withdrawal. I'd only had two cups today. I quickly made a pot of coffee and now I'm drinking my second cup. I feel a lot better already, so my hunch was right and that problem was easily solved. 

I do have my addictions, but I guess my anti-psychotics aren't one of them. Caffeine and nicotine are, but I had been ready to take another pill and I'm glad I didn't. I'm glad the solution of the coffee presented itself to me first, because I would have lived under a mistaken illusion. I would have thought that I could not reduce my medication any further and that would have been a shame. I'm doing such a good job at reducing them and I'm kind of proud of myself that I've gotten this far already. I would not have thought it was possible. 

It's just below freezing outside, but it's nice and warm in here. I have the blinds drawn and the heater on and I'm warmly dressed. I'm glad it's evening and I'm ready to make the most of it. It's my goal to really enjoy this Friday night. Not that there's anything on television, I'll have to find another way to amuse myself. That shouldn't be too difficult. I do have some imagination and then there's always the radio to listen to. 

I've always been fond of a good political discussion and I'm sure there will be one on tonight now that the university students are protesting against the budget cuts. I don't think the protesters will be taken serious and I think the budget cuts will be made anyway. Not enough students showed up at the rally. The protest signs were too neat and too polite. The students were well behaved. There wasn't enough of an uproar. Nobody knows how to get outraged anymore. The government will do what it wants, regardless of the opposition and in this case, it may possibly be right. 

I've had enough coffee now and I feel great. It's done its job and I can function like a normal person again. That certainly is a difference with how I felt earlier. It's funny that the things that seem the most innocent, are the most addictive. I wonder if people get the same addiction to regular tea? And what did people do in the days before there was coffee or tea? They must have had a drink to get them going in the morning. I can't imagine that they just drank water. There must have been some stimulating beverage. I know that people drank a weak beer when the water in the towns was not potable. Maybe everybody was continually slightly drunk back then. It was said that beer was good for nursing mothers. It can't have been all bad and there used to be a lot of breweries. 

My timing is perfect and I can watch the news in a little while. I think the news ought to last longer and be more comprehensive, but that's just me. Most people probably don't want that. 

Have a good night!

Ciao,

Nora