It's officially Saturday again...

Having gone to bed early last night, I'm up early this morning too and drinking coffee and having myself a splendid time. I can't get enough of the early morning hours when everything is so peaceable and serene and I am the only person awake on the block. At least I assume I am. I thought I heard some noise in the stairwell earlier, but all is quiet now. No doubt that was a neighbor coming home from a late night out. The bars don't close until the wee hours of the morning and there are those stubborn enough to take advantage of that. 

I slept well between clean sheets with both the animals on the bed. This does not leave that much room for me, but I manage. I do wake up with a sore knee, but I would regardless. It always takes me a while to get over it after I've gotten up and it takes some time to get comfortable. I think Tyke lies in waiting for me to open my eyes, because he is always looking at me when I do and ready to be greeted. Gandhi is tucked in beside my pillows and looks like a little ball of fur.She doesn't get up when we do, but keeps right on sleeping. 

The first thing I do when I walk into the living room is turn on the computer and then walk into the kitchen to make a pot of coffee. I try to measure the ground coffee properly into the filter so that I don't make it too strong and I succeeded today. It is just right and I was not too generous like I have a tendency to be. I very often over optimistically put in too much ground coffee and make it much too strong taking away from the good flavor of it. Strong coffee does wake me up, but it makes me thirsty too, causing me to have to drink cold milk for the quenching of it. 

When I first wake up, I always have visions of many good things to eat, but those disappear into the background once I've had my first cup of coffee. I could raid the cupboards when I first get up. I want to eat all sorts of decadent things, but I don't have those in the apartment anyway. Imagine if I had a box of cookies or bonbons. No doubt I would be tempted to eat those. I would be tempted to stuff my mouth with them before I had time to properly think about it. I do have a jar of Nutella and in a weak moment I have spoons full of that. Little teaspoons full. It's one of my deadly sins.

Since today is Saturday, it's going to be a day of freedom. I will walk Tyke several times and hang up a load of laundry, but I don't have much else to do. There are no 'ought to's' in my life today. There will be sports on television and then some inane programs that are not worth watching. Luckily there is an off button. The best thing to do is to sit down and read a book, which I have not taken the time to do and today would be the perfect opportunity. My armchair is a good place to hang out in. I will also take the necessary naps on the sofa and contemplate my navel. 

It's going to rain today and that will be a perfect opportunity to hibernate. I will have the lights turned on in the living room and be cozy. I do like the rain when I'm inside. There something very soothing about the rain when you're not in it. Besides, even if I were in it, it wouldn't hurt me very much, because I have indestructible hair. If it got wet, all I'd have to do is rub it quickly with a towel and it would be in shape again. It's not going to be very cold and we're in for some mild weather. I think winter is really over now.

Enjoying my own company is what it's going to be all about this weekend. Luckily, I'm in a good enough mood to do that. I don't feel any of the discomfort that I felt last week when I was not so stable. I've managed to get on an even keel since then. I'm okay again by myself.

I will go back to bed again shortly. There's lots of time to sleep still. I don't have to get the day started early. I can sleep late and my warm bed does call me. I've started to yawn and that is a sure sign that I need some more sleep. 

I hope you'll all have a good day.

Ciao,

Nora

But for the wickedness of me...

 Today is Valentine's Day, but I have no illusions and don't expect a pretty card in the mail from a secret admirer. I have no believe that such a person exists and I would be highly surprised if one came out of the woodworks. I sincerely hope one doesn't, because I wouldn't know what to do with him. He would upset my quiet and sedate life, even if he wished to stay anonymous. I would be afraid that he would feel the urge to make himself known and that would not make me happy. 

But all of you who are receiving Valentine's cards and are happy with them, please enjoy them to the fullest, and all the boxes of chocolates you're going to get with them too. Maybe some of you will get proposed to on this day and it will lead to the happiest day of your life. If so, I congratulate you in advance. The days of romance are all behind me and I've hung my harp in the willows. There are to be no heart shaped boxes for me, although I do love bonbons. 

I don't think that Valentine's Day is the enormous commercialized event in this country that it is in some other countries. That can still happen, of course. These traditions do blow over and cross borders. I'm sure if shopkeepers and department stores see a profit in it, they will make a big promotion out of it in the shortest amount of time. I haven't been downtown and I don't get any advertising in my mailbox, but it's possible that there are all sorts of sales going on there too. It's far from my bed and I'm not completely up to date. The ads on television haven't made me much wiser, but I think it's still relatively small scale here.

So I will not be eating any bonbons, which is a good thing, because I don't need to gain the extra weight and I can never just eat one of them. I wouldn't be satisfied until the whole box was empty and I was sick of them, especially if they were Belgian bonbons. They are not something I would ever buy for myself for that reason. That would be purely decadent and foolish. Maybe I would have them for my last meal, but that's a long way off and I may be over my craving for them by then. It's possible that when I'm an old lady, I will only like rusk toast with strawberry jam. 

All this talk about bonbons is making me hungry and I'm going to have to look in the refrigerator to see what there is to eat. I've just eaten the last spoonful of peanut butter and the Nutella is all gone. I'll have to eat something healthy, although I think peanut butter is in small doses. There's lots of protein in it. 

Have a happy Valentine's Day!

Ciao,

Nora

C'est la vie...

I'm waiting for the coffeemaker to finish brewing the coffee. I can't wait to have a fresh cup. I am in dire need of one. I just had some milk to quench my thirst, but it didn't wake me up. I did function without coffee and managed to write emails that were quite coherent, but I'm yawning still and definitely need the caffeine to get me started properly. 

I craved Nutella and had a couple of teaspoons of that straight from the jar. It is my energy boost and I figure the hazelnuts in it are good for me. It's my secret passion, though I can't have too much of it all at once. There is a limit to how much of it I can eat, but that is good. A little bit goes a long way and takes care of the craving. When I say teaspoon, I mean one of those little teaspoons that are used with china cups  and saucers and tea glasses. Not what Americans consider teaspoons to be. Those are dessert spoons in my book.  

Yesterday, my SPN and I started discussing my second marriage and that brought us back to the very beginning of it in California where I lived then and I had to tell about my situation then. I talked about that period in my life with a lot of nostalgia and love and quite extensively, but later when I was home, I wondered if in my head all this time, I had not romanticized this period of my life too much and forgotten all the gritty details.

You see, I'm sure I have, and that I've only told a little bit of the story and not the whole truth. I think I walk around for years with the romanticized version of my life in my head and have heartaches about it, but when it comes down to analyzing everything, it turns out not to hold up under close scrutiny and the truth comes to the surface. I have to face all the not so nice things about it and destroy the mythology that I've built up around it.

Luckily, I'm willing and able to do that. I'm not afraid to dismantle the myth if it helps me let go of the pain. If they are just fables I've been believing in, then I'm more than willing to stop believing in them. I can't live my life as if it is a movie set or as if I am a character in an exciting novel. I can't have my memories be stuck in that kind of a format. I'm stripped of any romanticism now. I have no illusions about my life. I only see the naked truth. There's not one poetic bone left in my body.

I'm seeing my SPN again next week and I'll deal with the rest of the story and tell the truth. It will be good to have it all come out. 

The ice in the streets and on the sidewalks is covered with a new layer of snow. It will snow some more today. I'm expecting my other personal helper at 8:30 this morning. I have to get dressed before that time and get the show on the road. I wish she wasn't coming quite this early, but we thought it was a good idea to get me started well in the morning. 

Have a good day, all of you.

Ciao,

Nora