It's 2011...

I realized that this time Christmas and New Year's Eve weren't as bad as last year, because they were the second time since my divorce that I lived through them on my own. The first time was much harder. I was very consciously aware that I was on my own and I felt sorry for myself. I had no such problem this time and made it through just fine. I felt very independent and sure of myself and like the solitude was a choice and not something that was forced on me. I was comfortable with my own company and I didn't feel lonely. 

Last night, at the stroke of midnight, I cuddled and kissed Tyke and wished myself a Happy New Year. I couldn't cuddle and kiss Gandhi, because she was hiding from the noise of the fireworks. She didn't show up until an hour later. I petted her then and she followed me to the bedroom where I could finally get into bed along with Tyke very cozily. I was asleep soon after that. It does wear you out to listen to a barrage of fireworks for nearly one hour. 

Tyke did well. He was a little bit scared, but stayed close to me and I petted him the whole time and soothed his sometimes trembling body. He didn't bark or whine and I thought he was very brave. 

I'm very much aware that this is a new year and I do have certain expectations of it. I have not really made any resolutions. I still have the ones I made along the line last year and I'll continue on with those. They are very simple ones. Just some things I have determined to do for myself. Eat healthy, live frugally, be social and look at the bright side of things. Learn lessons from everything that happens. Nothing happens by chance. 

It's late in the morning now and I have been sitting here for a while drinking coffee as if I have a hangover. I drank milk at midnight. No alcohol for me. I would have enjoyed a cold white beer, but I didn't have any in the refrigerator. I survived without it too. It isn't necessary to celebrate every significant event with booze. It's a myth that it puts us in a better mood. Alcohol is a depressant, so who needs that? 

I'm going to see my sister and her friend this afternoon. She will come and get me so I won't have to ride my bike through the sludge that is the thawing snow and ice. That's a relief. I must eat something before I go. To celebrate the new year, I will eat something festive from my care package. The best thing I've been eating from it was the aged cheese. I have a piece of that every day and it's quite good. I'm down to the last piece now and I will have that tonight, providing I have room in my stomach. It depends on what else I've eaten. 

I must get dressed in something festive too. I must enter the new year correctly with the right amount of color. It won't do to look drab. 

Tyke and I will take a walk through what's left of the snow. There's actually quite a bit of it still. It isn't thawing fast enough for me and on Sunday night it is supposed to start freezing again. I hope they got that prediction wrong, because the street isn't nearly clean yet. It will be nice to be out in the fresh air and not break my neck in my new boots. They have proved to be very steady.

Hava Happy New Year all of you! May it be the best year ever. 

Ciao,

Nora

Go lightlly...

 The package that was supposed to get here between 9 and 12 o' clock, got here at 5 minutes before 12. Well, I suppose somebody has to get squeezed in last. I would have been ready to make a phone call at noon if it had not been here, I am that much of a stickler. The poor man did look harried and I forgave him on the spot. I'm sure he does not have an easy job delivering all those packages to uptight people who are waiting impatiently like I was. All those harassed housewives who want to try on their new clothes and other assorted customers whose addresses he has to find.

I took my package into the bedroom immediately before Tyke could rip it out of my hands, because he thinks everything is for him that gets delivered, and got out the black mini skirt and the leggings that I wanted to wear with my new purchases. They are a black T-shirt with a draped neckline and it is draped going down too, so you mustn't pull it down too tightly otherwise you lose the effect, and a very modern looking cardigan that reaches down in long points down the front, which are edged in a braid in the same material and which look very neat. 

So I put that all on right away and my earrings too and felt smashing. It was even better than I had hoped for. I do know which clothes I like and what looks good on me. I zero in on those things right away and instinctively know that I should get them. No, I don't have a big head at all, just a super inflated ego. Ha! You see how incredibly vain I am, don't you? 

I was just outside with Tyke for the second time and it was pretty cold. There was quite a bit of wind and now it has started to rain, so there go my plans to hang up the sheets and pillow cases on the clothing line.

My sister just called me to tell me that she and her boyfriend were going to the thermal baths at the spa and to tell me how cozy they had it last night together with her daughter, while I thought she was calling me to invite me over, because when I answered the phone, I said, "Yes, that will be fine."  She didn't ask me what I meant by that and I felt like a fool. 

I'm afraid I'm feeling awfully sorry for myself right now, because I'm never invited for anything. I'm not included in my sister's very busy social life at any point, while she has so much to go around. The Exfactor also does not include me in his, even though we shared the same people. I think people aren't very generous and are mostly concerned with themselves and don't think what it's like for me to always be alone. Nobody ever thinks, let's ask Irene over, she could use some diversion. 

I'm rapidly cycling downwards now and I'm sitting here crying, but it has a cause. The cause is my pity party. I'm sitting here all dressed up with no place to go and that is what it finally comes down to. It doesn't matter what I look like, there's no one to look at me and tell me I look pretty. 

Ciao,
Nora