Sunday, August 28, 2011

Executive decisions...

Yesterday I decided to find a way out of my depression and started out the day immediately with a dose of tranquilizers. This had me feeling well very soon and I went from a vegetative state, in which I achieved nothing, into a functioning one in which I got chores done almost cheerfully. 

Not only that, sitting in my armchair with a cup of coffee and a cigarette contemplating my navel turned into a fun activity again during which I felt very mellow and relaxed. I was not stressed about the things I had to get done and knew I would finish them all in good time. I had an overall change of attitude. 

With every dose of medicines I had to take during the day, I took a dose of tranquilizers and they kept me on an even keel. My mood was good and I didn't sink into the dark depths of despair, nor did I have any unwanted thoughts kidnapping my mind.

I got all of my chores done without feeling like they were overwhelming me. I took a break between each chore and rewarded myself with something to drink and a cigarette. This way, I painlessly got one chore done after another. Things should always be this easy. It made me realize how much stress I always walk around with regardless of the depression. 

Now I'm sitting here in the middle of the night with a cup of freshly made coffee and I feel good. That's also because I don't dread the coming day. I know I will be alright and that the day will not be a god awful battle to get through. It will not be filled with negativism and sadness. I will mostly be filled with peaceful feelings and the knowledge of that gives me courage.

But it's nice to be up in the middle of the night anyway and enjoy the peace and quiet of the darkness. It has stopped raining and it is a clear night. Yesterday we had a lot of rain and thunderstorms. There will be showers today and it won't be very warm. 

I will definitely have to wear a warm sweater when I go see my sister in the afternoon and I don't think that we will be sitting in her garden. We'd probably get rained on. I just stood outside by the back door to let out the dog and it was mighty chilly out there. Can you believe that for August? It's supposed to be balmy weather now, even at night. 

I best go back to sleep for a while. It isn't quite time to stay up yet. I have to go put my somewhat chilled body under the duvet. 

Have a great Sunday.



Maggie May said...

Glad that you sound as though you have things under your control again.
Hoping that you will enjoy your day today with your sister.
It is definitely cooler here too. Not like August at all.
Maggie X

Nuts in May

'Cross the Pond said...

Have fun with your sister. Glad you're feeling content and in control. It's a good feeling.

Reggie said...

Accomplishments are so rewarding and you seem to have taken care of that very well.

Enjoy the time with your sister and stay positive :-)