Summer Time...

I was already in bed and sound asleep when the dog started to bark. It startled me awake and I decided to get up to prevent him from barking again because that's the last thing I want. I had already set all the clocks and my watch one hour ahead before I went to bed, so to me it is an hour later now than it still really is. The time won't change until 2 am and it is not that yet. At least I am well prepared and I won't be fooled by what time it is in the morning when I get up for the second time. Believe me, there's logic in there somewhere. It all makes sense to me in a slightly convoluted way. 

So, I'm sitting here now being wide awake, having my coffee and my cigarettes, with a very quiet dog at my feet,  Of course, he had to go out back first before he would settle down and I was quite nervous that he would start to bark out there too, but he did no such thing, thank goodness. There's nothing like the unpredictability of a dog to make you feel on edge in the middle of the night when your neighbors are asleep. My adrenalin rushed through my body until he was inside again, especially since I have a grumpy neighbor who likes to complain about nothing at all.

Saturday went by well and it was a good day. The only thing I forgot to do was pick out a new novel from the bookcase. I never did get around to that because I didn't get a chance to sit in my armchair to read. 

In the morning I slept for a long time to catch up on the sleep I didn't get during the night and it was blessed. I woke up in an excellent mood and totally well rested and not under the influence of the effects of the new sleeping pills that I had stopped taking. Apparently the effects of those babies kept working all day long and did all sorts of things with me that weren't pleasant. I'm not going to try any others. I'll just live with things the way they are now and consider myself a night person. I do get my sleep eventually and that's the main thing. I haven't become psychotic yet because of lack of sleep. 

I took my time picking out an outfit that I wanted to be especially comfortable besides looking good. Comfort was the main thing, though. I wanted to feel easy in it and not have to worry about everything constantly being in place and looking well arranged. I have a couple of outfits that I feel especially comfortable in and I opted for one of those. I can sit as unladylike in it as I want when nobody is around. and it always looks good and is warm enough to wear. I would wear it every day if I could, but it it does have to go into the washing every now and then. 

It's a black, long sleeved, stretch T-shirt dress with a low slung belt that I wear over leggings with a lightweight cardigan on top that's open at the front. It makes me look slimmer than I am and therefor it's flattering. At my age, I need all of that I can get. 

I had to go to the tobacco shop and I remembered to pick out a card for my grandson who is going to be 14 years old in a couple of weeks. I must send the card with contents on time because he lives in the States. I even remembered to pick up a couple of lighters because those things always run out of fuel prematurely. Before you know it, you're left without the means to light your cigarettes. The only thing I forgot to buy was a chocolate bar, but I have chocolate pudding in the refrigerator and I get to have some of that every day so that takes care of that craving. When that is gone, I still have yogurt on which I sprinkle some sugar. I do have to take care of my sweet tooth. 

I watched an international indoor bike racing competition on television in which we finally won a bronze and gold medal on the third day, which is a good thing because the event is held in the Netherlands on a newly built course. We had higher hopes than that, but there's one day of competition left. Dutch people always expect to be the best at all sports and are surprised when we aren't. We assume we belong to the world top in everything. Maybe we are naive optimists. Or maybe we really are fairly good at a lot of things. We have a lot of gumption for a little country and great fans all decked out in orange at every occasion. 

As soon as I'm done writing this, I'm going to choose a novel from the bookcase and put it ready for me to start reading by my armchair. I'm very curious as to what I will find there. I've got to get myself into the proper mood to read. I would really like a thriller and hope I can find one. An Inspector Linley would be nice. I need light entertainment, nothing too intellectual. My brain can't handle anything that's too deep and introspective. No high drama. You'll see the book magically appear on my sidebar.

I'm going to see my sister this afternoon. I haven't seen her in forever. She's always got such a busy life. We do keep daily contact by telephone, but it's not the same as seeing each other. I will drink good cappuccinos and eat Italian cookies of which I will only be able to eat two and then I will be full and I will burp a lot, but it will be worth it. 

