It's late at night and I had started to write another post, but it was such a stressed one, that I deleted it and took an anti-psychotic tablet. I waited until it started to work before attempting to write this one. Hopefully, it will be mellow enough and serene so that I will be happy with it. I do dislike writing fraught and distressed posts. They're not good ways to get your point across, whatever that point may be.
I've made myself some coffee and am trying to get as relaxed as possible. It's hard after these past days of inner turmoil, but I think I'm getting back on my feet again, although that may be the courage of the medicines speaking. I certainly don't feel 'normal.' I feel as though I've been in an accident and I'm still in full recovery from it. That's what a meeting with an ex-husband will do to you.
I think it will take me some time to regain my balance and it's made worse by the knowledge that he will be in town again next month. I don't know how to deal with that yet. I have to recuperate from this first and discuss it with my SPN and talk to my psychiatrist about the use of the extra medication. I'm sure I need some good advice and feedback. This is not something that I can handle on my own.
In the meantime, I have to make the most of the night. I'm not as relaxed as I'd like to be and I feel an awful lot of pressure to go to bed, while there is really no rush to and I'm not sleepy yet. I would like to be carefree again, but it seems impossible right now.
Sleep tight, all of you.