It's early in the morning and I'm sort of ready for whatever the day will bring me. I'm almost in that kind of mood. I only have the tiniest bit of apprehension and am trying to get over that by drinking my second cup of coffee. I figure it will give me the courage to face the day that's ahead. Not that I'm planning any sort of a special day, oh no. It's just going to be a very ordinary day in which a temporary domestic help will show up and do a slap dash job of cleaning my apartment under my misguided direction and together we will make a mess of it. That's just the kind of a day it's going to be.
Actually, it sounds like a good day to pull myself together and find out what the hell I've been doing these past weeks while I have been bouncing off the walls. It's time to regroup and get a hold of myself. This shouldn't fill me with apprehension, because, after all, I'm a grown up woman and I'm still in charge of myself, although it hasn't looked like that lately. I've let events take a hold of me and have a run with me while I helplessly stood by and watched on in dismay. It's time to take the reigns into my own hands again and regain control over the situation.
If I were a tough broad, I'd say it's time to put on my shit kicking boots, but I'm going to be a little more delicate about it and work with finesse. I think the gentle and insightful approach is called for and that's the one I'm going to apply. I have to use the psychological approach. Catching flies with honey and soothing the mildly savage beast that lurks inside me. I will sing it lullabies and stroke its fevered brow.
It does mean that I mustn't let the little things upset me and not let the little nuances in my mood throw me off guard. I have to be steadfast and think of the bigger picture. It means getting me through the day with the least amount of emotional bruising and mishaps. That shouldn't be too difficult now, should it? All I have to do is take care of things in the proper order of importance and not let myself get bogged down in unnecessary details, and by all means do no screwing of the mind.
Actually, that's a tall order and I hope I'm up to the task, but I will tackle it one little bit at the time, starting with this early morning ritual of having my coffee and writing this well thought out post in which I have to appear totally sane and rational and on top of things. In outsmarting myself, I may even outsmart you.
Shortly what I will do is take the dog for a vigorous walk and breathe in the early morning air. That ought to clear the remaining cobwebs from my mind, because believe me, there are still a few there. I'm not all bright and perky yet. I may pretend that I am, but part of me is longing to return to bed and crawl under the duvet. I know there are people all over the world having the same wish, so I only can join their ranks and commiserate. Life is tough that way. I need to get used to it.
I mustn't think I'm in a privileged position because of the rarefied atmosphere my mind confines itself in. It's a mind like any other and I need to cope with it the way anybody else does with theirs, although I'd like to think there are simpler minds for less complicated people and I'd like to be one of them.
Have a good day.