Have a great day you all. It's now officially summer time. 

Ciao,

Nora

The most excellent time of the night...

I have slept four hours and am in good spirits. That is only one hour less than if I had taken my new sleeping pills, proving my point that they really don't work. And I feel better waking up too, making me all the more happy. So, the psychiatrist was right in telling me yesterday not to take them anymore. I can only agree with him, besides, the less pills, the better. They all have side effects and I believe these ones made me grumpy and emotional during the day. I'll have to see if today goes any better, but I assume it will. 

I am sat here with my cup of coffee and my cigarettes and all of my good intentions and a very good mood. I somehow want to act on them and make them count, but that's hard to do in the middle of the night. I can't perform good deeds or climb any mountains or make a trip around the world. If I were a billionaire I could maybe do some of these things impulsively. That's a huge daydream I could get lost in and I just did. I do have to call myself to order. 

This very good mood I am in will have to be put to use some other way. I will just have to write a good post and try to get my good vibes across. 

There's nothing nicer than sitting here in the middle of the night, feeling very good all by myself and wishing to share it with somebody else. If I could make your day seem brighter, I would be very happy. I would want your half empty glass to seem half full. I would want you to count all your blessings and be grateful for them, no matter how small they were.

But that sounds too evangelical and I don't want to come across as someone like that. You get to decide those things for yourself. There is such a thing called self determination, after all, in which you choose your own destiny and the things you believe in along the way. You have to pick your own attitude and outlook. I can't force you into one or the other. 

I'm now sitting here with a glass of cold milk and am thinking of all the ways a person can enjoy themselves if they can hang on to their good mood indefinitely. It seems to me that even the little things in life would be a joy to do if your mood was always good. Everything would be done without a struggle. I can't count on such predictability. My moods are too changeable for that. They go through the whole range from high to low and back again in one day. Especially at this time of the year. I'm a wobbly woman. I need my own cheerleader section. 

I am taking my time writing this because I'm continually distracted by my own thoughts. It's called daydreaming, I think. Sometimes I do a lot of that. I'm also developing a sore throat, which is surprising because as far as I know, I haven't been exposed to anyone who is ill. Oh yes, one of the domestic helps had tonsillitis and was taking antibiotics for it. I hope I'm not getting sick. It would be a waste of a good weekend, but I suppose the timing would be good. I have nothing really important planned. 

I can actually say that I'm glad that it is Saturday. I'm going to take the day off and rest on my laurels. Oh yes, I do have to go to the tobacco shop. That will be my outing for the day then. I do look forward to the day. I get to pick out a new novel from the bookcase and I'm full of curiosity as to what it's going to be. I feel like a thriller, but I don't know if I have any left that are unread. Wish me luck at finding something good. 

Have a good day and stay out of trouble. 

Ciao,

Nora

No rest for me...

I was already in bed asleep, but then a dog started to bark nearby and every time it barked, Tyke answered it. I can't have that, of course, and I tried to get Tyke to stop barking, but to no avail. He would only stop if I got up.

So now I'm sitting here with my sleepy head guarding over Tyke who has gone to sleep by my feet. Every once in a while he lifts his head very alertly and listens for the barking dog. He tries to bark, but I stop him. Imagine if I was trying to be asleep in bed right now. It would be a disaster. 

To try and stay awake, I have made some coffee, but I really don't want to be awake right now. I'm awake under protest.  All because of that darn dog. I am yawning and the tears are rolling down my cheeks, but the coffee ought to take care of that quickly. 

I may as well make the best of it and make myself comfortable and write something good. Or at least make an attempt to. I can't guarantee that I'll be able to in this state, although the coffee is perking me up a bit. 

I had a very uninteresting day and spent a lot of it sleeping. I did walk Tyke a couple of times and even made it to the tobacco shop where I also bought a chocolate bar. I thought it was about time that I had something sinful. The chocolate made me feel very full and very good. I know there's a natural feel good chemical in it that works especially well for women. That's why women have such a thing for chocolates. I could eat a whole box of bonbons right now and it's a good thing that I don't have one handy. 

