With a purpose...

I'm having a cup of freshly brewed coffee, although I'm wide awake and doubt if I really need it. It's force of habit that's making me have it more than anything. It's possible that it will do something for my thinking capacities and in that case, I'll gladly drink it. Maybe it will make me especially sharp witted and that would be a welcome thing. I've written enough dull posts to last me a lifetime, although I can only blame that on my exceptionally dull life.

I can blame nobody for my dull life but myself because I choose to have it very uneventful. I can make it as interesting as I want it to be myself. I choose to have it very low key and predictable without any big highlights in it. There is hardly any blog fodder in it and I have to write about the tiniest, most insignificant details to give the posts any body at all. I fall into repetition a lot.

Right now I can tell you that the early birds have started to sing, but I always do that. This morning they are ten minutes late, but that must be because of the bad weather. It has rained and thundered during the night throughout the country and a lot of damage was expected of it. The trains aren't supposed to run on time because of it. Apparently the strong winds and the lightening strikes did a lot of damage to the overhead cables. 

We're all done with the hot weather and now we are down to more normal temperatures again, which means I can dress with more ease. I don't have to walk around half naked. I do prefer wearing some clothes. Yesterday I wore a skimpy top with spaghetti straps. I did manage to get some color on my arms and shoulders while walking the dog and going out on my bike. It was very hot and there was no breeze to speak of. My deodorant was barely working. 

Just when I was about to take the dog out in the evening, enormous hailstones started to fall rapidly from the sky. They could have knocked you unconscious had you been caught out in them. It would have been very painful to have been hit by them as some people were who were trying to get home on their bikes.

I think I will take my medicines and go back to bed for a while. I have some chores to do today, but they will wait until later. There's no rush. I also have to choose a new novel to read. That will be an interesting undertaking and I hope I get it right this time. I'll go have a look on the bookcase. 

We're expecting rain this morning, so it will be cozy to lie in bed with the window open. 

Have a good day.

Ciao,

Nora

Catch up...

I had told myself that I couldn't spend any time behind the computer during daylight hours. This was to control the amount of time I spent behind it and the amount of drivel I wrote in my posts. I figured with the amount of sleeping that I was doing in the nighttime hours now, that would put a severe cramp on my style, but I hadn't counted on the odd night that I would wake up early and sit here anyway, just like I used to. 

I woke up because of a long fit of coughing from acid reflux that was due to my gastric band. Sometimes that happens if I've eaten just a little bit too much during dinner. It's very irritating and doesn't stop until I've gotten up and due to gravity everything has settled down again. Having something to drink helps too. 

It puts a dent in my sleeping pattern, but I don't mind being up that much once the coughing stops. It does give me a chance to sit behind the computer since I can't during the day, or so I've told myself. I really have to find other ways to amuse myself during the day and get over the habit of automatically turning on the computer the moment I think I have nothing better to do and, most importantly, writing one unnecessary post after the other.

I find that I'm much more relaxed during the day if I'm not constantly turning on the computer and writing posts. It's much better if the whole notion is out of my head. I'm not neurotically sitting down explaining every detail of my life, which I have a tendency to do in order to try to be amusing. That way everything becomes scrutinized and I feel that my whole life is up for judgment. That's my own fault, of course. I make it that way. I know I can be much more enigmatic than that and that everything doesn't need to be explained into the minutest detail.

I do miss out on reading other blogs and leaving comments and that's something I'm going to have to rectify tonight while I have the chance. It's worth the missing hours of sleep, which I'll catch up on anyway in the morning. Sometimes It's okay to be up in the middle of the night, providing you get enough sleep later and you don't make a habit out of it like I had. I find that if I sleep well during the night, I do much better during the day. But I do want to visit my blogging buddies. I don't want them to think I have forsaken them. 

So, without much further ado, that's what I'll go do now. I hope you're all sound asleep or if not, that you're having a pleasant evening, whichever timezone you're in. 

Ciao,

Nora

Whatever it brings...

It's early in the morning and I'm sort of ready for whatever the day will bring me. I'm almost in that kind of mood. I only have the tiniest bit of apprehension and am trying to get over that by drinking my second cup of coffee. I figure it will give me the courage to face the day that's ahead. Not that I'm planning any sort of a special day, oh no. It's just going to be a very ordinary day in which a temporary domestic help will show up and do a slap dash job of cleaning my apartment under my misguided direction and together we will make a mess of it. That's just the kind of a day it's going to be.

Actually, it sounds like a good day to pull myself together and find out what the hell I've been doing these past weeks while I have been bouncing off the walls. It's time to regroup and get a hold of myself. This shouldn't fill me with apprehension, because, after all, I'm a grown up woman and I'm still in charge of myself, although it hasn't looked like that lately. I've let events take a hold of me and have a run with me while I helplessly stood by and watched on in dismay. It's time to take the reigns into my own hands again and regain control over the situation.

If I were a tough broad, I'd say it's time to put on my shit kicking boots, but I'm going to be a little more delicate about it and work with finesse. I think the gentle and insightful approach is called for and that's the one I'm going to apply. I have to use the psychological approach. Catching flies with honey and soothing the mildly savage beast that lurks inside me. I will sing it lullabies and stroke its fevered brow.

It does mean that I mustn't let the little things upset me and not let the little nuances in my mood throw me off guard. I have to be steadfast and think of the bigger picture. It means getting me through the day with the least amount of emotional bruising and mishaps. That shouldn't be too difficult now, should it? All I have to do is take care of things in the proper order of importance and not let myself get bogged down in unnecessary details, and by all means do no screwing of the mind.

Actually, that's a tall order and I hope I'm up to the task, but I will tackle it one little bit at the time, starting with this early morning ritual of having my coffee and writing this well thought out post in which I have to appear totally sane and rational and on top of things. In outsmarting myself, I may even outsmart you.

Shortly what I will do is take the dog for a vigorous walk and breathe in the early morning air. That ought to clear the remaining cobwebs from my mind, because believe me, there are still a few there. I'm not all bright and perky yet. I may pretend that I am, but part of me is longing to return to bed and crawl under the duvet. I know there are people all over the world having the same wish, so I only can join their ranks and commiserate. Life is tough that way. I need to get used to it.

I mustn't think I'm in a privileged position because of the rarefied atmosphere my mind confines itself in. It's a mind like any other and I need to cope with it the way anybody else does with theirs, although I'd like to think there are simpler minds for less complicated people and I'd like to be one of them.

Have a good day.

Ciao,
Nora