I've been grumpy since yesterday and I haven't been able to get over it yet, but then at one point I really stopped trying. I decided to accept that I was grumpy after I had unsuccessfully tried to change my mood. I came to the realization that grumpiness is a natural state of mind too and that I didn't necessarily need to get over it. It wasn't really bothering me all that much. It was going to bother other people more than me and I decided not to worry about that. I didn't need to be in a good mood for somebody else, after all.
Today I've patiently endured the company of the people who were here and I was as polite as I could be, but I was glad when the last one pulled the front door closed behind her and I could be alone. I'd rather sit here and be grumpy by myself than in the company of someone else. When other people are around you have to act friendly and polite, which you are not at all in the mood for being. I only feel like being kind to the dog and the cat and I guess for now that makes me a misanthrope.
I have no idea when I'm going to get over this grumpiness. Since I've decided not to let it bother me, I'm not going to hold my breath. It will disappear whenever it's ready to. Whenever what's bothering me has cleared up. It's not so bad to go through life grumpy. It gives you a whole new perspective on things. It makes you more cynical and honest and those are not bad things to be nowadays. It's better than walking around with that eternally cheerful outlook like some kind of Pollyanna.
I think a sense of guilt motivates us to want to try and get into a better mood, but I don't feel guilty. I don't feel that I owe somebody a better mood. Luckily, I don't have to share my space with anyone, so I'm off the hook. It would be harder if I lived with someone and had to explain my attitude. I would have to be rude to the person I lived with. Now I can be kind to the dog and the cat and not worry about anyone else.
I must watch the news and find out what's happening in Libya. It will make me grumpier probably. And the Oscars, oh god, the Oscars...