The tobacco shop had been closed the last time the Exfactor had gone grocery shopping, so he had bought me an inferior pack of tobacco at the supermarket. I made do with it, but it wasn't the same as smoking my regular tobacco. Today I bought two packs of it and made cigarettes with it and boy, was that ever a different experience. I didn't realize that I liked my regular tobacco so much. The other cigarettes were like inhaling air in comparison. They took care of my nicotine need, but that was about it. The cigarettes I have now are like smoking Gauloises as compared to Marlboro's. They pack a real punch. I mean, if you're going to smoke at all... I never understood those women that smoke menthol cigarettes called Belinda. 

I took a nap in the afternoon as has become a habit now and I take it in my bed because that's much more comfortable than the sofa. Tyke can get on the bed with me much easier than he can get on the sofa. I also don't wake up with a sore knee which is still bothering me if I don't have it in the right position. I've found out that lying on my back is the best way to sleep and if I fall asleep like that, I wake up like that too. I don't move around much in my sleep. It's the kindest way to lie down for my knee because I have both my legs stretched. There's still room for Tyke to lie down too. 

I wasn't too depressed today, but that may have been because it was Saturday and a day of no stress. The same will count for tomorrow. The only things I have to do tomorrow is change my bed and do the dishes. Oh yes, and put out the trash. I forgot to do that last week because the trash men came here on Saturday instead of Monday because of the holidays. That had escaped my attention. 

I do like the weekends and would like for them to last longer like they did a week ago. The only drawback is that the stores are closed for such a long time. The cafes are open and if you wanted to go downtown and sit on a terrace in the nice weather, it would be a fun way to spend the time. Let's face it, though, chances are that I will not do that because I will find excuses not to go. It will be too involved and unless somebody physically comes and gets me, I won't go. I find the bike ride down there too bothersome. I'm glad I make it to my SPN's office. 

That dog is still barking and I still can't go back to bed. I'm wide awake now and not about to go anywhere. I will have to find ways to amuse myself. Tyke is very alert and looking around the window shade. I think he's trying to figure out where that dog is. He's looking into the dark night. 

I've got to find some other things to do now. I think I've made this epistle long enough. I've got to drink a tall glass of lemonade to quench my thirst and put ice cubes in it to make it extra cold. I wish my refrigerator had a built in ice cube maker, but that is too much of a luxury. It wouldn't fit in my kitchen. I'm so deprived of luxuries. I don't take anything for granted. 

Have a good night.

Ciao,

Nora

Ain't singing the blues now...

It's too early in the morning to sing the blues. Besides, who sings the blues in the morning? Nobody in their right mind would, would they? The morning is still full of promise of things to come. The day is unfathomable and can't be measured until the end of it.  The possibilities are endless, at least, so I tell myself. But then I'm an optimist and I very much do see the glass half full. Except when it's full of ice cold milk and I've been drinking it, but in that case it's quickly filled again. 

Yesterday morning I was at first grumpy when I got up out of bed and thought the day would be endless and boring, but a cup of coffee helped get me over my initial dislike of the day and the day itself got me over my wariness of it. There were enough diversions to make it a worthwhile day and one that was enjoyable, although nothing very special happened at all. It was just ordinary life taking place, but that was good enough. Ordinary life can be very satisfying if you stop and appreciate the little things and are grateful for them. 

Like walking through the snow that is slowly melting, but that is still deep to the point that I sink into it and that makes Tyke have an awful lot of fun. He's hard to move from one place to the next, because apparently many interesting things hide under the snow and he has to investigate them all and finally pee on them. That outing is a whole adventure by itself. 

It's made better now by the new boots I ordered with a much better profile in the soles and that arrived yesterday. I tried them on immediately and much to my relief they fit. I ordered them one size smaller, because on the website it had said that they were a bit large for their size. When I wore them in the snow and on the ice, I was a lot steadier and didn't slip once. I'm still a bit scared, but I'm sure I'll gain confidence with experience. I'm so used to almost falling over, that I can't believe that now I'm not.

