No photos...

It's about time that I write a post for this poor neglected blog. It's been a while since I turned my attention to it. It's a perfect time to do so because it's late in the afternoon on a Friday and I have just walked the dog and have nothing pressing left to do. I always plan it that way and luckily (or not) I don't have a family to cook dinner for. I suppose it would make me happy if I had a really nice family and a really nice kitchen and enough food in the refrigerator to cook dinner with. But in my wildest fantasies I am rich so it would be no problem. 

Unfortunately, I never buy any lottery tickets so the chances of me becoming rich are very small if not non-existant. I don't know if I should be like all the other optimistic people and buy them. I have a feeling that I would never win anything because I am never lucky when it comes to those kinds of things. It would probably just end up costing me precious money. I'm going to have to marry a millionaire. But who would have me? I am past my prime, after all. 

I better start thinking more cheerful thoughts. It's no good to sit here and face that sort of reality too much, it might depress me and I'm not in the mood for that. Let's talk about the weather instead and I'll tell you that it's done with the sunshine and that it's been gloomy all day. It hasn't bothered my outlook on life and I've kept my chin up helped by numerous cups of coffee. I needed those because I got up too early this morning and had a shortage of sleep all day. The caffeine kept me going. 

The domestic help was here and the Exfactor, so I didn't get a chance to take a nap but I hope I'll sleep all the better tonight. I'll be a good dog owner and walk the dog one more time before I go to bed. That is instead of letting him do a piddle out back which I normally do. I'm usually not in the mood to go out anymore at night and most of all want to put my pajamas and my bathrobe on as quickly as possible. Maybe the fresh air will do me some good and help me sleep extra well. It doesn't get dark until 10:30 pm, so I'll be safe from the bad guys.

Have a good night.

Ciao,
Irene

On the success of not smoking...

I've had to keep myself entertained yesterday because I couldn't waste my time sitting in my armchair with a cup of coffee and numerous cigaerettes. That was onne of the methods I used to sit and contemplate my navel, but it is no longer possible since I quit smoking. I do still sit in my armchair on occasion but I don't contamplate my navel too much. I'm really not lost in thought as I dreamily peak through the clouds of smoke I exhale. 

I have to find other ways to fill my time now and it can be a bit of a problem because I'm an organized person and there really isn't that much to do. Yes, if I really think about it long and hard, I can think of chores to do that I've been putting off and that need my attention but they are not pressing matters. They are not shouting out at me to be done. 

I think what I'll do is take a trash bag and make a round through the apartment and just start filling the bag with obsolete items, be they big or small. I'll get rid of anything I'm doubtfull about and that includes the items that are in drawers and baskets that are sitting around. These are the catch all places in which things dispappear and then never see daylight again. 

It's almost 24 hours since I've quit smoking and it hasn't been difficult. Of course this is the third time I've quit and it is all so familiar to me. I really don't have much of a problem not lighting up a cigarette and very seldom feel that I have to. Sometimes I have a longing for one but the feeling is short lived. I just imagine myself inhaling smoke and how awful that really is and that helps me get over it. 

I aired out the apartment very well yesterday. I opened all the windows, and because it was windy outside, a good draft blew through. I don't smell the difference because no doubt my sense of smell is still impaired but I'll repeat the process today until I can be fairly sure that it smells good in here. I do have to spray the furniture with Febreze to get the smoky sell out of it.

It threatened to rain all day yesterday so I didn't hang any of my clothes outside to air on the clothes line. As it was, it didn't rain at all. I think I will just wash most of them in that good smelling washing powder and have that be good enough. There's still rain forecast for the next few days so I will dry them on the clothes rack in the bathroom. . 

I had an opportunity to smoke yesterday when I was at the hairdresser. I was offered a cup of coffee and a cigarette but I turned both down. I can't start making exceptions and I simply don't want to smoke anymore. I'm doing very well without it. 

