At the start of the morning...

I'm sitting here with my second cup of coffee and my umpteenth cigarette. It's not so very early in the morning, because I slept well and didn't go to bed too early last night. I watched an episode of Inspector Frost that I had not seen before and I was totally fascinated by it and had to watch it till the end. It was a very satisfying episode and I'm glad I stayed up for it. Good triumphed over evil in the end, but at what cost? There are always double layers in these British detective series. That's what makes them so good. It makes them better than any Dutch detective series. The British are the best. There are no obvious heroes. Only understated ones. 

This morning one of my personal helpers is coming. The one who usually comes on Mondays, except that she couldn't come this past Monday. So now I will have a personal helper two days in a row, because the one for tomorrow is also going to be here that day. My luck knows no boundaries. What will I do with all that attention? How will I keep them amused? I always feel that I need to pull a rabbit out of a hat. It's not so much what they can do for me, as what I can do for them. 

I suppose I better not worry about it too much ahead of time and let the morning unfold as it comes. I'm still sitting here in my bathrobe and will be as long as it takes me to write this and do some chores. If I have to greet her in it, then so be it. It's a fact of reality that I'm a slow poke in the morning and can't get started faster than my system allows. I do require a certain amount of starting up time. I can't force myself into overdrive until I'm ready for it, otherwise I'll turn into an unorganized grouch.

I'm drinking my third glass of cold milk due to being extremely thirsty. I have the refrigerator set on high so the milk is extra cold. I would like to drink some cold juice, but due to my recent experience with it, it seems smarter not to. I don't want to get heartburn. That does take the fun out of any kind of food or drink. It isn't until I drink my third glass of milk that I feel that my thirst is getting quenched and that I can slow down drinking.

I'm still waiting for my 'wake up' moment. I feel like I've not properly gotten to my senses yet. Maybe I need to drink another cup of coffee. There's one  left in the pot. I'm totally not in the mood for another cup, though, and I think I'll leave it. I did take my medicines about 45 minutes ago and I'm waiting for them to start working, with whatever result they bring me. That's always a surprise. Some days it is better than other days. I think today it is going to be disappointing. I should get off all of them. 

I've been sitting here in a stupor for the last 20 minutes, unable to write and thinking that I must go to a kick off clinic to get off all of my medication. I must discuss this  with my psychiatrist. I feel like I'm under the influence of drugs now and it's not a pleasant feeling. It's actually making me feel sick.

I think I will go sit down in my armchair for a while until I feel better and then maybe walk Tyke if I have time. 

Ciao,

Nora