I got a huge pile of mail from the mailbox, but when I sat down and looked through everything, most of it turned out to be unimportant, regardless of the seriousness of the sender. It all looked very official, but turned out to be so many storms in glasses of water and I soon had it reduced to a pile of recyclable paper. There was not one bill in there and that certainly made me feel good. There were a couple of Christmas cards which made me feel even better. I considered all of that a piece of good luck.

I slowly got chores done, although I have some left to do today. I have very clean laundry to hang up and another load to wash. I must do the dishes, but first I have to find some interesting clothes to wear. I hope something magically appears from the closet. If not, I'll have to go in search of it. This will not be a problem, as I'm bound to find something I like. The only thing to worry about is to dress warm enough. 

The Exfactor is supposed to be here today and I will send him to the tobacco shop, although I still have a bit of a supply. It's better to be safe and have extra over the holidays. It's New Year's Eve and tomorrow the stores will be closed. Tonight at midnight the whole town will set off fireworks and there will be no going to sleep until 1 am. That's how long it takes for the whole spectacle to end. It would be impossible to sleep through the noise, much as I'd like to.

I wish you a Happy New Year and all the best wishes for 2011. 

Ciao,

Nora

Early in the morning...

It's with some amount of pleasure that I sit here drinking my coffee and smoking my cigarettes. It's early in the morning still, but I am wide awake and ready for the day to start. I went to bed on time last night and slept well. I was more than ready to go to sleep, because there was nothing on television that I was interested in after I watched the Dutch speed skating championships. They weren't even that exciting to watch and I was only pretending they were. The commentary was almost more interesting than the races themselves. Sometimes you have to fake an interest and act like it matters. I wasn't for any skater in particular, especially since Sven Kramer didn't participate. He was out because of an injury. 

After that it was really time to shut off the television and call it a day. I postponed going to bed for a while, because it was awfully early, but after some time I went ahead and changed into my pajamas. I listened to an interview with a well known architect on the radio and thought that some of it was bullshit. I think people make themselves and their methods and motivations look better than they are. They are asked for explanations and suddenly have to come up with them when they really do things for reasons even unknown to them and not well thought out and planned at all. They are put on the spot and have to look good.

I fell asleep after a while and slept without remembering my dreams. It was just a long dark night. Tyke woke me up because he had to go out. He gently growled at me. I let him out and made coffee. The coffee was most welcome. The first cup tasted like the elixir of life and gave me a kick. The second cup I drank for good measure. There isn't going to be a third cup this morning. I don't need it. 

The snow is very slowly melting as the temperatures are above freezing. There are supposed to be some rain showers today. I wonder if they will be enough to melt the rest of it? It will probably just turn into a big slush, I think there's too much snow and ice. Actually, at this point I wouldn't mind if all of it was gone, because it's no fun to walk in any more. It's downright dangerous. 

My Wednesday personal helper is coming this morning at 8:30. I have to make sure I'm ready before that time. I want to strip my bed and put clean sheets on and run the washing machine. I'll have two loads to do, but I like doing laundry. 

I have to keep in mind that Saturday will be a holiday and that all the stores will be closed. The Exfactor was here yesterday to do the groceries, but he said he would be here on Friday again in case I needed anything else. My shopping list was so short. I keep thinking I've forgotten something crucial. I may need tobacco before the weekend is over, that's something I always have to calculate in. 

Look, I'm just writing down a bunch of nonsense. It's basically to keep you up to date. I'm not planning on doing anything special with my day. If I'm lucky, I won't need a nap. I've completely stopped taking the tranquilizers during the day, so they're not something that make me tired anymore. All I can think I'm doing now is hibernating, although it's possible that the anti-psychotics make me tired. They do have that side effect. I'll know once I decrease them more. 

Have a nice day, everyone. Don't let the weather get to you too much. 

Ciao,

Nora

Gently falling snow...

