One more time...

I've just taken Tyke for a walk in the real autumn like November wind that blew yellow leaves all around us and ahead of our feet. It was invigorating and not at all that cold. It made me feel alive and ready to take another walk once we were inside again. We will have to go again before it gets dark and I hope the wind will be blowing as nicely then. 

I do appreciate this weather and I want to take advantage of it before it gets too cold to really enjoy it. As long as the wind is not too cold, it is wonderful how it hits your face and makes your skin feel just a bit chilled and look all rosy. I love the way it comes from unexpected directions and whirls the leaves around in spinning circles and rushing waves of color. 

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I became very sleepy and had to lie down on the sofa where I took quite a nap. I will have to drink some coffee to completely come to my senses again. The coffeemaker is brewing it now. I have to be patient for just a few minutes, though I find that hard to do. 

There, now I have my coffee. I will be a living, breathing human being shortly. Right now I'm just faking it. 

I was waxing so poetically about the wind and the leaves, but I don't think I can do it anymore. All the poetry has left my body, only dull wit has been left behind to fill up the holes. That and a whole lot of sleepiness. I can't hone my writing skills on them. I will have to use different tactics now. 

My plan was to take Tyke for a walk before it got dark, but I don't know if I'm going to make it. The wind has stopped blowing as blustery and the sun is already getting low on the horizon. And I am still yawning. I need another cup of coffee, obviously...

...Well, instead of messing around with coffee, I took Tyke for a walk, because he would not wait any longer. It was still windy outside and not cold yet, so it was still enjoyable. It is a good thing that we went when we did. It is just starting to get dark and the streetlights are on already. 

I must remember that I like blustery wind that's not too cold. I didn't remember that about myself. It's like it is a new discovery that I made today. How interesting. See how you're never too old to learn things? Even about yourself? 

I am having that other cup of coffee now. It is still very welcome. I've turned the lights on in the living room and will close the blinds in a minute. I see people coming home from their work now, many of them on their bicycles. There are still kids playing outside before they have to go in for dinner. It's Wednesday, so it must be meatball day. That's traditional.

When I think of meatballs, I think of the nice little ones you get at Ikea. I haven't had those in a long time. I can't eat them anymore because of my gastric band and the last time I did, I ran into terrible trouble, because I ate more than I could handle. I'll never forget those meatballs. 

But I still like to go to Ikea. You just need to bring a big, full wallet with you when you go, because there's so much to see that you want and you can easily fill up one of those big shopping carts they have. I have no trouble spending money there. That's probably why I avoid the place right now. It's dangerous. 

It's time to watch the news. I have to go and be informed, although I think it will make no difference if I know how things are in the world. I can only do my share to make it a better one in my own limited way and hope everybody else does their share. I feel very frustrated at times. It doesn't seem that enough people care. 

Have a good evening!

Ciao,

Nora

Sleeping successfully...

I finally did it. I managed to sleep for 12 hours, with one minor break in it at one point during the night. I slept so much that, when I first got up this morning, I had a headache from it. It was cured pretty quickly with a cup of coffee. I got up during the night and was very disappointed, thinking I would be up for hours. I got a glass of milk and smoked a cigarette and answered some emails and went back to bed, very determined to fall asleep again, and I did. 

I did have the most awful dreams about the American War for Independence and death and mutilation and murder. It was all very graphic and gruesome and I felt the pain in my sleep. I don't know why I have to dream about such violent things. They are what I am most scared of. A whole night's worth of sleep sure gives you the opportunity to dream a lot and my imagination apparently knows no bounds. All I can tell you is that dying by bullet is a kinder way to go than dying by sword or knife. 

Now it very happily is Sunday, the day of rest, and I am more than ready for it. All I have to do is go to the gas station to buy cigarettes, because with all that sleeping I did during the day yesterday, I forgot to go to the tobacco shop and I've used up the last crumbs of tobacco to make myself some cigarettes. I will not let that spoil the day, however, and I'm planning to make the most of it. The church bells are joyfully ringing and the sun is shining and it promises to be a nice day. 

Actually, it is the kind of day that makes you want to go to Ikea and buy things for your apartment to liven it up, because the drive over there is pretty too and it is so much fun to walk around in the store and to covet all the things that are on display. Alas, the budget does not allow it, unless I go rob the gas station and I'm too law abiding to do that. Imagine having the nerve to do that and having to live with the knowledge afterwards. I think I could only get away with robbing a really rich Arab of his pocket money, lol. But he probably only carries credit cards. 

The Exfactor was just here on his way to Belgium to see how I was doing. I think that was very kind of him, because the last time I talked to him on the phone I was not doing so well. Luckily, I only needed to mention rapid cycling and sleep and he understood what was going on because we've been through this before. I made a new pot of coffee and we smoked my last two cigarettes. You can't say that I don't share. It was good to seem him and I was glad he came by so unexpectedly. 

This did necessitate a quick trip to the gas station to replenish my supply of cigarettes and I hopped on my bike in the bright sunshiny day. I needed a jacket, but the sky was bright blue and everywhere there were people out enjoying the day, pretending it was still summertime and dressed in a variety of clothes, the more optimistic ones with bare arms. It isn't really that warm outside yet, but if you are in the sun and out of the wind, it is pleasant. The Dutch adore the sun and seek it out even when it is cool outside. 

I'm carelessly dressed and just put on what was lying in the chair in my bedroom. I'm not even wearing earrings.This morning I didn't give a hoot. I didn't even bother very much with my hair, which was sticking up and which I sort of got into shape with a comb and some hairspray. I couldn't be bothered and I think a person ought to be allowed days like that too. I would wear sweat pants and a T-shirt if I had those. Or an old pair of jeans and a flannel shirt. It's really too bad that you can't get away dressing like that over here. You always have to look presentable, even when you're having an off day. Even if you're dressed casually, you have to look good, like you put some thought into it. I will put together a better outfit in a minute because I have to walk the dog and I'm sure the dog cares. Lol. 

Boy, sleeping nights sure is a lot of work. I feel like I've done a lot of labor and that the night lasted a long time. I hope it gets easier, because it's not something I look forward to now. All night long I was very much aware that I had to sleep and that I had to stay in bed and that I was uncomfortable doing so, and then those dreams!

Allez, I'm going to change my clothes and walk the dog. It will be nice out and good to get some fresh air. I'm sure the dog will enjoy it too. 

Have a very good day!

Ciao,
Nora