Thursday, August 11, 2011

The becauses...

Because I had not slept so well last night and because I had gotten up so early this morning, I just took a two hour nap in my bed. I went to sleep quite devastated, but woke up in a much better frame of mind. 

I did just now take two tranquilizers, but I think they were due because I had not had any since early this morning. This was to prevent the next wave of devastation from washing over me. I felt it coming and wanted to head it off at the pass.

They are not quite working yet, but should be soon and I will be in safer waters.  Until that time, I'm drinking coffee to get at least my head on straight.  

I was in a hypo-manic mood during the night and had to force myself to go to bed when it was already quite late. That's why I only had a few hours of sleep. I had to go see my SPN this morning. I think I like being hypo-manic when it is first happening, but after a while it isn't funny anymore and I become trapped in it. 

I wish I didn't become it at all. Neither extreme is good. Being hypo-manic is just as bad as being depressed. You are not yourself and behave unpredictably. Both extremes are scary. 

Enough said about that. Sometimes I get so tired of myself. 



Gail said...

Maybe it's in the air, I have had a strange week myself.

Feel better soon.

Wisewebwoman said...

I think the constant grey here is doing my head in.
I had to force myself through to a writing deadline today and had 2,000 re-edits. At least it kept me busy but very frustrated.
How did it go with your SPN?