I'm drinking my second cup of coffee while outside it is still snowing. It has been since forever, but it is very fine snow now and accumulates slowly. Still, there's quite a bit of it out there and it looks wonderful and white and pristine. No one has walked in it yet and there are no tire tracks. It's too early in the morning for that. Every once in a while, I go to the window and push the shade aside and look outside to take it all in. I seem to especially like this round of snowfall. It fits the upcoming holidays, doesn't it? A white Christmas is something special. 

I woke up very happily with a head of short hair and ran my fingers through it. Every hair was in place and that pleased me very much. I must remember to go to the hairdresser on time, because obviously it makes me very happy. There's nothing better than waking up with a decent hairdo. The only thing that bothers me is the terribly itchy skin that I have on my scalp. I scratch it subconsciously and make it worse. There must be a good solution for it.

Today I have a day off, The domestic help isn't coming, because she is sick and there is no replacement. I didn't want a complete stranger in the apartment and they couldn't tell me who was going to come instead, so I begged off. I don't mind if just for once there isn't anyone here. It gives me a little break. 

The Exfactor is going to try and be here in spite of the weather. He'll probably not make it on his motorcycle, but will take the train instead. The buses aren't driving. All services are canceled and the police are only coming out for emergencies. It's even a question if the trains will run. 

I do hope the Exfactor will make it, because he will bring the spare mobile phone that he's got  to replace the one that Tyke demolished and that's left me incommunicado. I feel very primitive without a phone, but at least I'm able to email when I want to reach someone. It's just a little bit slower if they're not behind their computer at that moment. 

I have to go to the tobacco shop to buy supplies and also buy a new cigarette case, because I'm using old cigarette packages now and they fall apart after a while. Besides, I can never get enough cigarettes in them and I'm always running out. They have nice sturdy cases at the tobacco shop and I will pick one out in a pleasant color. It will be an accessory, so it has to look good. I don't want to go around with ratty looking cigarette packages anymore.  I do have to show more class than that. 

I want to go wash my hair with the blond lightening shampoo. I think the girl at the hairdresser's didn't use it this time. It does make a difference with how well your hair looks and it brightens it up just a bit. It's early in the morning still and I have lots of time to do all sorts of things. I can dawdle for a while before I have to get the show on the road and get serious about anything.

Have a nice day.

Ciao,

Nora

The weekend.

It's Saturday, the first day of the weekend, but I'm not going to let that bother me. I'm going to act like it's a day like any other day and not give it a different connotation. I will get dressed in a little while and take Tyke for a walk, even though he's already done all of his business out back. It will get me in the proper mood for the rest of the day and I do have to go out this morning and go to the tobacco shop. I will be ready and in the starting blocks.

It hasn't snowed any more, despite the predictions, and even though it snowed a lot in the west of the country, we are left with the couple of inches that we already had. I found out that my boots are snow proof, so that's a relief, and they are warm enough. I just mustn't walk around in wet slush with them. I also found out that if I wear thin socks in my hiking boots, they fit a lot better and I don't get a blister on my toe that turns into a permanent sore spot. Of course, I haven't tried them on long distances yet and will not. I'd rather not tempt fate. 

I think I will watch a lot of cultural programs on television today, because Saturday is the day for it, and there will be the news on. There will be sports later on in the day, but a lot of football matches got canceled because of the snow. The cultural programs are about art and literature and architecture, amongst others. They're usually quite interesting, although not always to my taste, but challenging nonetheless. A person does need to be keeled out of his comfort zone sometimes. It gives you an opportunity to think about certain expressions of art and understand them better, even if you don't take to them or are even repelled by them.

Well, I've just taken my medicines and I have to get the show on the road. It's still dark and quiet outside and it will be a perfect opportunity to walk Tyke. We will have the world to ourselves. 

Have a good day!

Ciao,

Nora

Forgetful time...

It's early in the morning and I'm brewing a cup of coffee. I just had a glass of cold milk, but now I need some caffeine. The milk has made me feel cold and I have to turn up the thermostat to get warm again. I had it turned down low for the night. 

