After having had a hypo-manic night, I plunged into the abyss this afternoon and started to feel suicidal. I thought I was going absolutely stark raving mad and didn't know at first what to do, but I felt pretty hopeless. I desperately wanted to reach out and call someone, but because it was a holiday, I didn't know who to call.
Then I realized that when I felt this way, I needed to take an extra anti-psychotic tablet and not a sedative, which would only make it worse. I went ahead and did that and crawled into bed and waited for it to work and when it started to, I fell asleep, which is probably the best thing that could have happened.
When I woke up, I felt ever so much better and it was time to take my normal dose of medicines. I'm waiting for those to start working now and I should be feeling pretty good in about ten minutes. I've also got a cup of coffee to help me get the last cobwebs of sleep out of my head.
I've got to be careful and make sure this doesn't repeat itself. Staying up all night was not a good idea. Especially not being so very active and changing all the scenery around. That was a bad idea when you consider that I don't deal well with changes. I'm still very uncomfortable with it now, but I'm not going to make any alterations again. I'll leave things the way they are.
It sure is difficult being me sometimes. Well, a lot of times it is. It's a day job. Actually, I have to keep an eye on myself 24 hours a day, 7 days a week. I wish someone else would do it for me for a couple of weeks so I could have a break. It sure does get exhausting.
I need to walk the dog. He's begging with his big brown eyes.
Have a good evening.