Sunday, April 24, 2011

Fooling my brain....

I'm up again during the night and taking advantage of the fact that I feel as good as I do. I've had two cups of coffee that have helped me straighten out my brain and helped me think straight and I will switch to a nice glass of cold milk next. I'm in as much anticipation of that as a kid is of an ice cream cone. That's how much I like cold milk. The fact that it's nutritious is an added extra, although I would not drink it if it were just empty calories.

Yesterday, I dealt with my ever increasing stress by taking 20 mg Temazepam at regular intervals and it calmed me down very well. It really took the edge off and made me not suffer from my own nerves so much. I'm planning on doing that again today the moment the stress starts to hit again. It's such a relief to feel it almost completely disappear and to be able to sit in silence and tranquility. And most importantly, to be able to walk the dog with a peaceful heart, as that had become an almost unbearable chore. 

I'm to the point now that I will do whatever I can to get peace of mind as the stress is something I find I can not cope with. It eats me up. If I were a candidate for ulcers, I would have a couple of them now. It causes a tremendous amount of anxiety that I can not live with and that makes me neurotic in all areas of my life. It influences my thought processes and forces me to make the wrong decisions.

At any rate, I'm sitting here now feeling fairly normal and I'm making myself some more coffee to fight off the feelings of sleep. It is Sunday today and there is time enough to go to bed. I don't quite want the night to end yet. I want to enjoy it as long as possible because it's the longest stretch that I feel good without taking any medication. 

I made the coffee strong and it tastes very good. It is almost as good as having  an espresso. It puts hair on your chest, whether you want it or not. It's pure indulgence and to get the most effect out of a cup. I'll have to drink it as quickly as I can while it is still fresh in the can. That's when it tastes best. There's nothing worse than overheated coffee. I'm already working on my second cup, granted that my cup is not a mug by any standard. It's got my name on it so I know who I am. That could be confusing so early in the morning. 

I wish I had the kind of courage I have at night during the day. Life would be so much simpler. 
It's going to be another warm summer day in April today without any rain, although we need it badly. Next week the weather is going to change completely and we will have lower temperatures and rain, which will be more normal for the time of year. It will mean dressing in layers again. I'm more than willing to do this because walking around skimpily dressed is not something I'm all that comfortable with. I'm not all that happy when it's too warm. I like moderate temperatures, I don't mind when it's not all that hot. 

The farmers need the rain for their crops and nature needs the rain too as there are now fire danger zones. The traditional Easter Bonfires have to be canceled because there's to much danger of a wildfire breaking out. They are a tradition that goes back thousands of years, so it's a big deal when they are canceled.

I'm not having any chocolate for Easter, not even one tiny little milk chocolate egg. It's for the best because I don't need the calories and if faced with a whole basket of them, I would feel compelled to eat every one of them. I know no measure when it comes to chocolate. It's best when I don't have any around. To me it's just another weekend with an extra day off on Monday which we call Second Easter Day. It's an extra long weekend, that's nice. 

I will mess around with my blog templates next. I'm not quite happy with what I've got now and I have time to do something about them now. I'm full of caffeine, after all. 

I hope you will all have a good Easter Sunday.



Bernie said...

I am the same way Nora, if I have chocolate in the house I don't stop until I have ate it all - I need more discipline.
We are having lots of sunshine and it is suppose to be 14 tomorrow...
woo hoo!
I baked my ham today, will cook vegetables and make a salad tomorrow. I picked up fresh rolls at the bakery today. Serving apple pie and ice cream for desert. I also bought a shrimp ring and fruit tray to snack on before dinner. I know it is just a simple meal but since I really don't cook much anymore it is all a bit challenging. It is nice to use my china and crystal after such a long time. I usually go to someone else's place on holidays but this year even though it will just be my nephew, niece and myself I am looking forward to it.
Enjoy your Easter Sunday my friend, sending big hugs....:-)

Wisewebwoman said...

Enjoy this day of rebirth and re-creation, my friend. It has been a trial for you leading up to it. Sometimes the past is best left behind a closed door.
I too behave like you around chocolate, it can't be within 5 miles of me or I will stalk, find and demolish every last morsel.