It is raining outside and it looks like it has been all night because almost all of the snow and the ice are gone. The streets and the sidewalks are just about clear again, which is great. There will be no slipping and sliding when I go outside today. I will be able to walk Tyke again in the usual manner and that will be a great relief to both of us. We've been cooped up inside enough and are getting cabin fever. 

I'm sure I've never appreciated rain as much as I do now. I'll be able to ride my bike to the tobacco shop and that is a lot easier than having to walk there on the slippery sidewalks in this neighborhood. Riding my bike had been an impossibility and I don't know how the Exfactor managed it when he went to get my groceries. I suppose he is more fearless than I am and not afraid to fall and break something. Maybe his male hormones make him more brave or foolhardy. Either way, he got them done. 

Today he is coming over for a cup of coffee and the domestic help will be here as well, which means I have to clean up the apartment a bit. I always have to clean up the apartment before she comes. I have to put some order into it anyway, so it will be easy for her to clean it. 

And much to my surprise it is Friday again, which seems impossible. It means I have to prepare myself for the weekend and not have it be another unstructured waste of time. I can pretend I'm sick again and spend it in my bathrobe. It did have its appeal. It made me feel safe and cloistered, as if I was hibernating in a sheltered place.. 

I can also be more engaged and get dressed and take Tyke for regular walks and fill my days with more interesting activities, but then I do have to pull the wool over my own eyes and pretend I have those. I'll just watch a lot of television and act like that matters. There will be cultural programs on and lots of sports. I'll pretend to be engaged by them. I must care about something, recluse that I am. 

I'll find some comfortable clothes to wear that are also warm and I don't have to wear my hiking boots anymore. That's a relief anyway. I can wear another pair of boots. It will be a sport to stand in front of the closet and pick out the right outfit for the weekend. I'll opt for comfort more than anything. I'm in that kind of mood. 

So okay, the weekend will be about comfort and warmth and it's starting today. A day early, I'm cheating a bit. 

Have a good day.

Ciao,

Nora

Alone in the evening...

Having established that I have some kind of a bug, and that I am somewhat under the weather, I took an aspirin for my aches and pains and decided to be extra kind for myself. The aspirin is not working. I may as well have not taken anything, but you can't say I didn't try. I still ache all over, but maybe it's old age and I'm just now aware of it.

Maybe this is aches and pains and age awareness day. I'll try to have it made official and have it put on the calender. I really think that achy middle aged people need the recognition and that we should not hide our pain under a rock. Once you start to pay attention to your body, you realize you hurt all over, even down to your feet. It would be a shame not to get a day in the spotlight for that. I think we deserve it. We would be able to bitch and complain all day long.

No, besides having my usual aches and pains, I really do think I'm a bit under the weather, because I have a sore throat and a headache also and the aspirin did help those a bit. They're not as bad as they were, but I don't know if it's worth taking the aspirin for. It doesn't make that much difference. I'm not going: hallelujah, I'm feeling so much better now. 

I already showed these on my other blog, but these are the boots I ordered from Scapino that look like Ugg boots. They have a lining in them and are bound to be warm. They have profiled soles, which I hope will help me walk on the icy streets and sidewalks that may be clear of ice soon, because it's supposed to rain tomorrow and Sunday, which will make these boots unnecessary. Nevertheless, winter isn't over yet and no doubt I will need them later this season.

I am, once again, thrilled that it's the weekend. Will I never learn my lesson? I look forward to the unstructured time, while I know that can be a pitfall for me. I'm going to spend it being sick, or not and I'm going to feel great and enjoy the time in between showers and take Tyke for walks and avoid the slush that will be in the streets. 

The wind will come from the south west, so it will not be too cold. Ha, I'm an optimist. It's going to be 3 degrees Celsius and feel like minus 4. There's going to be a mix of rain and snow. I just looked it up. Well, I don't know what to make of that. Will the rain melt the snow or not? How curious! I can't wait for tomorrow. 