I did get a good haircut and I'm happy with it. It's very easy to take care of hair and I should have gone in sooner. I thought it was barely time to have it cut but I was wrong. I could have gone a week ago or sooner. I was using way too much hairspray to keep my hairdo in place. 

Middle aged women do look better if they have decent haircuts. 

Ciao,

Irene

Before I take a nap...

I don't even know if I'm going to take a nap yet. It may be one way to get through a seemingly long and boring afternoon. I've already had a busy morning and there's nothing on the program for the rest of the day. I did get up early this morning before the sun had even gotten up properly. It was good to get an early start and walk the dog first thing once I was awake good and well. 

It was very cold this morning having gotten down to freezing during the night. Even in my winter coat I was not warm enough. There's a blustery wind blowing from the south, which is at least warmer than one blowing from the north. As usual, I can't get warm enough and am chilled down to my bones. I'm drinking hot coffee to get a little warmer but it hardly seems to help. I'm probably not carrying enough fat.

The Exfactor showed up first and was a welcome sight. I actually didn't need that many groceries but it was good to see his friendly face. He told me all about his long and cold weekend and his adventures on his motorcycle and all I could think was that I was glad that I wasn't on the back of it. I prefer comfort and warmth. Like sitting in a cozy car with the heater turned on. 

I made a short shopping list and asked him to be on the look out for a coffeemaker because I'm starting to long for real cups of coffee now. The Exfactor is usually in and out so many stores during the week that he is bound to run into one. The groceries were quickly done but I do have to eat one of the Greek yoghurts soon because the Exfactor accidentally poked his finger through the lid of one of them. That will be my mission for today then. 

My personal helper showed up next and we had a good time chatting about everything under the sun. She tells me many things she's not supposed to tell me and I have a good time listening to all her stories. Sometimes I fall out of my chair in amazement. I laugh at the ridiculousness of management and the silliness of bureaucracy. You wouldn't believe how bad it gets. I tell her that sometimes it sounds like she's in a very badly directed film. 

I've walked the dog for the second time and picked up the apartment. I have no laundry to do and no dishes to wash. I can't think of a thing to do. I've washed my hair and got it to look properly tousled again which was a bit of a job because it was so squeaky clean. I did have to put a lot of hairspray on it but now even this blustery wind can't destroy it. The only thing that would is a hurricane and I don't think we're about to have one. 

I've changed my clothes because I was too cold and because what I was wearing was tight and made my stomach stick out too much. I looked like I was several months pregnant and I'm too old for that. I can't get away with it. I'm wearing something a little more forgiving now. I have to remember to get more tops like this. I can't go around constantly holding in my stomach. I'm bound to forget and look silly. 

I've got to look for something to keep me occupied. How does a middle aged woman stay out of trouble? I can think of ways to get into trouble but they may not all be socially acceptable. 

Ciao,

Irene

Just make some coffee, woman!

Not too long ago, I was in a terrible mood. It felt like the world was coming to an end. I got up from my nap and felt devastated. I was literally in a number one depression and didn't know how to get out of it. I sat in my armchair with a glass of milk and just felt awful. I wondered what in the world had happened during my nap that I felt this way and why my day had suddenly ended up like that. 

Of course, what I didn't do was make a pot of coffee because that would have lifted my spirits soon enough. I was in such bad shape that it didn't dawn on me until a few hours later after I had suffered quite a bit. For some reason it actually did get through to me at one point to make a pot and once I did have a cup of coffee, I startted to feel a lot better. By the time I had my second cup, I was my usual cheerful self and all was well with the world. 

That just goes to show you what a benevolent chemical caffeine is for me and how I can't do without it at certain times of the day. I would still be in bad shape if it weren't for those cups of coffee. I might be contemplating all sorts of things now that I don't even want to think of. Thank god I did have the caffeine and that I was smart enough to make the coffee because I was almost in too much of a stupor to do that. I was saved by my instincts that finally kicked in.

