Olfactory sensations.

I have the smell of spaghetti with bolognese sauce in my head, topped with a good helping of Italian cheese. I could swear there was a plate full of it in the kitchen and just to make sure, I even went to look, but I was disappointed. I checked the kitchen cabinets and the refrigerator to see if I could make it myself, but of course, I didn't have the ingredients.

That's the olfactory sensation I woke up with in the middle of the night and wasn't it a frustrating one, because I can taste that spaghetti as if it's standing in front of me. I must have a terrible longing for a good helping of it. I'll have to get that out of my head as quickly as possible and maybe I can do it by having a cup of tomato soup. That may be the cure for it, though I would still like some cheese on top of that. 

Maybe just having a tall glass of ice cold milk will take care of it, as it takes care of all my cravings as a rule. It seems to be a cure all for everything. Even for the longing for Belgian chocolates. First I've got to have another cup of coffee. I have to be able to think straight and only the caffeine can achieve that, or so I think. 

It's actually not a cold night. It's 72F outside and inside it is very pleasant also. I'm sitting here in only my pajamas with bare feet. My feet are hot for some reason and I long to put them in a basin with cold water, but it would get messy here and I don't want to electrocute myself. I will put lotion on them in a little while and find refreshment that way. 

The dog always wants to lick the lotion when I apply it, so I have to rub it in quickly. I'm sure it's not good for him. He has strange tastes. The other day, he ate a raw zucchini with the greatest of appetites. It was like he had longed for it his whole life. Next, he's going to be eating Brussels sprouts. He also likes Mandarin oranges.

It's going to be a quiet day today and I'm going to enjoy it. Remember what I said about having that weekend feeling during the week? I'm going to apply it now. That means I'm not going to have that during the week stressful feeling. I will try to be as relaxed as I can get while still taking care of my chores and responsibilities. 

I also think that the increase in my anti-depressives is working now because I feel a lot better. That gloomy black dog is not following me around any more and I feel a lot more upbeat. Things weigh a lot less heavy anyway. I do them with much less anxiety and neuroses. Neuroses are a great thing to drop by the wayside. They are totally useless barbed things that leave you exhausted and hurt.

It's time to drink cold milk and that will leave me at a loss for words. It always seems to stop my flow of words, so I feel called upon to prove otherwise. I must write something down that makes sense. It also makes me instantly cold and I have to put on my bathrobe. Apparently, I will not have hot feet for much longer.

At least I've gotten over my longing for spaghetti with bolognese sauce. That's just a faint memory now. It's a good thing that you can't give into every craving that you have or you would get enormously fat. It's best to keep the cupboards and refrigerator as bare as possible. At least down to the most basic items so you don't fall into temptation.

I've got to go back to bed now. My brain isn't functioning anymore. Not well enough to finish writing this post anyway. I will hopefully sleep for a long time in the morning and then leisurely wake up with a cup of coffee and the news. 

Have a good day when you get up. 

Ciao,

Nora

Midnight thoughts...

I was sound asleep lying on my back, but I got a major wet burp all the way up into my nose and it tasted very bad. It nearly choked me and woke me up very quickly. I don't know why I have these weird things happening to me, but I blame it on my gastric band and the glass of milk I had before I went to sleep. It tasted good going down, but I can't say the same thing about it coming up. 

Needless to say, I was wide awake after that and ready to get up. Any excuse will do, really. I don't need much convincing to get up out of bed in the middle of the night. It's my pleasure completely. Luckily, it's not cold in the apartment and I'm wearing warm enough pajamas and socks, so I'm very comfortable.

The reason I was wearing socks to bed was because I had rubbed that good smelling lotion on my feet again after not having done so for a while. I had not quite made it a habit yet and as a result had gotten rough feet again. The lotion softens your feet very quickly and does your hands at the same time. It has a delicious scent that lasts for a long time and I can still smell it on my hands now.

I put clean sheets on the bed and had looked forward to going to sleep very much. I think I must not have been tired enough to have woken up so easily, though I didn't take a nap in the afternoon because I spent it with my sister and her friend. I slept late in the morning and only reluctantly got up. I had to double check to make sure I was really done sleeping so I would not be in a bad mood. 

I immediately made coffee and turned on the TV for some cultural programming. Luckily, I was still on time for that, though I watched some very boring avant garde music being played. I know you're supposed to like that, but I didn't. The musicians put in a lot of effort for some very uninteresting music. The body language was there and so were the facial expressions, but the product was a flop. You can't win them all. 

I put on my harem pants, but realized later on in the day that they don't show at all how skinny I am now, so I'm not going to wear them any more. I'm only going to wear my skinny jeans from now on and I have three pairs of them. There's always at least one clean pair. The harem pants have gotten way to big on me, although they are very comfortable to wear. I do have other choices of things to wear. The harem pants are going on the stack of obsolete clothes. The steadily growing stack. 