I've just gotten myself another cup of coffee. My attention was starting to wane a little bit. I need to be a bit more alert when I write a post. I can't sit here with a half awake head steeped in other thoughts than what I'm supposed to be paying attention to. It is very crucial to stick to the matters at hand. 

My personal helper did get here yesterday. She took the bus from her home in the hills into town and then walked to where she had to be. She was completely dressed for the snow and the cold and I had her thaw out first with a cup of coffee. She had to peel off layers of clothes and we thawed out her boots on a towel in the hallway by the radiator. She had to see clients in outlying villages after she saw me and had to walk to a bus stop to take the bus there. She had to leave here on time to get there, the poor thing.

I walked to the tobacco shop afterwards and discovered clean streets and fairly clean sidewalks where the city had sprinkled salt on the roads and the people had done the same on their parts of the sidewalk. It wasn't perfect, but nearly so. It did make me feel a lot safer, because although I was wearing my hiking boots, they didn't keep me from slipping the way I had hoped. They were pretty clunky as a matter of fact and I did not feel at all gracious in them. They never did bring me much comfort.

Tyke's finally settled down. He's gone sound asleep beside me. He did keep himself busy with all sorts of activities, including investigating why Gandhi was so fascinated with an empty cardboard box and he thought maybe he ought to be also. He did try to get into it, but was unsuccessful and it fell over, much to his surprise. Young dogs are so clumsy, especially when you compare them to cats.  Tyke's always knocking over things or bumping into them. It's amazing that he hasn't given himself multiple concussions yet when he chases his ball. He never even seems dazed by that. He's got a hard head. 

Gandhi is sound asleep on the sofa. She's tucked in like a hand muff. She's got a compact fluffy shape. She's such a good cat. She doesn't have a bad bone in her body. I hope she lives for a very long time.  I think she is nine years old now. I'll have to check her passport. 

No, she is not going to be nine until April next year. People always think she is a lot younger, though. Tyke is going to be 21 months old tomorrow. I'll buy him a cupcake for his 2nd birthday.

Well, that's it for me. I've got to read some blogs until I get tired enough to go to bed. 

Have a good night!

Ciao,

Nora

On succesfully being awake and living to tell about it.

Although I had a big mouth this morning about getting dressed and going out early to walk Tyke, I did no such thing, but went to bed instead and slept for 4 hours. The prospect of going out in the cold morning air wasn't all that appealing when I considered my warm and cozy bed and the sleepiness that suddenly started enfolding me. I decided to do the easiest thing first and get a few hours of sleep before I became an active and responsible dog owner. I set the alarm clock so I would not stay in bed too long and fell asleep almost instantly with Tyke by my side. I guess he was okay with the whole plan and he snuggled up quite cozily. 

When I got up, I made myself the obligatory coffee and smoked some cigarettes. Waking up wasn't too hard and I hardly had any cobwebs. I had two cups of coffee and I didn't feel discombobulated at all. Then Tyke and I got ready to walk to the tobacco shop with baggies in my pocket and my wallet in my purse. Tyke likes the walk there, because it allows him to explore some different territory and to pee against different trees and bushes and to hopefully find edible items when we pass the little shops. He is an equal opportunity eater because he eats from the fish monger and the Arab grocer. 

When we got to the tobacco shop, it was closed due to illness, so we had to turn around and go home again, because I could not take Tyke to the supermarket. I took a different route home, thinking that would be exciting for Tyke and I was not mistaken. There were many good trees that needed to be thoroughly sniffed and examined and very regularly there was something minuscule on the sidewalk that needed to be closely looked at and tasted. Tyke lies down and makes himself into a dead weight that refuses to budge and can't be moved without you looking like an animal abuser. So you stand and wait until he's done. I have to have patience. Luckily, I had little kids once and I've been well trained. 

I did chores when I got home, because my domestic help was coming and I do want to look like someone who cares and empties her ashtrays and folds her laundry. It was my very own Monday domestic help that was coming, so I was very happy about that. I picked up the place as much as I could without actually cleaning it and sorted out all the things that needed to be sorted. I even tackled the mail and it was all good mail. I was supposed to have done this yesterday, but I chickened out at the last moment. My excuse was that it was Sunday then and not a day to worry about bills.