The weather has been horrible today. It has been storming with a terrible strong wind blowing rain and hail sideways and thunder and lightening on top of that. I've been outside as little as I could and the dog has had to go out back mostly. The weather is very unpredictable and it does clear up for a few minutes at the time, only to suddenly become horrid again the next. Hopefully, this will all clear up by tomorrow, but I'm not sure if the rain will stop. 

I'm very comfortably seated here early in the evening and I'm glad the day is done. I feel that I'm just now coming to life. It was sort of a wasted day. I think the storm unsettled me and I didn't like the way the wind hit the rain against the windows. It's now temporarily quiet outside and it is very enjoyable. I've just turned on the heater and it's nice and warm in here. 

I very much like my new skinny jeans. They are very comfortable and they fit well and have enough stretch in them to allow easy movement. I certainly got the size right and will know from now on which ones to get. This brand is very good and relatively inexpensive. It's also nice to be able to order them online.and have them delivered the next day. I must also have a very easy size because the length of the legs is just right. It's nice when you can count on that.

The style that I've got my hair combed in now is much better than how I had it before. I can sleep on this hair and wake up looking decent. I hardly have to do anything to it to get it in shape and I don't have to use so much hairspray.. I've got it parted on the other side and it covers my thin spot better. That's my secret., by the way. Don't tell anyone. My hair looks fuller and is more manageable. I never tried this before, but wish I had. It's a real discovery. It's going to be so much easier to let it grow out now. 

I didn't wear any make up today and that's against my own rules. I didn't feel like getting all gussied up. For some reason, I liked myself well enough without it. Besides, I didn't go anywhere today. Putting on mascara is the hardest because of the low volume of eyelashes that I have left. They used to be thick and long, but as I've gotten older, they've gotten thinner and shorter. I think this is very unfortunate and one of the drawbacks of middle age. There ought to be a law against this sort of thing.

I hope you'll all have a good evening and better weather than we're having. 

Ciao,

Nora

English tea...

I'm having a pot of ordinary tea (it is called English tea) and it's not keeping me awake. I sat here reading blogs and I was slowly drifting off to sleep in my chair. "Well, go to bed then," I hear you all say, but I don't quite want to do that yet. I want to sit here in a stupor and see if I can write a post first while I break out into a sweat from the effort. 

Oh right, that may be from the hot tea. It does taste very nice and I hoped that whatever caffeine was in it would keep me awake, but it doesn't quite work like that, I guess. There is a difference between coffee and ordinary tea, apparently.

It did get me over the grumpiness that I felt when I had just gotten up. I'm grateful for that because that's the one big reason why I drink the coffee. It's to alter my mood, but the tea seems to have done the job too. I do have to say that I make strong tea. It is almost black and the sugar makes it sweet. Strong, sweet tea. Isn't that supposed to cure what ails you? 

Darn, it's hard to stay awake. I have to try and think of something interesting. It's hard to do when only some parts of your brain are functioning and others are in sleep mode. Maybe I can wake them up with a glass of ice cold milk. Sort of shock them into alertness. It's worth a try. 

I didn't stay up to watch 'Midsomer Murders' last night. I was too tired and went to bed early. That's because I didn't have my afternoon nap. Middle aged women like I do need their beauty sleep. I'll even miss a good thriller for that. 

I just let the dog out back and stood outside in the cold night air. There was a pleasant wind blowing and it cooled me off quite nicely.Now I'll appreciate getting under the duvet all the more. 

It's time to go back to bed, although I've stopped yawning and am alert again. The cold milk worked. Well, up to a point it did. I am somewhat looking forward to going back to sleep. I do know that I need at least several more hours. 

I hope you're all having a good night.

Ciao,

Nora

Nothing but coffee...

It's in the middle of the night and nothing but this cup of coffee I just poured is going to set my head straight. It tastes good even though I used the ground coffee sparingly. I'm starting to run out and the Exfactor won't be here to do the groceries until tomorrow which is a day late. He didn't inform me of this until after he had gone to the store on Friday. I'm also almost out of milk so I have to be very frugal. I will miss my tall glasses of cold milk very much. 

