Saturday, October 2, 2010

Keeping up appearances...

I just woke up from a nap on the sofa and it is dark in the living room. I need to turn on some lights, but haven't done so yet, except for my desk lamp. Gandhi and Tyke are sleeping on the sofa. 

I feel very sad and lonely, as if I've been forsaken by everyone I care about. I know I will feel better soon because I have just taken my medicines and the tranquilizers will put me in a better mood. I know that if I were to make coffee now, I would start to feel better also, but I don't want to drink coffee at this time of the day, so I'm drinking lemonade instead, which is not a mood altering beverage. 

I'm yawning a lot, but I need to stay up now because I have to walk Tyke later and I don't want to go to bed too early. I do need to get on some sort of a normal schedule. I think I've been messing around enough now. This past week seems like a bad dream that I've had and I don't know why I've done half the things I've done. I need to do some damage control and the best way I can do that is by taking better care of myself. 

I'm starting to feel better now and I don't feel so sad and lonely anymore. It's been 45 minutes since I've taken my medicines. Yes, I'm writing this awfully slowly. I'm doing a lot of thinking while I write this and I'm contemplating my navel a lot. I've got a lot on my conscience and I feel like I've been the cause of an accident. I'm leaving behind flotsam in my wake and I've got to clear up the wreckage. 

At least I seem to be coming to my senses. I'm having a temporary attack of awareness anyway. I hope it will turn into a longer period of awareness. You never know with these things. It may be a moment of wisdom and it may be as fleeting as a puff of air. I can be very insightful and forget about it in another mood. That's why it's good to reread my own posts now and then. 

Have a good evening. 



Maggie May said...

I hope you stay on an even keel of well being.

I really do love the artwork that you are using on your blog. Very appealing era, I think.

Love the picture I have in my head of Gandhi and Tyke snuggling on the settee. Didn't you buy it for you!
Maggie X

Nuts in May

Bernie said...

Like Maggie I am enjoying your artwork, it is very bright and cheerful.
Hope you are resting and feeling better. I think it is very hard when you crash after a high, sometimes it seems like all or nothing I know, but we can't sleep our life away nor can we work it away. We need a balance and with all the support and help you get from your doctors and helpers Nora I am sure you will soon be well and happy. That is my wish for you my friend....:-)Hugs

Wisewebwoman said...

I think life is full of ups and downs my dear, I was on a downspin too, it is just part of me. I'm coming up out of it now and went and got some new cardigans today and some lovely shirts. I was looking most shabby and I knew Nora would not like that with the attention she pays to her outfits.
fine feathers, right?
I hope you stay on the even keel.
It is OK to be sad now and again. I get that way too. We all do.

Much love

Gail said...

Apply that insightfullness to your clay and you will produce a master piece.

aims said...

Oh my friend. My heart aches for you. I know what you are saying here. I've felt it often and it is a very sad feeling indeed.

I'm sorry I've been away all summer. I did think of you often and had my fingers crossed that you were doing okay. I should have crossed them harder.

I know you're going to say it's not my problem. True enough. BUT - I care about my friends. And the caring part is MY problem and I don't find it a problem at all. So let me care about you in my fashion and don't YOU feel guilty about anything about me. Okay?