I rode my bike to the supermarket in the afternoon, in the bright sunshine, in the somewhat chilly temperatures, and made copies of my passport and birth certificate for my daughter who is applying for a Dutch passport. We are in the preliminaries and many certified copies of documents will have to be sent. I also bought tobacco and filter tubes and managed to retrieve my bike out of the overfull bike rack without damaging it and without pulling a lot of other bikes out with it. It's the handlebars that get caught. It's like when you have a box full of clothes hangers and you want to pull one out and they all get caught in each other and you pull them all out.

I just took Tyke out for another walk and we went to the field. There was a little Yorkshire Terrier puppy running around and it was love at first sight. I've never seen such a thing. That puppy looked like he was attached to a rubber band and hopped up and down around Tyke quicker than a ping pong ball. Tyke was mesmerized. I think he would like a little puppy of his own. Oh, I mustn't even think about it.

I'm getting awfully tired and must think about going to bed. I haven't had that much sleep. It will be nice to lie in bed and read for a while and hopefully remember to hide my book from Tyke. 

Have a good night everyone. 

Ciao,
Nora

For the better part of it...

I woke up after a couple of hours of sleep and was wide awake. I got up immediately and didn't even try to stay in bed and go back to sleep. All I could think was, "Get up, get up, and make the most of it." I didn't want to stay in bed and struggle with sleep and nightmares and tossing and turning, when I could be up and have a good time behind the computer in the quiet time of the middle of the night. I realize that now I have to catch up on my sleep during the day or otherwise pay a terrible price in the form of a depression, but I've got the whole morning to sleep and I assume I will get tired toward the dawn. 

I now realize why I don't like sleeping during the night. It's those nightmares and the tossing and turning and the feeling that the night seems to last forever and be a matter of hard labor that turns me off. That headache I woke up with in the morning, and that I thought had disappeared with the first cup of coffee, returned in full force and lasted all day until I took a paracetamol with codeine. I'm sure it is a stress headache and not a migraine, and several times my neck cracked when I turned it, but I don't think you're supposed to get stress from sleeping. The nightmares bothered me very much and I didn't want a repeat of that.

I did last well all day, though, and didn't feel the need for a nap and my mood was good all day long. I even changed my clothes and got properly dressed and put earrings in. It does feel good to look nice and feel as if you've pulled yourself together, even if it is only for your own benefit and to walk the dog in. At least I enjoyed walking the dog several times, regardless of the never ending sameness of the scenery and it wasn't a chore like it sometimes is. Walking a dog in the suburbs can be very non-challenging and boring. I'm sure it isn't that much fun for the dog either, although he seems to make a big deal out of it and is always tracking something. Maybe he gets a bigger kick out of it than I do and I'm projecting my feelings onto him. 

I have to set the alarm clock for 10 am, because the tobacco shop is only open in the morning on Mondays. I must get my own brand of tobacco, because anything else doesn't taste as good and is thrown away money. The stuff they sell at the supermarket isn't half as nice and comes in inferior containers that have a lot of crumb in them. I guess you could say that when it comes to tobacco, I am a connoisseur and that's why I have it specially ordered. 

I have just taken my morning medication and am waiting for that to work. I should be more relaxed in just a while. Subconsciously a lot of tension creeps in as the day grows nearer. I start to worry about how the day will go and about the things I'm supposed to do and I always feel like I'm not up to doing them. They overwhelm me, simple as they are. I'm starting to get a headache and I guess that's the new way the stress is going to manifest itself.

I'm waiting to get tired now. I expect I'll get sleepy soon, but I don't feel it yet. I think I will wait until it's time to take Tyke for a walk and then maybe go to bed. It's cold outside and the cool air should do wonders for my headache. It will shock it right back to where it came from. 

Have a good morning.

Ciao,
Nora