The good part is that the laxative tea I drank this afternoon just worked and I unloaded a small dump truck full. What a relief to be finally able to go. I want to shout it from the rooftops and hang out the flag. That goes to show you what simple pleasures there can be in middle aged life. Such events take on enormous importance and can't be overrated. 

Yesterday I was in a grumpy mood. That may partly have been because I was woken up in the morning by my personal helper and never got the chance to properly come to my senses. She expected me to be immediately talkative, while I needed some peace and quiet and several cups of coffee. 

I do need the time to myself in the morning and can't immediately be sociable. It takes me a while to pull myself together and become a semblance of a human being. Quiet time first thing when I wake up is very important. Needless to say, I was not able to carry on a conversation in the state I found myself in and never did get my act together properly. 

After my personal helper left, the domestic help showed up and she wanted to be sociable as well. This caused me to have to be more friendly than I felt. I didn't feel sociable at all. I did my best, but finally withdrew to the bedroom where I fell sound asleep on the bed with the dog. Falling asleep is my reaction to stress. 

It makes me appreciate the time on my own all the more. If I could always choose when I saw people it wouldn't be as bad, but that's not always the case. They do come whether or not I'm ready for them. I'm not in charge of my agenda. 

Today I have a day off from social obligations. I have no appointments like I often do on Tuesdays. The day will be mine to spend as I wish. There will be no intrusions. 

I'm going to start by going back to bed and finishing sleeping for as long as I can. At least I know I won't be woken up prematurely. It will be a wonderful thing. I like only having to deal with the animals when I wake up. They are enough company for me. A few words and a few cuddles are all that they need. 

Have a good day.

Ciao,

Nora

Upwardly middle aged blogging...

I'm so very thirsty, I could drink two liters of cold milk easily. Instead I'm having a cup of coffee which is waking me up, but is not doing much to quench my thirst. It is very good coffee, I've got that down to a science. As long as I make exactly six cups, I know precisely how much ground coffee to put in the filter. That's one formula I know. I should be able to make four cups and eight, but I haven't tried that yet. I always make six. 

I went on the bathroom scale when I got up and had lost a kilo. I wasn't expecting that and was pleasantly surprised. After all, it is in the middle of the night and that's not when I weight the least. All the signs were pointing to it, though. My clothes are roomy and I move around very easily as if I am a skinny person. Maybe I should get used to that and think of myself as one, but I still have what is so kindly called, love handles. I think they are the bane of middle age. 

I have a flat belly and no bottom and no fat on my thighs. I guess you could say I'm blessed, because at least I don't have a pear shape like so many women do. So, I very consciously count my blessings. When it comes to my hip hugging jeans, they don't have too much hip to hug. I'm the perfect candidate for them. I would have been wearing them sooner had I known this earlier, but then again, timing is everything in life and this is probably when I'm meant to wear them.

I think I've had enough coffee because I'm sufficiently awake. I couldn't be more alert than I am now. I've been drinking it from my favorite mug: the one that has my name on it. It's just big enough so that I can finish the coffee before it gets cold. I wish all my mugs were this size. A lot of them are too big and I always end up drinking cold coffee or having to toss it out. Not a lot of thought goes into the design of coffee mugs. It must be thought that bigger is better, as it is with everything in this day and age. 

Except, of course, that women are supposed to be an unobtainable size zero, which is only achieved by being anorexic and having an overindulgent exercise program. I do say this after proudly proclaiming that I've lost another kilo. 

I was supposed to have watched 'Wallander' last night, but it was on late and I didn't have the energy to stay up to watch it. I went to bed a half hour before it came on. I was only half sorry that I missed it needing my sleep so much. There's nothing I look forward to more than going to bed at night, sleeping for the few hours that I do anyway. 