I'm drinking ice cold milk now and any moment my frontal lobe is going to freeze up and I won't be able to think straight. At least I'm not quite getting an ice cream headache. It does make me quite giddy, all that cold milk. I can never get enough of it. The first glass is empty in no time at all, but you must think of all the nighttime snacks I don't eat because of it. I would have to eat chocolates or something to get the same amount of satisfaction. Belgian bonbons would taste real good now. Instead I'll have another glass of milk. 

I'm not at all going to worry about tomorrow when the personal helper and the domestic help are going to be here. Or when my SPN is going to call me at 9 o'clock in the morning and I have to be coherent. I'll have to set the alarm clock for that so I'll at least have had a cup of coffee. It may be difficult to get up, but I'll have to manage it somehow. I hope I won't be grumpy. 

I was quite organized and even remembered to put out the trash. I've also got all the laundry drying on the rack in the bathroom. If I do another load tomorrow, I will be able to hang it outside. That is, if I'm that ambitious and go looking for laundry. 

I think I'll go back to bed now. I've rattled on long enough about nothing important at all. There are enough hours left to get some sleep. Bed is still an inviting place to go to. I just hope the milk doesn't back up into my nose again. 

Have a good morning when you get up. I hope you'll have good weather and I leave that open to your interpretation, 

Ciao,

Nora

The pesky dog...

The pesky dog won't let me sleep. He woke me up by insistently barking at me and if I ignored him, he jumped on the bed and slobbered on my face. It was very obvious that he wanted me to get up. He kept repeating this, because I kept ignoring him, until there was no other recourse but to get up. He had to go out back to do a piddle.

And now, of course, I am up with a cup of coffee, which is really a cafe au lait because it has more milk than coffee in it. Soit, it will suffice. It actually tastes pretty good, but I'm going to have to make some real coffee to get my head straight. I should just go straight back to bed, but I'm too stubborn to do that. I do like sitting here in this half asleep state and try to make sense. It's a challenge.

I don't know why I take on these challenges when It's so obvious that I'm not up to them, unless this real cup of coffee that I'm having now is going to work quickly and set my head straight. It may happen yet. I'm chugging it down and getting ready to have the next one in my eagerness to make sense. Anything to stop me from yawning anyway...

...I just fell asleep for an hour in my desk chair and  I just woke up again. I feel a lot better now. That little nap was just what I needed. I feel completely refreshed. I just got a little bit chilled and I'll have to put on my bathrobe. 

There, I also got a new cup of coffee because the old one had gotten cold. At least I remained upright in my chair and my head didn't hit the keyboard. I was leaning against the backrest of the chair and my chin was resting on my chest. I did pick the most comfortable position to sleep in, although I don't even remember drifting off. 

*

One of my blogging buddies  said that she applied lotion to her feet every night before she went to sleep and that this gave her very soft feet. I have been thinking about doing the same thing because I have a lot of problems with callouses that are hard to get rid of and I thought maybe the lotion might help that. If I'm good about it and apply it every night, I may get silky soft feet. It would be a good habit to get into.

I also seem to have developed eczema on the fingers of my right hand and am going to have to start applying ointment there. The skin got cracked there and is a little painful. Now I have to remember to apply the ointment in several places and I'm already bad about doing it. It's one of my least favorite jobs. I guess I'd rather scratch than apply ointment. Sometimes I don't take good care of myself. 

I'm equally bad about applying lotion to my arms and legs to prevent dry skin and rough elbows and knees. I do have some very nice smelling stuff that I can apply. I think I'm going to have to develop some new habits and take care of them before I go to sleep at night. They will just have to become new rituals. It's time to turn a new leaf. 

*

I've completely run out of perfumes and have thrown out all the empty bottles. I used them up quickly and I think I maybe applied them to liberally. I can't help myself, I do like to smell nice. I'm going to have to replenish my supply by going to the discount store and picking out some new ones. I'll have to walk over there one of these days. Right now I'm making do with a very nice smelling deodorant, but there's nothing like a good perfume. I do like it when my clothes smell of it. 

*

I have to take the bottle of Febreze and spray all the clothes that are on hangers in my closet, even the ones that have recently been washed. It will give them that nice fresh smell that's so nice when I put them on. A lot of my clothes smell like smoke and I can't keep washing them every time I've worn them just once. Some of the clothes are too delicate for that. That's a job I can do this week. 

It has been nice to discover that some size 16 clothes are way too big on me now and that those can go in the piles of obsolete items. It's a bit of a shame not to be able to wear those clothes anymore, but there are others instead that I can wear and that makes up for it. 

*

I suppose that I will go to bed now as it is late. I will start with my new rituals tonight. I'll get all the lotions out and put them on the bookcase by the bed. Then I'll have no excuse to forget them. I'll turn into a proper woman yet. 

Have a good night and a splendid morning when you wake up. 

Ciao,

Nora