A misconception...

I managed to sleep for more than 7 hours last night, although I did get up to go to the toilet once. I was smart enough to go back to bed, but I woke up when I couldn't catch my breath and was having breathing problems, which would be the sleep apnea acting up. I got up then and looked at the alarm clock and decided that I had slept enough and that it was okay to start the day and go have a cup of coffee. 

So far that's all I've had, one cup of coffee, and I'm undecided if I will have another one. There's enough for one more cup in the pot and I think I may as well have it, though the desire is not great like it usually is. I used to drink coffee as if it were the elixir of life and I don't have that anymore now. Not since I've stopped taking my sleeping pill and on top of that, I'm sleeping better too.

I was out walking Tyke last night and found it very cold. I'm just not used to it anymore and can't imagine it getting colder than this. My legs don't feel warm enough in the leggings and pretty soon I'll have to start wearing knitted tights underneath them.

There seems to be some idea that I can't write about my memories here from when I was a child. That somehow this is going to be damaging to me and that by doing so I will become a sorrowful heap of sadness who won't be able to get through the rest of the day. I have to tell you that this is not true and that writing down these memories can be very liberating. I am, after all, exposing the experience for the farce that it was and the culprit for the bully they were. All of it was a farce, of which I was unfortunately the victim, but that is how I look back on it now. I was a child, but very much aware that something was majorly wrong with the picture. That I was ruled by imbeciles and the main goal in  my life was to become an adult as quickly as possible and be free of them. Now, it is true that this backfired on me, but the intention was there. 

Enough said about that. 

Tyke was very bad during the night and pulled my clothes off the rattan chair and chewed on my bra and my boots. I got very angry with him, but I don't think he is impressed. Now I have to leave my clothes in the bathroom where he can't get to them, but he also pulled a book off the shelf and chewed on it. He's being especially destructive lately, even though I take him for more walks. I think he wants more attention from me and it is possible that he's not getting enough of that. I have been preoccupied and he must sense that my mind is not on the job. 

Today is the first Monday that I'm also getting a personal helper besides on Fridays and I'm looking forward to it. She will motivate me to get things done and be company for me. Getting things done is the most important thing, such as taking a shower and washing my hair and finding new clothes to wear, which are important things to start the week with. I have a hard time getting the show on the road on Mondays and I also realized just now that I have to stop taking my tranquilizers in the morning, because they make me feel too tired and they slow me down. So I do need to drink some more coffee and hope they wear off soon. I won't take any this afternoon. I think I have enough in my system and it will be a good time to start reducing them. 

Right, I have to get going. I have to pick up the pieces of the destroyed book and clean up the kitchen. It does have to look as though I care a little bit. 

Ciao,
Nora