The dog and the cat get on the bed with me and we have a cuddling session before everybody settles down for the night. There's sure a lot of loving going around. The dog is especially nice to pet now that all of his thick curls have been trimmed. He's a smooth dog and my fingers don't get tangled in his fur. He smells better too. 

Today it's supposed to be 24C and tomorrow and the day after that it will be 32C. It will be a regular heatwave. After that the temperatures are going down and we will have rain again. I'm going to have to dress appropriately and this will be the perfect opportunity to wash both pairs of skinny jeans on a high temperature to shrink them a bit. They are a little bit roomy. I could have done with a smaller size, but I thought that was impossible and too hard to believe.

I will now go and see what other sort of trouble I can get into. I've got to take my medicines because it has become dawn. I'm not ready yet to go back to bed. Maybe I will sit in my armchair and read my novel. I've got a tall glass of cold milk to quench my thirst.

I hope you'll all have a very good Sunday. Don't exhaust yourselves doing too many things. It is a day of rest, after all. 

Ciao,

Nora

Storm...

It's storming outside, making it feel cold inside too while it really isn't. It just makes you feel that way. The wind is noisily blowing down the street. I feel chilled even with my warm bathrobe on. It sounds like an autumn storm in February. At least it's not nearly cold enough to freeze, so that's a blessing. We do have to keep looking at the  positive side of things. It just as easily could be cold and snowing now, because it is the time of year for it and last year it did.

For a change I slept through the night while I dreamed many interesting dreams and woke up a couple of times in a sweat, but went back to sleep again immediately. I was very busy during the night, you might say. I even attempted to speak Spanish, but it came out as French. I never did learn enough Spanish to get around well, not even in my dreams. I keep dreaming about my first ex-husband who then proceeds to have pity parties and tries to make me feel guilty and do things I don't want to do. I do resist him and stick to my guns. I don't like dreaming about him and wonder why I still do. I must have some unfinished business with him. 

I'm having my cups of coffee now and very welcome they are too. I was fully awake when I got up, but I do need my coffee to really start functioning. I think I've had enough now and that I will switch to cold milk, because I'm thirsty.I would drink lemonade or juice if they would agree with my stomach better. Milk seems to settle the best, but everything makes me burp. That's because in my eagerness to quench my thirst, I drink it quickly. 

I always wake up with a very sore knee, but once I get up and start moving around, it gets better. It's when I sit in one position too long that it starts to bother me. Especially sleeping seems to be the worst thing for it. I sleep on my side and must lie in a way that hurts my knee the most. I don't get the feeling that it's getting better, but I suppose that I have to be patient. I am a middle aged lady, after all, and things may take longer to heal.

I ended up not going to my psychiatrist yesterday, because my appointment was for in the evening and I didn't feel like going out in the dark and cold weather. I canceled it and made a new appointment for next week during the day. That means I'm staying on these doses of medicines for now. That's okay. There's no need to rush the reductions. I just now feel that I'm at ease with the latest reduction, because I was a little bit wobbly every once in a while, although I wasn't sure it was because of that. It could have been because of anything. It's better to wait a while and to be sure of myself.

I went to my sister yesterday afternoon and had espressos and Italian cookies. The espressos always perk me up wonderfully and I don't need coffee for the rest of the day. The cookies were good, they were made of whole wheat flour  and only my gastric band prevented me from eating more than two of them. Which reminds me that I forgot to go on the bathroom scale this morning. Apparently I'm not clearheaded enough to think of that. 

The Exfactor is supposed to be here today and so is the domestic help. I will have to clean up the kitchen and change my bed before that time. Another load of laundry is just what I need. At least I feel awake enough to tackle that. 

Here's hoping you'll all have a good day!

Ciao,

Nora

Alone in the evening...

Having established that I have some kind of a bug, and that I am somewhat under the weather, I took an aspirin for my aches and pains and decided to be extra kind for myself. The aspirin is not working. I may as well have not taken anything, but you can't say I didn't try. I still ache all over, but maybe it's old age and I'm just now aware of it.

