Because I had not slept so well last night and because I had gotten up so early this morning, I just took a two hour nap in my bed. I went to sleep quite devastated, but woke up in a much better frame of mind.
I did just now take two tranquilizers, but I think they were due because I had not had any since early this morning. This was to prevent the next wave of devastation from washing over me. I felt it coming and wanted to head it off at the pass.
They are not quite working yet, but should be soon and I will be in safer waters. Until that time, I'm drinking coffee to get at least my head on straight.
I was in a hypo-manic mood during the night and had to force myself to go to bed when it was already quite late. That's why I only had a few hours of sleep. I had to go see my SPN this morning. I think I like being hypo-manic when it is first happening, but after a while it isn't funny anymore and I become trapped in it.
I wish I didn't become it at all. Neither extreme is good. Being hypo-manic is just as bad as being depressed. You are not yourself and behave unpredictably. Both extremes are scary.
Enough said about that. Sometimes I get so tired of myself.