I just got up for the second time and am having my second cup of coffee. Even though the sun is shining outside, I'm not enthused about the day, but I figure that everybody is allowed a day like that. I want to stay in my bathrobe and slippers and be lazy all day long and pretend that it has nothing to do with me. Actually, I would be doing what the day was created for, except that I wouldn't heed the call to prayer. I simply don't want to participate and I think I will be excused by whatever higher being lords it over me.
I thought that it might be due to the fact that I had reduced my anti-depressants, but I decided that I was just in a slightly grumpy mood and not to blame it on that. I think it is quite normal to be in a grumpy mood every now and then for no particular reason other than that it is Sunday. It isn't my favorite day of the week anyway, no matter how hard I try to ignore this fact. Reducing my medicines has nothing to do with it. I simply want to be good and kind to myself and make the best of a not so exciting day.
One thing I should not be and that is scared of moods, because they are the most normal thing in the world. I can't always be even tempered, no matter how hard I try. I think I'm so very often in a positive mood that a grumpy mood takes me by surprise and I immediately get suspicious. I try to find a reason other than the most obvious one, in other words, that it's part of the human condition. It is possible to be fed up with the most ordinary things and to need a little time out, which is what I'm going to take today.
Having written all of this down already makes me feel a lot better. I have probably analyzed it the long way around, but I have gotten to my point in the end. Anyway, there is to be no 'ought' or 'should' today. There are only wants and needs.