Maybe this is aches and pains and age awareness day. I'll try to have it made official and have it put on the calender. I really think that achy middle aged people need the recognition and that we should not hide our pain under a rock. Once you start to pay attention to your body, you realize you hurt all over, even down to your feet. It would be a shame not to get a day in the spotlight for that. I think we deserve it. We would be able to bitch and complain all day long.

No, besides having my usual aches and pains, I really do think I'm a bit under the weather, because I have a sore throat and a headache also and the aspirin did help those a bit. They're not as bad as they were, but I don't know if it's worth taking the aspirin for. It doesn't make that much difference. I'm not going: hallelujah, I'm feeling so much better now. 

I already showed these on my other blog, but these are the boots I ordered from Scapino that look like Ugg boots. They have a lining in them and are bound to be warm. They have profiled soles, which I hope will help me walk on the icy streets and sidewalks that may be clear of ice soon, because it's supposed to rain tomorrow and Sunday, which will make these boots unnecessary. Nevertheless, winter isn't over yet and no doubt I will need them later this season.

I am, once again, thrilled that it's the weekend. Will I never learn my lesson? I look forward to the unstructured time, while I know that can be a pitfall for me. I'm going to spend it being sick, or not and I'm going to feel great and enjoy the time in between showers and take Tyke for walks and avoid the slush that will be in the streets. 

The wind will come from the south west, so it will not be too cold. Ha, I'm an optimist. It's going to be 3 degrees Celsius and feel like minus 4. There's going to be a mix of rain and snow. I just looked it up. Well, I don't know what to make of that. Will the rain melt the snow or not? How curious! I can't wait for tomorrow. 

I've just gotten myself another cup of coffee. My attention was starting to wane a little bit. I need to be a bit more alert when I write a post. I can't sit here with a half awake head steeped in other thoughts than what I'm supposed to be paying attention to. It is very crucial to stick to the matters at hand. 

My personal helper did get here yesterday. She took the bus from her home in the hills into town and then walked to where she had to be. She was completely dressed for the snow and the cold and I had her thaw out first with a cup of coffee. She had to peel off layers of clothes and we thawed out her boots on a towel in the hallway by the radiator. She had to see clients in outlying villages after she saw me and had to walk to a bus stop to take the bus there. She had to leave here on time to get there, the poor thing.

I walked to the tobacco shop afterwards and discovered clean streets and fairly clean sidewalks where the city had sprinkled salt on the roads and the people had done the same on their parts of the sidewalk. It wasn't perfect, but nearly so. It did make me feel a lot safer, because although I was wearing my hiking boots, they didn't keep me from slipping the way I had hoped. They were pretty clunky as a matter of fact and I did not feel at all gracious in them. They never did bring me much comfort.

Tyke's finally settled down. He's gone sound asleep beside me. He did keep himself busy with all sorts of activities, including investigating why Gandhi was so fascinated with an empty cardboard box and he thought maybe he ought to be also. He did try to get into it, but was unsuccessful and it fell over, much to his surprise. Young dogs are so clumsy, especially when you compare them to cats.  Tyke's always knocking over things or bumping into them. It's amazing that he hasn't given himself multiple concussions yet when he chases his ball. He never even seems dazed by that. He's got a hard head. 

Gandhi is sound asleep on the sofa. She's tucked in like a hand muff. She's got a compact fluffy shape. She's such a good cat. She doesn't have a bad bone in her body. I hope she lives for a very long time.  I think she is nine years old now. I'll have to check her passport. 

No, she is not going to be nine until April next year. People always think she is a lot younger, though. Tyke is going to be 21 months old tomorrow. I'll buy him a cupcake for his 2nd birthday.

Well, that's it for me. I've got to read some blogs until I get tired enough to go to bed. 

Have a good night!

Ciao,

Nora